I stumbled across this blog of Living the Sweet Wife with a post about Eight of the Worst Marriage Habits. Reading the list I found myself recognizing some issues that users have brought to RPW in seek of advice. I wanted to bring this to discussion, not only to touch base on the issues she addressed here, but to ask users what issues you have faced in your past/present relationships that you realized needed to be addressed.

Complaining to your friends

I know a lot of people seek an outlet when they feel like they need to vent their frustrations regarding their relationship. Airing your dirty laundry is a very bad habit to fall into, especially when it's to close friends who could begin to see your husband only through a lens of grievances you have brought to them over and over.

Laying in bed on the phone

I know this is a habit many couples adopt, and in fact A and I are no exception, although it has always been the case that this blogger recommends where we will both put our phones away as soon as the both of us are in bed. I cherish each night laying with my head on his chest and just talking about everything and nothing at all - I can't imagine browsing your Facebook or YouTube to be a better way to drift off to sleep.

Knowing your spouse too well

I laughed at this part because her exchange with her H regarding laundry is pretty much an excerpt from my life. The kitchen is always tidy as soon as I'm done cooking, the bathroom is well maintained, surfaces are wiped down regularly and everything is de-cluttered. Then there is laundry. He is patient with me and I am grateful for him. I know coming home to a tidy home is important to him so this is one focus of mine right now.

Resenting sex

I have to disagree with her here about 'scheduling' sex. Maybe keep a mental note about how many times you have had sex that week and make sure you reach an agreed upon minimum, but I think looking at the clock and seeing that it's 6:30pm on a Wednesday and remembering you scheduled your husband in for a blowjob is just disappointing. I've seen comments on threads and within IRC that a lot of women are aware that their libidos aren't as high as their SO - that's fine! I really liked how /u/_wingnut_ commented "to paraphrase Dr. Laura: dont wait until youre in the mood to do it, do it til youre in the mood. it is a good exercise in letting go of bad character resentments and controllingness"

Having friends of the opposite sex

The only men that I've hung out with are friends of A's when they come over to visit. If your H told you he was going to go hang out and have a drink with one or a few of his girl friends, would you be fine with this? I think this blogger summed it up pretty well, saying "cutting out the possibility of jealousy, competition, and suspicion makes marriage a whole lot simpler for both you and your spouse"

Not being happy to see your spouse when they come home (or when you come home)

As silly as it may sound, I always think about how people say a dog is a mans best friend. To quote Bill Burr "It's not until you're an adult you appreciate how awesome a dog is. Your dreams start dying, somebody cheats on ya, bankers fuck up your 401k, ya know? Then ya come home and that dog's looking at you and he's like, 'Dude, you're awesome!' It's like No, dude you... You are fucking awesome!'" Just that one simple devotion, that excitement and love is enough to wash away a bad day sometimes. No matter how crappy a day I have had I always try to greet A with a smile and a big kiss as soon as I see him. Being a beacon of positivity can make a big difference in how the rest of his night goes when he comes home!

Always doing your own thing.

"By all means, be your own person, love your own hobbies, have your own preferences BUT do stuff with that man you married over there!" Absolutely take time to yourself, and be sure to let your husband have his own time, but remember to continue to engage each other regularly.

Forgetting to laugh

Luckily A is as big a goofball as I am so this comes naturally. I think one of the biggest smiles I can get is when I cause him to have a real, honest, belly laugh. I think having a similar sense of humor as your SO is very important for this reason. We flirt and joke around and are generally playful throughout the day.

Do you find that there are any points here that have been issues or is something you are working on? What are some other scenarios you think could be common points of contention within relationships?