You may hear people say things like, "Feminism is helping men too, we've actually helped male victims of abuse" plain and simple, this was not true at all for me.

I had been with my ex for almost two years when the abuse started. Only a month into our relationship, my brother had committed suicide. This destroyed my family and put them out of commission, and who was there for me? My ex all the way.

But let's fast forward to around last October/November. Before she had gone to college (I would like to clarify that I'm a year older, so I already had my freshman year, but I was with her) we never had these types of issues. We usually got along incredible. But once she started college, she really changed.

I am in Greek life, but I will unabashedly say that sorority culture really pushes women to hate relationships and generally just turn them cruel/elitist. Because once she started pledging a sorority, she became SO heavily verbally abusive.

After my brother died, I ate away a lot of my feelings and gained 30lbs. She would constantly call me names, she would grab at my stomach and make a disgusted face. She would also say things like

"Look at me, I could fuck anybody here if I wanted to. Be grateful you have me."

And honestly? At the time I was. One, because I mean I had gotten so out of shape that dating a woman that looked like her seemed "perfect", and two, because she was all I had. She knew how to manipulate me to a T, the amount of times she brought up how she helped me was disgusting.

Oh and before I go on, I would like to clarify that her college wasn't too far away, so I would visit every weekend.

During her first semester, she just got meaner and meaner towards me. Finally, it hit a boiling point on Halloween. Earlier that day, we got into a small argument over finishing our costumes, which led to her slapping me across the face for the first time ever. For some reason, the slap disk register what that meant for our relationship, and I actually brushed it off.

Then came that night. The college she goes to has a LOT of students, so we missed the bus to get to the party, and what happened as we were at the bus stop was what caused the whole fight.

Now please, I'm not making this up, I sincerely wish I was because it would make the situation much less crazy. So as we were sitting there, a guy walked by us and said

"Hey girl".

She rightfully didn't answer so he responded

"Whatever, you're ugly anyway." And walked away

I immediately said, "who the fuck is that guy calling you ugly?"

And instead of being pissed about what he said, she looked at me with a confused look and said, "Um, he called YOU ugly."

I told her that that didn't make sense, but she couldn't imagine someone calling her ugly, so she just walked away, back to her dorm.

Now once we got back, she had this look in her eyes, and before I even got settled into the room, she just attacked me. She pushed me against her friend's bed (this was when I started recording), clawing at me, kicking me, and punching me. I pushed her away, which prompted her to grab a pair of scissors and slashed at my neck. Looking back I see how insane it was, she had tried to fucking kill me, but that didn't register in my mind.

I was able to wrestle the scissors away, and then I tried to leave. She pushed herself in between the door and I, and tried to start kissing me. I told her to stop but she said that she was so sorry and wanted to make it up to me, so I gave in and had sex with her. I would like to point out, that if that exact situation at the end happened with roles reversed, that would be seen as coercion, but the people I tried to tell just told me that I was stupid for giving in.

From there on out, she was much more casual with the abuse. She would berate me more, she would hit me in front of her friends (who didn't say a word), and tried to get more power over me. Hell, she asked if we could have a three way with one of her guy friends, and when I said no, she hit me.

"Thankfully" at the start of December, I found out that she was regularly having sex with another guy. I took this opportunity to get out of there.

I won't talk about the video or the overall aftermath because you can see that in my other post. But I would like to say that as a man who always abused, nobody wanted to help me. I had no place to turn to because she had isolated me. Her friends saw everything that happened, but didn't say anything. Once I transferred to her school, her friends spread rumors about me. I thought rumors really only mattered in high school, but that's a damn lie.

And at the end of this whole story, I was the one who got suspended from school. So no, in terms of how they're treated after being abused, men are NOT equal.