This is known to most, But: Women who Confide in a female best friend during a rough patch in a relationship are more likely to breakup. Girlfriends are a woman's worst enemy when it comes to romance.

bertreapot · 2016-12-08T02:36:07+00:00

I think a lot of females decide being a "strong, independent woman" means shitting on men. So when a girl is having relationship problems, and she goes to her friends for support, these "strong, independent women" tell the girl her BF is a loser and she should shit-can him.

This is what happened to me with my first serious girlfriend. She took a lot of horrible advice from her closest friend. I had no idea about half the problems my girlfriend had, she would just go to her friend, and her friend would trash me. So, inevitably she dumped me.

It was only a long time after the breakup that I learned my ex had gotten most of her advice from this friend, and she tried blaming it all on her. I had no idea that the friend had given all this toxic advice while we were dating, naturally, as the friend always acted friendly and normal to me.

rg57 · 2016-12-08T06:31:46+00:00

Not just girlfriends. Gay guys too. If you come to women with a relationship problem, they tend to advocate trying to trade up to something better.

2016-12-07T21:00:08+00:00

The Whispers

Women are hard wired to wonder if they aren’t missing out on something. Could they find a better man? Do they have enough money, the right clothes and shoes? Are they being treated well enough by their husbands, and at their job? I think this pretty neatly fits with the concept of hypergamy, and it does serve a biological purpose. Women need to make sure they choose the best mate possible, and that they have the status and means to care for the child.

But constantly wondering if what you have is enough isn’t always a virtue; in the wrong context (most of modern life) it is a prescription for unhappiness. Not just their unhappiness, but that of their family, especially their children. A sane culture would curb the dangerous part of this tendency. It would caution women of the danger of never being happy, as the Brothers Grimm tale The Fisherman’s Wife does (post pending).

But then again we don’t live in a sane culture, we live in a feminist culture. Feminism’s founding motto is “I never get to have any fun!” Instead of curbing the worst instincts of women, our culture instead amplifies them.

Here’s an experiment you can try on your own. Find a five year old, and ask them why did all of your friends get ice cream today and you didn’t? or why are all of their toys better than yours? Find a bunch of toys they don’t have which look like they would be really great to play with. Then ask them why their parents don’t love them enough to buy them for them. For best results, taunt them relentlessly every day. Wake them up in the middle of the night and ask why their classmates get to sleep in a more comfortable bed than they do. At breakfast ask them if they think their classmates are eating better food right now. Find new and interesting things they should feel slighted about. Try this for say, 30 years.

Now test and see if they are happy.

ExpendableOne · 2016-12-08T16:12:55+00:00

Have you ever seen women's advice columns or gynocentric subs like twoXC? All men are always wrong, no matter what, and all men are always the enemy and considered serial killers/rapists by default. Anything that can be misconstrued or misinterpreted, will be. Anything that can be twisted or maligned, will be. Every doubt, insecurity or irrational fear will be instantiated and validated. Every whim and preference will be echoed back. Every request for affirmation will be met. Every privilege, prejudice and entitlement will be reiterated and validated. Any aspect of personal accountability and responsibility will be instantly dismissed or removed. It's kind of pathetic but we still live in this "chicks before dicks" culture where women, even complete strangers, feel the need to stick together against men as a gender because of gender. It is absolutely sexism and misandry, but it is prevalent.

Even the slightest been of complication devolves into this "dumb him, cut off all contact and threaten him with allegations if he tries to contact you"(even when that is literally the most impractical, destructive, immature or unhealthy of advice, which can often also results in far more problems, for everyone, than it solves) advice. Women will generally give other women the most anti-social, sociopathic type of advice, with little to no regard for the relationship or the man affected by these advices, because they live in a world where women will always be right and will always get away with it(while the same advice would be social, romantic and/or legal suicide for most men).

What's even more frustrating, if not disturbing, is how common it is for women to involve friends when dealing with personal decisions, at least compared to men. Friends are not experts, no matter how smart or knowledgeable you think they are. Friends will never really have all the facts. Friends have their own biases and prejudices. Friends will often echo the same bad advice/ideas you have about relationship, because they are your friends(and, if they didn't, there's a good chance they wouldn't be your friends either; further reinforcing the cycle of confirmation bias). "I think X and my friend agrees" is not a valid argument. There's a reason why you don't put your best friend as a reference on a resume.

Most importantly, if you are an adult, you should be able to make personal decisions, and explore these problems, on your own. That's what adults do. They gather information, fact check and then the best decision they can make on their own. As an adult, you should be able to identify what information should remain private or which people in your life might be biased or likely to just repeat whatever it is you want them to.

zfighter18 · 2016-12-08T19:20:56+00:00

Tell me this: why do women call platonic female friends "girlfriends"? Wouldn't they just be "friends"?

It's really odd:

Woman's female friends = girlfriends
Woman's male friends = friends
Man's friends (male or female) = friends

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