My mother taught me never to depend on a man, and that failed me

fengpi · 2016-11-30T01:07:09+00:00

Because accepting his help would be like admitting defeat.

Oh defeat. Defeat. And if she were to admit defeat, it would have resulted in her... destruction? Her humiliation? A fate worse than death? Who knows what unspeakable harm could have befallen her had she admitted "defeat"!

Remind me again... which ideology out there works hard to portray and interpret all facets of male-female interaction as a form of class-struggle? As a kind of conflict? As an adversarial kind of thing, where one sex is presumed guilty and the other one infantilized as a perpetual victim? An ideology that doesn't really emphasize men and women solving problems and working together and there being such a thing as inter-dependence, but instead cultivates a kind of grievance-based animus in which someone must agitate about- or against- some evil ("male") thing more or less continuously?

Which one is it? I forget.

TibsKirk · 2016-11-30T01:42:37+00:00

It amazes me how some of the children of the second wave actually have to discover that marriage can be a partnership of mutual self-sacrifice. And that loving fathers are valuable people in this world.

BDMR_lurker · 2016-11-30T10:26:17+00:00

"Never depend on a man." (Because they will only let you down).

Great lesson. Now young men are learning "never open yourself to a woman because she will stab you in the back".

No way this can go wrong.

Months made a great deal worse for not letting myself depend on my husband for all of the other, vital help he was offering.

Yeah, her suffering is real. On the other hand, she sounds like she cut her husband off his child's early month, but then again, he's just a man, so who cares?

Now, I realise we must learn dependence to understand independence.

Actually, she realises jack shit. Independence is not requiring external help. Being able to do all the stuff yourself doesn't mean you don't share the load.

.

As a sidenote, on describing her mother:

She was an affirmative action officer in the mining sector and stripped nudie-calendars from the tea-rooms of far-flung coal pits. [...] Equality was at the heart of my mum's philosophy, not female supremacy.

Yeah. Right. I don't think the author has yet achieved the critical stance one's supposed to reach by age 16.

Twoezy · 2016-11-30T00:32:36+00:00

I'm so shocked that the news in here (Melbourne, Australia) is putting this kind of thing out now given their history. I feel the article perfectly demonstrates just how harmful the stereotyping of men can harm everyone in a family.

2016-11-30T00:58:52+00:00

Scary Independent Women?

When someone claims to be “an ‘independent woman’ who desires ‘to get married and have babies,'” it places husband and children in the category of wants instead of needs–they become mere consumer goods. Most men need to be a more significant part of a marriage. This need puts men in an impossible dilemma if they want to marry an independent woman: to either be a mere accessory she’d like to have around or to put her in a position where she makes herself less than she is–to make her put on a show of needing him even though she really doesn’t. Neither of these options are good, and a man is wise to avoid the dilemma.

DavidByron2 · 2016-11-30T05:12:35+00:00

Feminists complains that her bigotry in alienating her husband from his own child hurt her too.

aesopstortoise · 2016-11-30T15:39:52+00:00

From the article,

"I won't say that feminism is wrong because it absolutely isn't. I won't say my feminist mother is wrong because she absolutely isn't."

Not the brightest is she?

thrway_1000 · 2016-11-30T00:53:26+00:00

https://archive.is/87QNe

feedmecarrots · 2016-11-30T07:09:07+00:00

Feminism denies that women NEED men. It is a little more than depend on.

Title	My mother taught me never to depend on a man, and that failed me
Author	Twoezy
Upvotes	9
Comments	12
Date	November 30, 2016 12:23 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/5fmdrx/my_mother_taught_me_never_to_depend_on_a_man_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/my-mother-taught-me-never-to-depend-on-a-man-and.936697 https://theredarchive.com/post/936697

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