How can I support my boyfriend to become more alpha?

rainyweathergirl · 2016-12-08T13:54:22+00:00

People always put up a front at the start of their relationships. It sounds to me like this is who your boyfriend really is. He's given up trying to impress you because he feels comfortable in the relationship, and you are seeing his true colors.

loneliness-inc · 2016-12-08T15:40:35+00:00

(doesn't need to work - trust fund)

Raising your child with a trust fund is one of the worst things you can do to them. If you have enough money for a trust fund, make it but don't tell your kid about it until they're married and bought a house on their own and value money.

Being raised with a trust fund is being raised with an anti motivation crutch that warps your financial mind. Your BF is fighting an uphill battle that's very difficult to win.

lessics · 2016-12-09T00:31:57+00:00

At 29, he's too old for this. At 22, you're too young to accept this.

[deleted] · 2016-12-08T20:39:47+00:00

Your boyfriend has to want to change, you can't decide for him. You also can't lead him there, it doesn't work that way.

RubyWooToo · 2016-12-09T12:49:40+00:00

Questions like this always come down to "Can you help me change him without me acting like I'm changing him?" Sorry, you can't, especially with a guy who has no incentive to change. Also, he's 29, not 22, so you really can't expect him to grow out of it.

The best you can do is work at excelling and becoming the best person you can be... Active, successful and accomplished. Maybe seeing those qualities in you will make him not want to be aimless and lazy by comparison.

lessics · 2016-12-08T15:02:39+00:00

It sounds like he is somewhat depressed, so here is some advice. Sometimes you can find your passions by looking at what you loved in your childhood and teenage years. Other times you can find it in whatever thing or things helped you the most after severe trauma. Everyone has things they are passionate about that they primarily associate with being positive, when we suppress or get disconnected from those things, we lose motivation. Let the positive memories overtake the negative memories, and build more positive memories from there. You can't grow without some amount of risk and vulnerability, and you can't take risks without seeing your negative memories as detached from the present moment.

lessics · 2016-12-08T22:52:43+00:00

Yikes, I don't mean to disparage but my experience with trust fund guys has not been positive. When people have unlimited money (that they didn't earn) it can have very negative effects. In my opinion an alpha man would probably not even touch his trust (except to invest it), content to make it on his own instead.

To be honest, the women I know with trust funds aren't any better off. They tend to flounder, rarely work, quit things when they want to, etc. Many of them seem to be depressed and flailing. They don't have much drive or ambition.

I really think it's a huge disservice for a parent to give a child limitless financial support. I understand a trust that kicks in at 40 or something, but if you don't have to work...what drives you? If everything you have was given to you...where's the sense of pride? I think with women this can be overcome, but men draw so much more confidence and sense of self from their work and accomplishments. When they reach the finish line without running the race they don't know what to do.

[deleted] · Thu Dec 8 17:06:35 2016 UTC

[permanently deleted]

nonthaki · 2016-12-08T17:39:54+00:00

I think he is just depressed . Do You work ?

Title	How can I support my boyfriend to become more alpha?
Author	lessics
Upvotes	2
Comments	18
Date	December 8, 2016 1:31 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5h6wuh/how_can_i_support_my_boyfriend_to_become_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-can-i-support-my-boyfriend-to-become-more.86704 https://theredarchive.com/post/86704

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