[21M] How do I deal with baby fever as a man?

xNOM · 2020-01-29T09:06:52+00:00

You're in for a rocky road. You have no reproductive rights. You are at the mercy of some woman's whim.

imperator_heraclius · 2020-01-29T05:16:28+00:00

What do you mean by 'not going to settle'?

BirdMington · 2020-01-29T09:27:57+00:00

Masturbating regularly helps a lot. Jack off a few times and see if you feel the same way about it after. Watch a few episodes of the show Supernanny and your urges are gone. :)

But seriously just think about it in a logical way. Kids are ridiculously expensive and time-consuming even if you have a partner you can trust and love. It takes dedication to become a good dad and a healthy relationship to make sure that kid grows up happy and balanced.

You need a stable and loving relationship and you need to live together for years to see if you are going to make it as a couple or not. If you skip this part and go for a kid too soon you will regret it.

Lion_amongst_gods · 2020-01-29T10:40:45+00:00

What is a baby fever?

Ahlruin · 2020-01-29T09:03:02+00:00

well if your like me it never goes away

JackieNaper1907 · 2020-01-29T16:39:49+00:00

Try volunteering, babysitting, etc

NakedValhallaBoy · 2020-01-29T21:59:36+00:00

if you have the spare time try volunteering for a big brother program. This will give you real hands on time with a kid so it won't just scratch the itch but also prepare you for a future where you'll have a kid around that you can't just pass off to the parent whenever something goes wrong.

Tumblepower1234 · 2020-01-30T12:54:20+00:00

I felt the same way when I was your age. I remember having conversations with my father who had his first child at 19. The times were different then however, his logic was sound and had me come to realize that having a family was something I wanted because of leaving my own family unit (I moved out at 18). I felt like I almost wanted something to replace the loss I was feeling. The reality of it is however that you are still very young, you have tons of time to have a family and make that decision... You have no restrictions other than your financial well-being, and your right to have life experience before child.

The urge to have a child never really goes away but you have to supplant your emotional desires with logical reasoning: am I old enough to support a child right now? Do I have the time to invest in raising a child? Am I really mature enough to have a child right now? Am I able to find a partner who is mature enough/ financially and emotionally capable of handling a child?

Sounds like you're doing the right thing focusing on your studies. You'll have a family someday, try to enjoy not having one - as bad as that sounds, I hope you understand the intent I'm trying to convey.

Talbooth · 2020-01-29T08:23:26+00:00

I'm a bit young to have gone through this, so my advice may be a bit generic, but try to find a way to channel that longing into something. Something related to the baby fever, not just "study hard so you have no time to think about it".

Fish_cant_feel_pain · 2020-01-29T13:03:44+00:00

I was expecting a Saturday Night Fever scenario, with you as the strutting John Travolta character fending off a clingy girl with baby fever. It's unusual to hear of a man with baby fever, especially a 21-year old man, but you're an unusual character in touch with your feminine side, and taking a wild guess from your posting history, you're attending BYU and are surrounded in real life by something most of us have only seen in old movies - nice respectable boy meeting nice respectable girl and getting married and having kids in their early 20's.

I recommend that you watch the movies of a director called Hal Hartley, not because they contain the solution to your baby fever or whatever your problem will be next week, but because you'll appreciate the droll, wallowing-in-melancholy, transfixed-by-inchoate-longings characters. Simple Men is a great one to start with, and you'll obviously have to watch Amateur, where Isabelle Huppert plays a former nun ("when I make mistakes, they tend to be big ones") who's a nymphomaniac who's never had sex ("I'm choosy").

Title	[21M] How do I deal with baby fever as a man?
Author	Fish_cant_feel_pain
Upvotes	16
Comments	24
Date	January 29, 2020 5:05 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/evi7re/21m_how_do_i_deal_with_baby_fever_as_a_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/21m-how-do-i-deal-with-baby-fever-as-a-man.860069 https://theredarchive.com/post/860069

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