I've had really low self esteem most my life. I got diagnosed with major depressive disorder a couple years ago not sure if that's relevent but I get so fucking depressed because I generally feel like shit about myself.

I swear I'm the butt of every joke that comes out of my friends point to the point where I'm legit feeling disrespected by everyone. I don't know what I do to be "that guy" but it brings me down so goddamn much.

I feel as though no one respects me and I don't blame them. I lack any confidence whatsover to even stand up for myself or back myself up. I feel like it'll resort to me whooping someone's ass soon and I really don't want that.

How can I stop letting other people bring me down like this? How can I change my mind, my thinking, and my overall persona in people's eyes. I seriously don't know what to do. I spend most my days and most my nights sitting there dwelling about my failures, how people treat me and how much I'm nothing.

The worst part is I know it's not true and it's my own self esteem that's holding me back and being great. I just don't know how to change it. I don't know what to do. I can't take it anymore. It's driving me absolutely insane.