Hi everyone,

I'd like to discuss something, with the intent of taking it out of my chest as well as (hopefully) get some insight on how I could act once this happens.

I am a man in Western society (UK migrant from Portugal) and thus I am concerned about the state of affairs that may influence my life as well as the lives of those around me.

This does not mean I am oblivious to issues that other people have, I simply also like to be informed regarding things that will affect me (i.e. politics).

My concern right now is that, every time I mention MRM I seem to get a response that essentially claims that all my concerns, belief and existence is wrong.

Today I was attempting (key word) to converse with a self-proclaimed feminist and as soon as I mentioned MRM I was told that she didn't want to talk with me because I am against her beliefs. This is not true. She defends the gender pay gap and I explained the statistic invalidation behind it and she believes that we live in a Patriarchal society and I mentioned how generalising every man based on the 1% elite is wrong.

I told her as well that MRM (healthy non radical) has nothing to do with women and told her that it's very selfish and self centered to enforce that, because I like to be informed regarding men's rights, I am by default against and oblivious of the other problem that our society faces.

Once I asked for any kind of actual valid argument I was told "it's not my job to educate you"; this answer baffles me. We need to converse and reach a consensus as well as not blame each other for problems that everyone goes through. She started being rude and saying "I don't want to talk with someone with my attitude" to which I said "My attitude? You're a hypocrite and ignorant at that."

I mention that my grandma was active in the woman's rights and my grandfather had an important role on the cue of 75 that took down fascism in Portugal, she replied to this "only because of their privilege, not everyone had a good life". I honestly felt insulted, my grandpa was chased by the political police (PIDE) and had to run with my whole family to France for 15 years!! We went through hardships all our lives for fighting for what we believe in and, without even knowing ANYTHING about my life or my family's life, we had a good one.

I went through starvation, I lived in ghetto's alone and still she claims this??? I am at a loss for words.

Conversation ended eventually with her talking shit and me saying "ignorance is only bliss if it doesn't damage anyone else".

Other case was that I mentioned men's issues at work as it was the topic, not as a reply but as a belief and I had to go for a meeting with a supervisor because the feminists kept formally complaining. This happened 3 times and it only ended when I said "if you bring me to a formal meeting again without any kind of investigation I will sue you for sexism at work" (used their own threat against them), this because there was no investigation on what really happened and I was threatened with HR.

I would like to propagate a healthy discussion environment where people stop claiming things and start explaining things. I see no overture for discussion and instead I feel like everyone is trying to shut me up while I'm receiving 2 emails a week regarding "action to improve women's environment" and many, many actions to make sure women are informed about the workplace and have a higher chance of getting promoted. Am I suppose to respect someone that had everything given to them?

Another case that I felt (yesterday) comes from this. I have a larger skillset as well as more experience and more ability (tech ability) than any other on my team and still only women get promoted. Every. Single. Time.

I don't understand why I am being held responsible for something I had no part in and why am I not allowed to improve myself because of what someone's ancestors did?

I don't know what to say or do, I will NOT perpetuate a behaviour at work or anywhere else that says "you CAN'T talk about certain things" when it should be "may you talk about sensitive topics, you must be correct and polite" and this works for work and outside of it.

I'm sick and tired of this victim mentality, so many people taking about rape culture but no one can say "victim hood culture".

I need some guidance regarding this, if at all possible.

Rant over. Thank you for reading.

TL;DR: your problem.