At every job I have worked at, I have never really been social with coworkers. I've always just been too shy around them or I would convince myself that my usual sexual humor self would offend coworkers. I have always just more or less kept my mouth shut and did the work required of me. At my current job (9 months of working there), I can visibly see how much my coworkers dislike working with me; they don't hate me but they would definitely prefer to not have the same shift as me.

I may be wrong but I think my shyness stems from:

  • Putting this job on a pedestal

  • I don't have many options for a career so I'm trying hard to filter myself around my coworkers, which ends up being counterproductive because now, they just think I'm boring and shy

  • In other words, I don't have an abundance mentality in terms of careers/jobs

  • Getting yelled at work for fucking up and taking it to heart

  • At my workplace, you generally need to be more social and talkative

It's strange because outside of work, I am extremely social, talkative, and can easily create fun at a social event. I am a lot more carefree and just say the first things that come to mind, which often makes fun sexual conversations.