This is why nothing ever improves

DeluxeEmperor · 2020-07-29T04:30:47+00:00

My mother used to be a police communicator and she recalls a call she got about a couple that were having a domestic.

Sends a car over and the car arrives to find a skinny blonde woman with fake nails in the hallway crying with a few bruises. They ask where her husband is and they get told he's in the bedroom.

The police go into the bedroom and find a man, naked, keeled over facing away from them on the bed. They ask him to show them his hands, he says he can't, they repeat and he slowly raises his hands and they've covered in blood.

The woman had apparently, while the man was sleeping, scratched the living hell out of his genitals, his foreskin was completely dis attached from the rest of his penis and the man passed out on the way to the ambulance.

Everyone can abuse. Everyone can attack someone with a knife, or a bat, or even a damn fork.

mikesteane · 2020-07-29T04:29:24+00:00

Start planning for divorce. Have a place to go to if you need and funds she cannot touch. Start accumulating evidence about her behaviour.

korea0rbust · 2020-07-29T05:22:04+00:00

If you want to stay with her, then you must make it conditional on one thing. If she refuses then whether you love her or not, separate immediately and then end the marriage. Otherwise whatever happens to you next is your own fault. You could end up with a felony conviction and you would deserve it for letting her walk all over you.

Here is the condition: She must admit the truth to the police or some person you can trust to testify for you if she lies again. A neutral party like your pastor or something. If she refuses to do this then you know all you need to know about whether she is going to falsely accuse you again. What she did to you the first time was her fault. If you put yourself in the position for it to happen again, then it will be you to blame. She lied. If she is truly repentant then she should prove that by telling the truth publicly and on record as she smeared you publicly and on record. This is just basic logic. If she refuses to do this then she is also refusing to take any personal responsibility for her actions which means any apology on her part is meaningless. People who are actually sorry try to rectify their wrong. She has set you up to look like a wife beater. So in the future, she has credibility and you don't. And she should have lost your trust by her own actions and it is for her to gain it back with meaningful action.

Seriously, if you just let this slide, I won't feel sorry for you later when she destroys your life with more lies.

And by the way, I'm a female telling you this. I don't like liars. Period.

I'll tell you what happened to me when I was 21. My boyfriend was in the kitchen and he got mad at something I said. So he ran in to the room and jumped on top of me and started banging my head into the ground. Then he got up and started walking in circles around me screaming at me. I just layed there quietly and let him tire himself out. When he stopped screaming, I asked him to leave. It was my place. He refused to go. I kept asking him but he wouldn't leave. It wasn't his place. It was my place. So I called the police so they would make him go. You know what he said really loud while I was talking to them? He said, "You were punching me." It was a total lie. He said that to cover his own ass to have that on the police tape from the call.

When he jumped on top of me, we were literally in different rooms and I was sitting zoned out on the floor staring into the wood stove. And in one second he came from the kitchen around the corner, slammed my body to the ground, and started beating my head into the floor. Such a disgusting lie. That was the first time that I realized what a big fat liar he was.

So the police came and made him leave. They asked me if I wanted to press charges. I said no. I had no lasting injuries and I didn't want to ruin anyone's life. I just wanted him to get the fuck out of my place.

I broke up with him over that. The lying bothered me more than the beating my head into the ground. I really, really hate liars. I grew up in an entire family of liars who constantly gaslighted me. There is nothing more dangerous or despicable than somebody that will just sit there and tell a bald-faced lie to benefit themselves at your expense.

If you are going to tolerate that crap because you love her, I mean, I don't even know what to tell you then. Cuz that means you really have zero sense of self protection. She's not sorry unless she rectifies it. Period. Saying she is sorry is not enough because talk is cheap.

lilqunt · 2020-07-29T09:11:28+00:00

I'd hate to suggest divorce. But it's sounds like separation is the only way this won't end with your eventual attempted suicide. Cherish your life, it's a gift, don't let someone you "love" treat you this way.

Lethn · 2020-07-29T04:40:33+00:00

You can thank the duluth model for that, I've come to realise like others especially with recent incidents that politicians should be embarrassed with the level of training police officers get in comparison to the situations they have to deal with. It certainly doesn't help that in the UK our police force seems to be comprised of political activists rather than people who want to do their job.

CryptoSin · 2020-08-02T18:38:32+00:00

If she doesn't want counseling don't be naive, run away bro. Catch her on a good day, be sympathetic do whatever you can do stream line a divorce and a separation of assets and go your own way.

So many guys stick it out when she is done, you guys are done. There is no second convincing. People here are advising you to look at for your well being because this only ends up two ways

1) You leave and start over

2) You get blamed, or imprisoned or worse.

Title	This is why nothing ever improves
Author	candle_86
Upvotes	27
Comments	16
Date	July 29, 2020 4:18 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/hzu038/this_is_why_nothing_ever_improves/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/this-is-why-nothing-ever-improves.846796 https://theredarchive.com/post/846796

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