How to manage expectations?

SkimSTi · 2017-08-01T22:43:10+00:00

like you said, the only way to get what you want out of these situations, is to be direct. she won't be able to read your mind, and if you expect her to "learn" based off rewards/punishment, you will be disappointed when they still aren't meeting your expectations. you can't be silent about it and expect people to know what you want/like.

you will never be happy with covert contracts.

SkorchZang · 2017-08-01T23:41:41+00:00

For things like what she should wear, knock yourself out, be her drill sergeant. Very direct, shamelessly order her to do what you want her to do. She'll only love you more for it.

It's other things, like how she should be acting and what you expect her to not do with her GFs, for example, that are more troublesome. If you just lay it out, it won't do much good. Requirements that are set in stone are easy for a woman to avoid or hamster around. If you want it a little more effective, try expressing only the general gist of what you expect to her, and acting like "she's supposed to know what's right by you" thereafter. In other words, you burden her own guilt and shame with the job of making her act right. In the end it all depends on fear that you will abandon your commitments to her, she will never just "naturally" not want to do those things, but you can be somewhat effective if she polices herself for you out of the fear that you'll walk if you think she did wrong.

break1ngbard · 2017-08-01T22:31:53+00:00

You make your expectations known by holding and maintaining a frame that forces her to align with your energy. Plates should be self spinning. If you are putting in effort that should be dropped.

RedSkeller · 2017-08-02T01:10:25+00:00

Positive reinforcement. If you go nuts for a thong she wears and tell her to do more of that, she will love you for it. They want you in control and leading them at all times.

oldredder · 2017-08-02T06:48:19+00:00

You don't need to make your expectations known.

If a woman fails to meet adequate standards she's not gonna improve because you want it. She might not improve even if she wants it. Odds are she will fail permanently at any of the things she's not good at. If you are talking about small things just give it a chance and speak your mind plainly and politely.

Punishing a girl for what you don't like can turn into her punishing you too and if you get a vindictive girl you can get shit going sideways fast. Don't punish her. Just cut her off, out of your life/time for a while as relates to how bad the thing is she's done but remember she could just drop you for good and pick up some other guy when you do that.

Title	How to manage expectations?
Author	SaxonWarChief
Upvotes	5
Comments	5
Date	August 1, 2017 10:21 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6qzs97/how_to_manage_expectations/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-manage-expectations.95100 https://theredarchive.com/post/95100

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