What's my rights when it comes to my child?

Oncefa2 · 2020-02-03T17:40:49+00:00

One piece of advice: document everything. Meaning dates, locations, and evidence. Write it down, put it in your phone, and keep it organized.

She smoked weed, while pregnant, on this date, at this location, with these people. I know this because xyz.
On this date, she sent me a text saying she didn't want to take care of the kid and was going to give it to her mom. Here is the text message.
On this date she yelled at me and slammed doors around the house because xyz.

If you can build a case that she's a bad parent, or does drugs, or is abusive to you or your kid, you might have a case to gain custody.

Unfortunately, I'm not sure there's a whole lot you can do while she's pregnant to make her not do drugs though.

You can try to be "supportive" and make plans to spend time with her so she isn't with her friends that do drugs, but that's about all I can think of. You'd just have to try to convince her yourself; legally I don't think you can do much.

2020-02-03T17:40:53+00:00

Your best move is to find a family lawyer who does a free consultation in your area and make an appointment. They will know the states statutes and laws concerning this situation and are way more reliable than any advice on reddit.

Some advice man to man to go with that...

Do not inform her at any time that you are going to speak to an attorney.
While I support your valor and willingness to join the military, you will be less likely to receive any custody as you will be stationed away from home or possibly even deployed. The benefits would be awesome. The pay isnt that great and minus child support is even a more bleak living.
You are now in a game of poker because you poked her. Make better choices of where to stick your dick. If a girls mom is in a halfway house...the girl is most likely to end up there also. Do not show your hand before you play it.

Lethn · 2020-02-03T19:31:56+00:00

Get a DNA test before you sign anything, if it's a short term fling and she suddenly announces she's pregnant it's remarkable how often it turns out that they're lying. If not then other people will have more specific legal advice for you. Going by how ridiculous she's being, it wouldn't surprise me if this is a trap, get a DNA test before you do anything.

INTELDracula · 2020-02-03T17:33:21+00:00

Is there a reason you don't use condoms?

RealBiggly · 2020-02-03T17:21:37+00:00

If in the UK, totally fucked, but if American or wotnot I guess it depends on the state province etc?

2020-02-03T17:39:46+00:00

If you have some one to hand the custody of the kid over to like your parents ask for that from her also get the paternity test.

cld8 · 2020-02-03T22:24:29+00:00

Your rights depend on where you live. Each country and each state has its own rules. If you two break up, I highly recommend seeing an attorney who can guide you on how to handle this.

grandmasbroach · 2020-02-04T02:07:04+00:00

Veteran here. You won't get custody and it will be an easy case against you, like it or not. Constantly moving around the world and not ever knowing when you'll get your next set of orders doesn't really lend itself to being a great situation for the child. At least, that's what the argument against you will be.

Besides, you'd most likely move every 1-3 years. Between that, you'll never know exactly when your going. If they need bodies in a war, you'll be gone for 12-15 months at a time. Again, without any significant notice in advance of any of it happening, maybe a few months tops. Do you really want that life for a child? Stay in school boys and girls. It really does pay off in the end.

I recommend you start looking at some trades or local specialty schools. My brother went from drug addicted, mental health in sharp decline. To, getting back in school, graduating a wind turbine repair program. Did that for a few years to make some good money, and is now in school getting his bachelor's in electrical engineering. That's a far better plan than, fuck it I'll join the military. That's almost giving up on life if it's something you even need to think about doing. I actually wanted to go, couldn't wait to leave for boot camp, eventually ended up as a combat medic paratrooper with the 82nd airborne. When I got out, I had to basically start over because none of my qualifications translated to anything in the civilian world. Other than the benefits for school I was right back where I started, but with six years gone, a busted up body, ptsd, and a dysfunctional VA that does nothing to really help.

Go to trade or to community college. This will show the judge that you're at least trying to improve your situation. With the military, you'll have exactly zero control over your life, and that's just not a great situation to properly raise a child in. Trust me, I've seen guys try. What will you do for the 3-4 months you're gone for basic, and then the 3-4 months for school after that? It doesn't all happen one after the other really fast. You're constantly in hold over status waiting for the next thing to start, and you won't really have contact with the outside world while doing it. They want you focused on the job at hand. It's not a family friendly thing at all. Just know that.

Diesel-66 · 2020-02-04T05:28:48+00:00

None until it's born.

Then you can petition for custody/visitation.

turbulance4 · 2020-02-04T18:13:57+00:00

What's my rights when it comes to my child?

Without being married? Near zero. Note that this is not an endorsement for marriage, after divorce the rights revert back to near zero.

I'm truly sorry to say but it's unlikely you will be able to do anything positive in this situation. I think it's kind of ridiculous to think you might get full custody. If you're lucky you can get every other weekend and basically no decision-making ability. That's assuming mom will voluntarily accept that custody arrangement.

White_Mlungu_Capital · 2020-02-04T04:54:13+00:00

Lol, you doing things backwards. If she pregnant, tell her to get the abortion and you'll pay for half. Tell her if she has it, you won't support it and want no part of it and will run away and not be part of the kids life. Don't join the army because war is likely with president trump and iran at the helm. Also you will never get cusotdy if you want your kid.

You will have no rights at first until paternity is established as you are unmaarried.

Many, but it won't be your baby, she will have the kid and if you are lucky you will see it once a year and it will be taught to hate yur guts and you are a bad man.

You are unmarried, won't get even joint custody unless you fight for 10 years straight and sue constantly for more and more custody. Unless she is caught snorting a line on camera, you won't get that.

Very fucked, tell her she is more fucked to scare her, get an abortion.

Title	What's my rights when it comes to my child?
Author	INTELDracula
Upvotes	28
Comments	16
Date	February 3, 2020 5:02 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/eya3ow/whats_my_rights_when_it_comes_to_my_child/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/whats-my-rights-when-it-comes-to-my-child.859738 https://theredarchive.com/post/859738

Comments