My wife and I have been married for 10 years. We met in college, and she has been my best friend for almost 14 years now. She is beautiful, supportive, kind, classy, and all around amazing as a wife.
We went through a really rough patch about a year ago, mostly due to issues on my end. However, she told me she was pregnant. I was overjoyed. She told me she would only keep it if I was 100% in on the baby and the marriage, I said I was fully committed, and we kept the baby.
As time went on, I became increasingly insecure about whether or not the baby was mine. I did the math and thought it was unlikely it was mine, on top of having a gut feeling. I was internally agonizing over this for months, and after the baby was born, I could barely even hold him because I was so convinced he wasn't mine.
I told my wife I wanted a paternity test. She was upset but told me to get one if it would ease my mind. The test comes back two weeks later and it says I am not the father.
I'm absolutely livid. I had an out of body experience. I stormed into our house and just let loose. I felt like I couldn't stop myself, I was completely broken in that moment. I cried and screamed and asked her what I did to deserve this. I absolutely never laid a hand on her.
The whole time, she's just sitting on the couch, trying to comfort the baby. This made me even angrier for some reason, so I kicked her out right then and there. Told her to pack her bags and just get out.
She calls me the next day and tells me that I deserve to know that the baby is mine, and asks me to get a paternity test from another company. I figure I have nothing to lose at this point, and another paternity test can only help me in a divorce, so we get one at the company she suggested, and I sent a third to another company, just to be sure.
I get the results from one and they say I am the baby's father. I wait a few days and don't say anything, then get the second set of results, also confirming I'm the father. I feel like the weight of the world has just been lifted off my shoulders and I can finally be the dad I want to be.
I call my wife to give her the good news and she tells me she's not moving back in. She says she's disgusted with how I acted by asking for a paternity test and my reaction to the false one. She tells me I can come see my son, but she will be filing for divorce.
I don't think my reaction was over the top for a man who thought he was being lied to about one of the most important things. I never showed any sort of violence and I was so emotionally broken at that point. I know how it must have looked to her, knowing that I was the father, but I don't think she's seeing it from my perspective. I'm planning on discussing it with her later and trying to convince her to work on it with me when I go see my son. AITA for reacting in this way to what I thought was an enormous deception?
[–]MrHolte 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
At the risk of creating a "men are wonderful" effect, sounds suspiciously like a feminist troll shit posting to me. Too perfect.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree.
[–]BRBallingall 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Did you even read the post? He clearly states that he is indeed the father after having two more paternity tests done proving that he is the father of that child.
[–]xNOM 6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
That's really weird. Usually false negatives are rare.
[–]Meyright2 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
You think someone would do this, lying on the internet?
[–]5th_Law_of_Robotics 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't think that would be allowed.
[–]mgtowolf 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
I wonder if reddit would be so hard on a wife who thought she had solid proof her husband was cheating, flipped out, then later found out she was wrong.
[–]perplexedm 3 points4 points5 points (16 children) | Copy Link
How did the initial DNA test fail? How can DNA test be different for paternity?
The whole story did not add up.
[–]14b755fe39 3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
no test is 100% true
[–]perplexedm 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
This is not a research test.
Then DNA tests used by authorities are not trust worthy anymore?
[–]14b755fe39 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
Are you questioning the existence false negative paternity tests? Go type 'false negative paternity tests' to a search engine and see for your self
No test including the one "authorities" use is infallible. DNA tests have led to false convictions.
[–]perplexedm 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Looks convincing.
DNA tests leading to false convictions is really a bad situation as people put lot of trust on such tests.
[–]mgtowolf 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
People like to view scientific tests as infallible for some reason, too much CSI or something.
[–]perplexedm -1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
Scientific tests done through proper scientific process are infallible though.
[–]mgtowolf 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
I am gonna take a wild guess and say you are not in a science field? Please say no.
[–]perplexedm -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm leaving this here and don't have much to discuss.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientific_method
DNA-iterations
After considerable fruitless experimentation, being discouraged by their superior from continuing, and numerous false starts, Watson and Crick were able to infer the essential structure of DNA by concrete modeling of the physical shapes of the nucleotides which comprise it. They were guided by the bond lengths which had been deduced by Linus Pauling and by Rosalind Franklin's X-ray diffraction images
[–]vkuhr -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
Two words: laboratory. error. It's a possibility with any test.
It happens; even routine googling will confirm this.
[–]perplexedm 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Such a costly mistake though.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
I personally dont know the technicalities, but I know that they can fail. There is a 2% chance IIRC.
https://www.l2law.com/blog/2017/03/4-ways-paternity-test-results-can-be-wrong.shtml
Which idiots have downvoted me?
[–]perplexedm -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
Then DNA tests used by authorities are not trust worthy anymore?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
Nope.
https://www.l2law.com/blog/2017/03/4-ways-paternity-test-results-can-be-wrong.shtml
[–]perplexedm -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
Who can tamper test in this case ?
Extreme rare circumstances, testing int the same lab again can negate this?
Don't think this is relatable with the case in discussion.
Only complicate the results, but extremely rare chance.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, rare circumstances which happened here. And IIRC He said they took test from different companies (Not sure here), which means different Labs. And even then, man-made errors in the lab can always occur (a hair getting into the tube etc.). They occur rarely, thats why the other tests came back negative.
[–]14b755fe39 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
TBH, I would consider the husband as the asshole, He kicked out his wife because of a false lab report, first thing he should have done is calmly ask his wife if this was possible, and when the wife requested another one all would have ended without incident.
The husband acted prematurely, and should apologize.
[–]namikazeyodai 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
the second paternity test could be the fake one, not the first.
The wife suggested the another company?
[–]vkuhr 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
He had three tests, one from a second company of his choice, which also said he was the father.