How to politely disband beta followers and orbiters?

Pink_acetaminophen · 2014-10-28T04:49:10+00:00

You need to set better boundaries in which you can both be comfortable and not lead guys on. If a guy is constantly trying you how attractive you are and ignoring You when you clearly tell him that it's inappropriate then the friendship is not salvageable. You need to be direct, stop talking to people who ignore your boundaries and not let people do favors for you or treat you in a way you know is more than the relationship You will reciprocate.

mountainboar · 2014-10-29T00:53:28+00:00

You can't rebuff people who regard you as a romantic interest without hurting them. You have to be willing to draw clear and explicit boundaries - this minimizes the hurt.

IThoughtHeWasWithYou · 2014-10-29T05:43:47+00:00

As a guy who did this quite a bit in the past, this is what I think would have been best for me (though of course not what I would've wanted at the time). And this is frankly more than you need to do. It goes slightly beyond just getting rid of them and tries to help them become more socially savvy (which hopefully will keep them off your back). Also, I'm assuming these are guys you hang out with person from time to time. If this is almost all texts, then shit, just stop answering.

Unfortunately for everyone, a guy who is acting like this is the same sort of guy who will likely to be most emotionally effected by your rejection.

Ultimately, though, (and as others have said) you have to set a boundary by firmly rejecting their courtship, ideally making it clear that you are not and will never be sexually attracted to them. (In principle, maybe it's possible that for you to become attracted someday, but better to not leave even a crack open for these guys to cling to.) To mitigate the emotional hurt, try to make clear that whether or not you are attracted to them is not a choice you are making. You simply don't feel that way, and you can't change how you feel, just like they probably can't change how they feel about fat ugly girls (though they might take the last part as an insult to just use your master social skills to gauge).

Beyond that, you might try to get them to really look at their own motivation and question why they're 'friends' with you at all, and what it means for a guy and a girl to be merely platonic friends (and maybe how you just don't think it's possible).

Finally, you might explain to them that being 'flirty' is not that big of a deal for most girls. And that they need to understand that going forward. The sooner they figure it out, the better.

Ideally, this is a conversation you have in person. Text is too easily misinterpreted, especially for guys who are not socially savvy. And this is a conversation you should only need to have once (if the behavior continues, then it's their problem, not yours, and you can and should just start ignoring them). In any event, no more of this politely changing the subject. Be polite but be firm and clear about how you feel.

[deleted] · 2014-10-28T16:32:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

user142 · 2014-10-28T03:49:54+00:00

Just be less nice

Title	How to politely disband beta followers and orbiters?
Author	8FuzzyLegs
Upvotes	4
Comments	11
Date	October 28, 2014 3:48 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2kjbim/how_to_politely_disband_beta_followers_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-to-politely-disband-beta-followers-and.84981 https://theredarchive.com/post/84981

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