In A Relationship for 1 Year And Have No Clue What I'm Doing

always-be-closing · 2016-01-10T20:26:24+00:00

So, no one can tell you what to do entirely, really. We're not you, and can't live your life for you. Plenty of people will try do that, and if you go along with it, you'll regret it, by the way.

I'm not talking down to you, and I'm not trying to say your feelings are invalid, but you're 17.

Right now, your body doesn't realize the last 15,000 or so years of human civilization, everything from formalized agricultural schedules to city planning to legislatures and taxes and educational programs, industrialization, etc. happened.

It doesn't know about any of that.

What it does know is that your body is in its reproductive prime, that you're healthy enough to carry young, and that its best chance at biological perpetuity is reproducing with a high quality man whose genes will give your offspring a competitive advantage over others, and secure investment from that high quality man to protect and provide for you and your young.

Same goes for the 17 year old guy - - his body has no idea what "child support" is. That's a high level societal concept, it's completely abstract. The information about it isn't written into his DNA.

The need for him to become immortal through attempting to reproduce with as many women as many times as he can is.

I realize this sounds kind of shitty and dismissive - - but that's basically where most amorous emotions come from, especially when we're 17.

However, it can be a foundation for something much more, something that's deliberate, that you work on each day, and which lasts a lifetime.

I broke up with him, he said ultimately it was my decision but he'd make more time for me and didn't want it to end because he loves me and sees a future with me

He made good on his promises and we're still together.

I think the relationship is illogical because obviously we're not going to be the same in college and afterwards.

Long distance relationships are really hard, and 'getting back together' is even harder, especially if you've had relationships (or even just sex) with someone else in the meantime, it's true.

I think if I end it for good I'd also be making a huge mistake and even my mom and aunts tell me so.

What do your father and uncles say about it? Do they look at this young man, and think "Yeah, this guy is the kind of guy we think our girl deserves?"

(By the way, that comes with assumptions on their part about what you want)

What you want really is crucial here.

Do you want to get married? Have kids? In general I mean, not with this guy.

Is that something you want? What do you see yourself doing in such a relationship?

How do these wants interact with your personal academic and work ambitions?

You're in a life stage where you're transitioning to adulthood, and now is a good time to be thinking about this kind of stuff.

You don't have to have the next two decades of your life planned out (because even if you do, it's still not going to go that way exactly, trust me on this), but now is a very important transitional time.

Taking some time to be alone with your own thoughts and think about what you value - concretely, even writing things down with paper and pencil (you don't have to let anyone see it) - so that you know what you want and understand what is compromised for one thing to get another - will do you a lot of good.

2016-01-11T03:55:18+00:00

As someone in a pretty great relationship only a few years older than you (21), I'd say that you would be best off ending things. If your relationship is meant to be, it will work out one way or another.

College is a time for improving yourself and focusing on your studies. You don't want a relationship weighing you down. You obviously realize that already. Don't waste your time on a relationship that you don't think will make it. Find hobbies, focus on friends, and I'm sure you'll find someone new. You're only 17, you have a lot of time ahead of you.

CharmingChica · 2016-01-10T22:00:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TempestTcup · 2016-01-10T22:36:53+00:00

I removed the NSFW label :)

Title	In A Relationship for 1 Year And Have No Clue What I'm Doing
Author	CharmingChica
Upvotes	7
Comments	22
Date	January 10, 2016 7:44 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/40ct38/in_a_relationship_for_1_year_and_have_no_clue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/in-a-relationship-for-1-year-and-have-no-clue-what.85899 https://theredarchive.com/post/85899

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