Why Male Survivors Still Feel Left Out of #MeToo

HeForeverBleeds · 2020-08-19T23:50:06+00:00

Alex is telling me about the emotional fallout he experienced after repeated sexual violence at the hands of another student during his sophomore year at boarding school. Despite being a victim of sexual violence, when I ask Alex about the #MeToo movement, he says..."I definitely didn't think it was for me. Women have been oppressed for so long that the #MeToo movement felt more like a recognition by society of all the atrocious things women have experienced. As a male, I tell myself that it's not about me and that it's important for the spotlight to be on women."

Craig, who was raped by a woman at a house party, feels similarly. "#MeToo is a great movement, but I’d also feel kinda guilty co-opting it for male victims. Sure, there are problems [for men], but I feel like the focus is best on the most affected communities."

Peter tells me that he doesn’t think of #MeToo as being about men like him even though he was sexually abused as a child by two older teen girls. "Nope, this is "their thing,' meaning I see the movement as predominantly about women who have been used, coerced and manipulated by men of power. I see #MeToo as a movement to give a voice to women who have had their voices silenced for so long. What happened to me was bad too, but I'd feel very uneasy trying to glom onto their coattails."

I think all these men's attitudes embody that unfortunate self-sacrificing, "women's well-being first, even at the expense of my own" mentality that most men are indoctrinated with from birth. As well as men's outgroup bias towards women and against other men

The problem with the whole "yes, male rape victims exist. But this movement is for the women" is that there is nothing for the men. It's not "this is for women, this is for men, and men shouldn't invade women's thing". It's "this is for women, and men don't have anything at all"

I'll go as far as to say that, since there are far fewer resources for male victims than for female victims, male victims are the most affected community. It's at least as important for the spotlight to be on male victims of sexual abuse, as it's them more than women who have been and continue to be silenced

Most people acknowledge that rape against women is a serious matter that needs to be addressed. But there are many people--evidently, sometimes even male rape victims themselves--who don't see male rape as a serious enough matter to warrant widespread attention

JustJamie- · 2020-08-20T02:24:26+00:00

They should start #MenToo

Title	Why Male Survivors Still Feel Left Out of #MeToo
Author	HeForeverBleeds
Upvotes	58
Comments	15
Date	August 19, 2020 11:45 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/iczb9i/why_male_survivors_still_feel_left_out_of_metoo/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-male-survivors-still-feel-left-out-of-metoo.845511 https://theredarchive.com/post/845511

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