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Why I Want to be a Housewife (This is truly amazing)

Aldebaran333

September 3, 2017

11 upvotes

/r/MensRights

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Title	Why I Want to be a Housewife (This is truly amazing)
Author	Aldebaran333
Upvotes	11
Comments	18
Date	September 3, 2017 1:30 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/6xqdrm/why_i_want_to_be_a_housewife_this_is_truly_amazing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-i-want-to-be-a-housewife-this-is-truly-amazing.914885 https://theredarchive.com/post/914885

Comments

[–]lily-mae 19 points20 points21 points 8 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

I have some pretty strong views on this issue.. which tend to get me a lot of grief from men and women alike. But here goes.

I think it's vitally important for young children to have -a parent- (male or female) at home with -and for- them in their formative years.. ages birth-5yo (school starting age).

And I think this whole trend toward universal disapproval of 'housewives' for being 'unproductive', pressuring women (and men) to leave their infants and small kids in the hands of strangers all day is ultimately bad not only for the children but the parents as well, not the least in terms of issues like bonding between parents and children.

I'm not talking about lazy arseholes sitting on their backsides all day eating chocolates while the kids run feral.. though let's acknowledge that they of course happen.

Here, I mean parents who spend all day every day actively parenting and doing chores -- in which kids (I think) should be taught to participate in a child-relevant way, to give them an early grounding in the notion of responsibility for themselves and others.

As a woman, I have no problem AT ALL with a 'traditional' arrangement of dad going to work and mum staying home with the littlies. This is exactly what I did... covering my end of the financial responsibilities in those early years by working from home several evenings a week (after kiddo's bedtime), which paid our bills and food expenses. It was my 'job', besides, to cover 90% of the household chores, which I did happily and well. I learned to ignore the bullshit I got for choosing this path.

Yeah, it was hard without two full time incomes. But I'd rather take a hit financially than let my child be raised by randoms.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]lily-mae 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]William__F0ster 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I think it's vitally important for young children to have -a parent- (male or female) at home with -and for- them in their formative years.. ages birth-5yo (school starting age).

I would add that it's also an arrangement that seems to be eminently practical, certainly judging by people I know personally or at least know of.

So yes, it's anecdotal but even so: I know of two lesbian couples with children both of whom made the decision that one of them would stay home to raise the children and take care of domestic affairs - which includes by the way dealing with managing the finances bills, taxes, etc. - while the other devotes all their time to paid employment.

And I know of four couples where because the woman was a higher earner than the man, it was the man who opted to go part-time and freelance so that they could pull in a bit of extra cash while also being the main caregiver and homemaker. There was neither shame nor pride in this decision - because it was quite straightforwardly a practical decision made on what resources they had available to them for the best way to look after their kids.

I also know of one working couple where both parents went onto part-time contracts - him for 4 days a week, her for 3 days a week - meaning that they only needed a nursery 1 day a week but the rest of the time the kids had a parent on hand.

I'm just basically trying to say that what is often nowadays attributed to a lingering toxic masculinity and a sexist culture that demands 'womenfolk' stay at home is absolutely nothing of the kind and actually simply a sensible solution to a practical problem made by responsible and devoted parents - of whatever gender or sexual orientation.

(Not only that but it's a fantastical and ignorant interpretation of history to think that the majority of households for most of the industrial era weren't places where both parents worked. Many married women with children continued working right up to the 1940s. It was only in the post-war boom in the West that was even possible for most working and middle class parents to afford to have the wife at home full-time while the husband was in work).

[–]lily-mae 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm just basically trying to say that what is often nowadays attributed to a lingering toxic masculinity and a sexist culture that demands 'womenfolk' stay at home is absolutely nothing of the kind and actually simply a sensible solution to a practical problem made by responsible and devoted parents - of whatever gender or sexual orientation.

Some of the biggest criticism I got was actually from men.. some of whom loathe the idea of women 'getting a free ride' while raising small kids. Not to come across as a raging bra-burner here -- but I don't think any of them actually have a clue what's involved in being a proper 'housewife' who actively parents children all day, on top of keeping a clean, orderly home in which everyone is fed and tended to, as economically as possible.

No it aint rocket science .. and that's the only real downside to the experience, imo (as I didn't weep too much about the dip in income).. an intelligent, capable and ambitious woman can really get a little stir crazy with the company of little kids and mentally unchallenging (however enjoyable) tasks all day. Plus, you're less employable after 5 years or so off regular full time work.

That said, it is sure as shit NOT 'the hardest job in the world' as per Oprah and her weepy vagged fans... but it is an essential one that needs to be supported by society at large once more, for the good of all our kids and their futures.

[–]William__F0ster 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Some of the biggest criticism I got was actually from men.. some of whom loathe the idea of women 'getting a free ride' while raising small kids.

Were these men or teenage boys? That has to be one of the most ignorant and dumbest arguments I think I've ever heard.

Not to come across as a raging bra-burner here

Given the content of your original post it seems highly improbable that anyone (who is not one of the aforementioned dimwits/teenage boys) would think you were a bra-burner, much less a raging one.

I don't think any of them actually have a clue what's involved in being a proper 'housewife'

I think if you'd stopped at 'clue' it would have worked just as well if not better(!).

But no, they clearly don't. And the management of finances from energy bills to pension provision and etc. is quite a big part of it in many cases if for no other reason than it allows the one at work to focus on work more fully than on both work and domestic spheres. It doesn't always work like that, no, but it is one of the arrangements.

No it aint rocket science ... an intelligent, capable and ambitious woman can really get a little stir crazy with the company of little kids .... it is sure as shit NOT 'the hardest job in the world'

As to those points, I cannot say. But I've always assumed the 'play date' idea has as much to do with giving parents a chance to meet other adults as it has to do with socialising kids with other kids.

Besides, unless the woman in question is popping out kids every couple of years, the few years before they go to school whizz by in a blink or you'll miss it way and after that (or even before) part-time work is available.

you're less employable after 5 years or so

I think that may be only partly true these days - if a refresher/retraining course is available that can often get someone up to speed. Ditto, if the profession allows for freelance part-time work that's often a good way to ease back into work.

Certain professions will be a challenge to get back into, sure, but there's a lot you can (one of my cousins is a high school science teacher who took 5 years off to raise her two boys before they started school and she managed to slip right back into work after basically only one summer's refresher course followed by a temporary contract and then she was made permanent again).

[–]mwobuddy 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Aldebaran333[S] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]lily-mae 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[+]RunsInJeans1 points 8 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah, that's where I believe feminism went off the rails. Feminism should have embraced the traditional role of women and it's importance to society, (regardless of whether it is provided by a man or woman) while at the same time trying to open doors and take down barriers etc.

[–]lily-mae 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Aldebaran333[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]lily-mae 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Aldebaran333[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]lily-mae -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]mikesteane 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]lily-mae 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link