Trying to grow into a rose in the concrete...advice?

PantheraTigris95 · 2017-01-03T20:52:15+00:00

I would suggest that 'self improvement' takes second place to taking care of your wellbeing and that of your children. It sounds like you are in an abusive relationship and that kind of person does not deserve any sort of 'captain' treatment.

Leave him, take your kids, and move on from there. You're 28, not 48 - you're young enough to endure some hardship, move on and have a better life. It's not starting from scratch, you've gained experience and your next stages in life will benefit from that.

If leaving isn't an option at this point, make it your 'project' to start planning. Start saving money religiously. Make notes (in a safe place) of when he does anything to you or your children so you can use them if necessary in the divorce. Talk to friends/family or any support that you have!

[deleted] · 2017-01-03T22:48:19+00:00

You don't need RPW my dear, you need to get yourself and your kids somewhere safe!

Willow-girl · 2017-01-04T13:53:22+00:00

when he regularly threatens my life and the lives of my kids,

Shelter, now. You are not in a safe situation. You can replace priceless possessions ... you can't replace YOU, or (God forbid) one of your children.

Logistics. You say your children don't belong to your husband. Can they stay at their dad[']s['] house[s] while you get things sorted out?

Go talk to a counselor at a shelter ... they will help you make an action plan and break things down into steps that don't seem so overwhelming. And over the long run, they can help you get your head on straight so you don't go out and choose another abuser! This cycle CAN be broken ... I did it, you can too.

I'll leave you with a final thing to consider. I don't know how old your kids are, but know that it's common for children in an abusive home to side with the abuser, not the victim. If you have sons, they will grow up to treat you (and their future partners) the way your husband treats you. Is this the legacy you want to pass on?

TheSelfGoverned · 2017-01-05T07:53:07+00:00

You should try MDMA with your husband. I recommend ~75mg each.

Wait 1 week.

From there, move to magic mushrooms. I recommend 1.5 grams each. Wait 1-2 weeks. Repeat a few times, while monitoring his emotions and behavior.

If you see improvement in his emotions/behavior (and he has handled step 2 well), move to LSD, 1/2 blotter each. Save LSD for last due to his anger and violent tendencies.

MDMA tends to make people happy/at peace/relaxed/empathic. It will help him see and feel the world from your eyes. You may cry together. Cuddling is great.

Mushrooms tend to make people sedated/stoned/emotional/have epiphanies about their past or habits or behavior. You may cry together. Cuddling is great.

Finally LSD melts away your sense of reality, gives you a massive rush of energy and laser-sharp focus, and allows you to permanently change yourself.

All of this is illegal of course, and the LSD would especially be risky based on his emotional abuse and mental issues... But I think you should at least try steps one and two, along with talk therapy from yourself, and maybe have a friend of his that you trust tag along to give additional talk therapy (and protect you in case he loses it, which would be unlikely during steps 1/2)

You may also want 2-4 mushroom trips before moving to LSD, especially if the mushroom is helping him improve himself. Or disregard LSD altogether because it gets pretty crazy.

It won't be easy, but you seem stable and loving, and these chemicals will help you reach him and allow him to change himself, as well as have you both find and remember the reasons you fell in love to begin with.

Source: experienced tripper. Uses these substances to heal mental and emotional issues permanently.

[deleted] · 2017-01-05T05:48:05+00:00

and run for the hills even if it means living in a shelter and losing priceless possessions.

I can't pretend to trust him as my "captain" when he regularly threatens my life and the lives of my kids, or puts his hands on me, or cheats on me and looks for sympathy.

:|

What are you doing?

You knew what kind of response you were going to get here. Do you really not know why the situation is wrong?

The psychology is, mate guarding comes in many forms. Manipulation, codependency, abuse, etc., are common "low brow" ways of ensuring resource provision and sexual monogamy from at least one party. You use mental, physiological torture or spirituality to force them under your control. Eventually, you learn how to replace these coping mechanisms with healthier ones. You and your husband ... don't have to choose to live this way.

Can you please add more detail about what aspects of your relationship have made you stay this long, and who you want to save?

jayhobmx · 2017-01-04T07:30:16+00:00

It sounds like those bad decisions you made also included choosing this man to continue a relationship with. As /u/PantheraTigris95 said, you are still young and absolutely can handle challenges of single motherhood. First and foremost you need to be in charge of you and your kids' safety and it currently does not seem like a healthy environment. What would be your tipping point if you chose to stay with him? Would you forgive him if he actually physically hit your children? It isn't fair to them and would be more detrimental to stay in that situation than say, running far far away and being the strong mother you know you can be for them. It may not be comfortable for the next few years but they will not resent you later in life for pulling them out of a toxic situation. Best of luck OP, be strong.

Edit: spelling

[deleted] · 2017-01-05T06:05:12+00:00

It is impossible to be your best self when you are living with someone who threatens your most basic sense of well being on a daily basis. If you are worn out, anxious, and living in fear, your light will not shine-- no matter what you do. He is not worthy of the changes you are considering. One of the best Red Pill traits is being able to assess a situation, a mate, yourself with brutal honesty. You might not be ready for that, but your children surely are. If nothing else, do right by them and take them out of that situation.

Nyquil-Junkie · 2017-01-04T01:57:22+00:00

Read the sidebar and lift. Wait, sorry wrong pill bottle.

Title	Trying to grow into a rose in the concrete...advice?
Author	throwaway654329
Upvotes	10
Comments	10
Date	January 3, 2017 2:42 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/5ls8vt/trying_to_grow_into_a_rose_in_the_concreteadvice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/trying-to-grow-into-a-rose-in-the-concreteadvice.86800 https://theredarchive.com/post/86800

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