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Christie Blatchford: Family court advice for men, from one who’s made it through

Ted8367

March 31, 2017
21 upvotes
/r/MensRights
http://news.nationalpost.com/full-comment/christie-blatchford-family-court-advice-for-men-from-one-whos-made-it-through
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Title Christie Blatchford: Family court advice for men, from one who’s made it through
Author

Ted8367

Upvotes 21
Comments 5
Date March 31, 2017 3:11 AM UTC
(9 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/62isvw/christie_blatchford_family_court_advice_for_men/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/christie-blatchford-family-court-advice-for-men.927323
https://theredarchive.com/post/927323
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Comments

[–]Dis_mah_mobile_one 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I like that this article is finally acknowledging the immoral racket that is the family court system. However, I have better advice than it:

1) Don't get married.

2) have children via surrogacy. Cheaper in the long run and they can't be stolen from you.

3) Keep money offshore or saved and always be prepared to burn everything to the ground and leave.

Family courts are evil. They are designed to suck as many resources from men as possible so that the state doesn't have to pay directly for the costs of the breakdown of the nuclear family. They won't ever reform willingly so they must be starved out.

[–]thrway_1000 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

https://archive.is/sDY28

[–]Halafax 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Beyond pointing out that the system is unfair, this article is pointless. "Just accept whatever you get" isn't useful advice.

[–]Ted8367[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

pointless

If you find yourself in this situation, then you are up against a vastly more powerful opponent which has all the advantages, with minimal constraints on its behavior, and which does not have your interests, nor those of your family, at heart.

The point is: how best to proceed? The man in the article has difficult advice for difficult circumstances.

[–]Halafax 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't think "you're going to lose, just go with it" adds any value. It's not "difficult advice", it's simply bad.

Actual useful advice: preparing and filing first is an advantage. Having time to document your parental responsibilities when you aren't under stress makes a huge difference. You can also make changes if you don't think you "look good on paper" in that respect.

Other good advice: therapy can help. If you describe your partner's behavior to a professional, they might have insight you lack. My ex was displaying classic symptoms of borderline personality disorder. I didn't understand that, nor did my lawyer nor the guardian ad litem. Lawyers lawyer, they aren't interested in psychological stuff unless you bring documentation to them.

Other advice: guys want to "put it behind them" and often end up leaving too much on the table to get things over with. Lawyers rarely discourage this, they side with the court (who just want you off the docket). In general, lawyers won't tell you what you don't ask. Impossible to enforce rules in a final decree? They just nod, they don't care.

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