My sister has a storied history of being a loud violent drunk, who breaks things in tantrums and hits her boyfriends. I have a history of profound virtue: military service, college education, charity, compassion, logic, etc. For about 10 years I'm the one getting the "I don't want to be here anymore" phone calls at 2 in the morning, I'm the one paying her insurance, cosigning loans, helping her find her own place, listening to her vent about how the whole world is against her.

Recently I hear about how her current boyfriend (who we know she's assaulted and cheated on) just wrecked her apartment and threw her into a wall where a window sill was broken, as well as one of her ribs. Her story and her (ex)boyfriend's naturally don't match. She claims to have been completely sober and nonviolent this time. I don't believe it but I keep my mouth shut for the most part.

On a facebook post about how she's in so much pain from her broken rib, there are a bunch of pathetic white knights in there talking about how you shouldn't hit women and how they want to beat up this guy and she doesn't deserve it and such. I finally lose my patience and make a post telling them to calm down and that she has a history of lying and beating up boyfriends so lets not just take her word for it.

My mom then sends me a lengthy message about how the holidays are cancelled for me and my brother (who is a veteran and homeowner) for daring to criticize our sister's credibility. She ends the message with "I am done. Don't talk to me for a while." This is amazing to me, because I'm well known in my social circles to be essentially a pillar of morality. Only a few days later I'm invited to visit my mom, which is surprising because the first message she sent read a lot like a disowning. I respond with "No thanks"; genius I know. She then goes on a a lengthy rant about how I have no support, or compassion for my sister, and that I've totally abandoned her, and that she expected better. I go on to outline how all of those claims are demonstrably wrong. I tell her she "was wrong to break with me", but she claims she never did in spite of the vivid terms she used in the initial message. She then slows her roll slightly and suggests I air these suspicions in person with my sister and her present.

I decide to go visit my sister instead, because all this time I was actually talking to my sister too about how I don't believe her. My sister tried the standard crying guilt trip, but I wouldn't allow it this time. After sifting through her apartment I was able to find some good enough evidence to compel me to come around. There were vulgar messages written on a few things, and I compared it to some handwriting of hers that she would be unlikely to fabricate: her diary. I still don't believe that she's telling the entire truth, but I believe her a little more than him at this point.

My sister and I are cool, and we were basically cool the whole time but my mom felt it appropriate to call me evil and cancel the holidays. She tried to punish her 29 year old son. The smart thing for my mom to do would have been to say "You've been misled before, so I understand your skepticism." She decided to act childish and neurotic instead. Even If I'm completely wrong about who's at fault, I was right to doubt my sister. If my mom want's to speak to me again she'll have to apologize about unfairly maligning me. We'll see how long it takes since I'm the child who visits her the most...