I apologize for the length, but I've only ever told my full story to two people in my life, and I'm tired of it sitting in the back of my head even though life is perfect now.

After seeing all the recent news about Johnny Depp, and the severity of what he had to endure, I think it's time I actually just put out there what happened to me. I am using an alt-account though, because who knows if my abuser is on reddit and will recognize my other account.

When I was 16, I started talking to this girl that went to a different high school in the same city in the Midwest. We met in person only once during a period of about 2 months, but that encounter and talking on facebook was perfect. She was funny, she listened, and we had some similar interests and views, so I decided to finally man up and ask her on a date. I decided to take her bowling at the university lanes, and I was very adamant that my best friend and his girlfriend came along since I already had pretty bad anxiety at the time and needed a safety cushion. I remember having a lot of fun, but she punched me in the arm and was pretty upset that I won. I was young, and assumed it was all playful since me and my friends joke around like that all the time. I even had to apologize to her quite a bit before she finally forgave me. That should have been red flags #1 and #2.

One night, we were hanging out and I suggested taking a little unofficial break so we could figure ourselves out and how to maintain the relationship better. That was immediately met with "my dad wants me to come home right now." She leaves, and I get a snapchat her cuddled up on some creepy guy's shoulder at a party. No response for hours. I tell her I know what happened, and she begs for me back saying she was at a place she shouldn't have been and doesn't remember anything from the night. Which is convenient because I learned after our breakup that she cheated, but the alligator tears worked, and I just wanted to take care of here.

She promised she would be better, but I've already become extremely paranoid because of her mind games. She was constantly punching and hitting me when I say things she didnt like, she didnt hit too hard, I protected myself body, and I rarely had any visible bruises. She pinched my shoulder so hard that I still have a scar from her nails. I got hit in the jewels so many times that I lost count, but she fed me these lies that I would never find anyone else that loves me like she does. I believed her, and this went on for close to a year. Everything for that year was pretty rinse and repeat until she started telling me I was the abuser. She flipped me into this worried mess, and then put all the blame on me while she continued to do her thing. I believed it for quite a long time, too.

Then one day, I pushed her off me when she started hitting me again. I immediately grabbed my coat and left her house. The next day at school, I was called to the office to visit with a cop. I was questioned about what happened, I told the truth, but he didnt believe a word I said. It was the loneliest hour of my life. I was told I could potentially spend my summer in jail, not get my degree, and the other effects. I was crying, still answering the exact same way every single time until I'm finally told there would be no charges pressed against. That was a relief, but I was wrecked. That cop is no longer on the force after a short conversation with a very nice police chief, if that is any consolation.

My parents didnt believe that was a victim for about a year. I spent the summer on my same friend's couch every night, went to therapy 4 times a week, but I lost a lot of friends. I developed insomnia, my anxiety was already bad and only got worse, and I felt like a zombie. I didn't even want to show my face at school, because word has already spread around the area that I was some sort of monster while my ex lived her best life.

I lost a lot because I was a victim, and no one believed me. It took me 3 years to just go on a date again, let alone be able to speak to females without fear. Today, I'm currently engaged to the sweetest and most loving girl I have ever met. The first few months were bumpy because I worried a little too much, and jumped to the worst possible conclusion. I also would flinch everytime I made a dumb joke or if she moved a little to quickly around me. We made it through together, she understood me and gave me so much love and support. The day I finally conquered all those fears, life and love ended up being a very beautiful thing.

What annoys me though, is this ex is still trying to keep her power over me. I've been contacted by police within the last year under allegations of harassment online (which occurred after my current relationship became apparent), and fake social media accounts where she harrasses my fiancee with lies. It's nothing big or worrisome for my relationship though, we discuss it when it pops up, and then it's gone.

TL;DR 16yo me was abused in almost every category, I had it flipped into my blame and got in trouble when I protected myself. I'm still known as a monster in my town, and spent 3 years in fear before meeting my fiancee. I started to heal, but my ex wanted to regain her power there for a little amount of time. Life is great now!