I’m going to preface this post with a few things. First, it’s similar to a comment I left on another thread, but it is a claim I want to make in a broader context. Secondly, I am a man, a feminist, and I believe in men’s rights. Lastly, I’m going to disagree with a lot of people here, so I’m going to plead to that portion of free speech in the sidebar. Feel free to comment your objections respectively.

My claim is simple: men’s rights and feminism needs to come together. I’m a feminist, and I believe that feminism should and doesn’t enough take into account the struggles that men face. I believe the opposite for MRA’s. However, I’m not going to talk about the faults of many feminists here, because you all already know them.

To start, I want to acknowledge a historical domination of men over women. This isn’t really up for debate; men used to really shit on women. I make this point not to justify any retaliation, but to put into context how men created and molded the society. This is how feminists see the word. I also want to talk on the patriarchy, which I think exists. I understand certain frustrations because men face problems just as much as women, but this does not invalidate it’s existence. Too many feminists make shitty definitions of the patriarchy, so let’s break it down and take a close look at its definition. Wikipedia: “Patriarchy is a social system in which men hold primary power and predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property.” Political leadership? Check Moral authority? That’s a bit of an ambiguous claim that I won’t defend. Social privilege? People tend to take men more seriously than women as a general pattern. Control of property? Absolutely. This doesn’t mean that women are disproportionately abused or anything; it’s just a overall pattern of social hierarchy.

As you can see, stemming from this definition, I would certainly argue that a patriarchy exists in the developed world. Here’s the key thing to consider: it’s larger scale problems. It’s about the distribution of wealth and power in society. While both men and women have important issues that neither side addresses, the structure of society on a large scale does tip in the balance of men. I used to not consider myself a feminist, but this is what made me consider myself both. Women are frustrated with this imbalance, and it’s something that needs to be taken seriously.

On a smaller scale, both men and women have problems. This is where I think both Men’s Rights Activists and Feminists need to understand each other more. Both men and women perpetuate harmful standards towards one another and themselves. Furthermore, women do seem to be able to get away with it way more which is a shame. This doesn’t mean that men still don’t do it.

Another statement I want to make is that when people claim “Feminists say” this and that, it can often be a strawman fallacy. Yes, there are really dumb and vocal feminists who are just assholes. Remember to consider selection biases. In the real world, outside of the social media hype that cameras give to these idiots, most feminists are quite understanding and will sympathize with men’s problems if them give them the chance. We are just frustrated with certain gender roles and society structures, and men’s problems are no different. Most people who deny them are just uneducated. Both sides should educate each other. Feminists and MRA’s will listen.

Maybe this a bit of a naive conclusion, but if you ever come at someone trying to argue, they will defend. It’s human nature. But if both sides voice concerns in a way that doesn’t incite aggression, we can get way more accomplished for both men and women collectively.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.