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Male rape: Men 'forced into sex with threats, lies and blackmail' by women, survey finds

rbrockway

July 30, 2017
235 upvotes
/r/MensRights
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/male-rape-survey-threats-blackmail-lies-lying-compelled-penetrate-rumours-sexual-violence-a7867121.html?cmpid=facebook-post
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Post Information
Title Male rape: Men 'forced into sex with threats, lies and blackmail' by women, survey finds
Author

rbrockway

Upvotes 235
Comments 19
Date July 30, 2017 4:17 PM UTC
(8 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/6qi74p/male_rape_men_forced_into_sex_with_threats_lies/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/male-rape-men-forced-into-sex-with-threats-lies.916850
https://theredarchive.com/post/916850
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Comments

[–]bortalizer93 33 points34 points35 points 8 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

I have a fairly low libido.

There was a time i'm in a relationship where my partner low-key threatening to have an affair with another guy if i can't sate her lust, even though we both agreed to be exclusive.

If women who are emotionally coerced to do sexual acts are rape victim, i don't understand why i'm not.

[+]Pyrokuda1 points 8 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

😞 sorry this happened to you brother. Counseling? It helped me.

[–]bortalizer93 8 points9 points10 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

no, actually i'm fine!

see, when you held little regards to the subject of a threat, the treat itself becomes moot. well, for me it happened after quite a while and a fuckton of toilet thoughts.

overtime, i learned not to blame her or paint her as the worst woman possible and that i deserve someone better (i don't really like the term "someone better" itself). in the end, i realized that the two of us have different needs and we might need to go our own separate ways.

it was not her fault that i was insecure and too afraid to be alone back then, and i shouldn't force other people to cater to my insecurity either.

i personally think that empowerment in this case and in its essence, for both men and women, would not come from a bill about definition of rape or proposed judicial action regarding of what we might perceive as rape. it would and should come from our own ability to take the rein of our own mind.

so looking back, i don't saw it as a rape anymore.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

That's a very mature viewpoint, something I would like to see more often (on both sides).

[–]bortalizer93 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It's really hard to be mature when you're given the platform to whine and are encouraged to do so.

(This, of course, does not include legit rape victim who actually have no choice other than to comply with the agressor)

[–]redditguy648 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You went in a completely different direction than I thought from your first post but good for you, I think that is exactly the reaction and perspective that is called for.

[–]mwobuddy 2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

There was a time i'm in a relationship where my partner low-key threatening to have an affair with another guy if i can't sate her lust, even though we both agreed to be exclusive. If women who are emotionally coerced to do sexual acts are rape victim, i don't understand why i'm not.

Then why are you worried about the relationship breaking up? Its clearly two people with different needs. Jesus, you're so like a woman.

I could satisfy her demented penis-lust all the time. Sometimes being in a relationship means doing things you're not really interested in. Watching a shitty girly movie, fucking her when you'd rather be sleeping, and so on.

Having a pity party for yourself over not investing in your relationship is the most woman thing you can do.

[–]bortalizer93 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

exactly! i don't.

this comment is not really a pity party, it's begging the question of equal treatment for both gender under what essentially is a same circumstance.

using that logic, you could say the same thing to the women who claimed they've been raped by forcing them into consent by emotional threats. "oh but ma'am, sometimes being in a relationship means doing things you're not really interested in. Watching a shitty war movie (dunkirk cames to mind), fucking him when you'd rather be sleeping and so on."

i personally would love to see the following fiasco that would follow that statement.

[–]mwobuddy 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I see. Well done.

[–]Larry-Man 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

When you acknowledge that rape isn't being held face down you recognize that most female rapists can't rely on brute force but if rapists wanna rape they will.

[–]thrway_1000 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

https://web.archive.org/web/20170731140957/http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/male-rape-survey-threats-blackmail-lies-lying-compelled-penetrate-rumours-sexual-violence-a7867121.html

[+]redditguy648 -46 points-45 points-44 points 8 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

This is a men's rights sub. We aren't here to talk about male issues or male emotional empowerment, we are here to talk about male rights. Being an adult means you take responsibility for your actions and if you don't like what the arrangement is making you do, you have the right to leave. Unless there is some legal issue here with men being treated either inequitably or unjustly I don't see how this is for this sub. This article only tangentially touched on rape, and admitted that emotional manipulation isn't illegal. I really don't see it as an issue for this sub and am not about to jump on the bandwagon of making emotional manipulation a legal issue.

[–]DevilishRogue 23 points24 points25 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Unless there is some legal issue here with men being treated either inequitably or unjustly I don't see how this is for this sub.

Not sure if you are trolling or not, but blackmail is treated very differently depending on the gender of the perp and the victim, particularly sexual blackmail. Social attitudes as well as the legal system in practice make rights very different for the sexes.

[–]redditguy648 -4 points-3 points-2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The article didn't make that point or it was tenuous at best. Blackmail is illegal and any difference in the legal treatment between men and women is a legitimate issue for this sub although let's be fair the reputation for sending dick pics doesn't do good things for the public perception that men can be sexually blackmailed.

The article seemed more focused on emotional abuse and lumped it in with blackmail and to a lesser degree rape when there is a big difference. I think the article wanted to make the point that men are victims of emotional abuse that is channeled into sexual exploitation but decided to use rape and blackmail to make it seem as if emotional abuse is on the same level. While men may need emotional support to be able to stand up for themselves it is not a men's rights issue and legal protection for emotional abuse is a massive can of worms that I don't want to open.

[–]rocelot7 6 points7 points8 points 8 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

It may not be rape in the legal sense, but continual coercion of a partner to gain sex is IPV. And the lack of support programs and organizations of male victims is sorely lacking. If you disagree with the terminology, that's fair. Dismissing the issue, and those affected by it, is neither convincing nor respectful.

[–]mwobuddy -3 points-2 points-1 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Coercion into sex is considered rape you dunce. And yet I sTILL agree with redditguy.

[–]redwinemamatreefrog 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

What an awful thing to say. If a man is raped by a woman it is a legal issue. Encouraging men to speak freely about it and report it so the women out there doing this can be charged should definitely be a concern of this sub. The article said 80% of the men surveyed had not even told family or friends about what happened and many of them were dating the person who raped them. Having rape of a man by a woman be taken seriously by law enforcement should be a goal of anyone who wants equal rights. Speaking about it is the first step. It's a shame you likely discouraged anyone who has an experience with being forced to penetrate from opening up about it here because clearly it's not a safe environment to do so. I get this isn't a support group but it is a men's issue.

[–]redditguy648 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

The article was focused on emotional abuse not rape. It lumped blackmail in with emotional abuse but didn't emphasize the difference in treatment by law enforcement for men vs women. There is a big line between rape, blackmail, and emotional abuse. You yourself said this is not a support group. Women have two X chromosomes for that if we need something then so be it. Emotional abuse while a male issue is not a male rights issue and I personally don't want to get law enforcement involved over some girl threatening to break up with a guy or cheat on him if he doesn't sexually satisfy her.

[–]rbrockway[S] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

We aren't here to talk about male issues or male emotional empowerment, we are here to talk about male rights

We often talk about men's issues. I was one of the organisers of the recent Men's Rights Conference held in Australia. It's called the International Conference on Men's Issues. All ICMIs are organised and run by MRAs.

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