I have been in a steady relationship with a girl for about 3 months. During the start of the relationship I seen some red flags - mainly the past with her ex who she says mistreated her. (He flirted with her friends via text, wasn’t loyal etc. although she says she is not sure if he ever actually cheated on her)

I see a lot of good in her too though. She is close to her family and loving/caring. But I feel like I am going crazy , is this what love feels like?

During the start of the relationship we had a major fallout. She posted a really flirty video with her hands touching another boy in nightclub. I was friends with this boy’s best friend and after seeing the video I was really sure that she cheated. I was somewhat friends with this guy’s best friend = so I asked my friend did anything happen between them and he said he didn’t know and would let me speak directly to his friend. His friend was super honest so it seems and said that yes they did kiss. She claims he is lying to try to come between us?

She had this video up on her snapchat story and when I see it was annoyed a. I screenshotted it and she deleted the video the morning straight away. i didn’t text her back the next morning when she texted me and she texted me after "Have I done something wrong?" . I spent a full day basically arguing with her over this . I asked her why did she remove the video and who that guy was. She said it was her friend. She then lied to me multiple times. She first said she took the video down because she looked ugly in it, then that she had too many snaps up in her story, then that she actually took it down because i screenshotted it. Later on (like a month later) she told me she took it down because she knew it looked guilty. A t this point i was done. I had been meeting this girl now for about a month at this stage and met her parents etc. so i was honestly hurt and done. She pleaded and pleaded for me to come back and said she did not kiss him and he is making this up. At which point i questioned why did she remove the video of him and her that she had posted then ? She sais finally that the real reason that she deleted it was because i had screenshotted it.

Eventually She also reminded me about a previous night out where i was with her and this same guy kept trying to hit on her when i was dancing with her.

She told me she just thought of him as a friend and that she sees him in college and talks to him casually. She said she has "no interest in him. Part of me believes this; that he wants her and she does not want him. I took a screen shot of the video and showed it to my sister and she claimed that it wasn’t that bad and that it was no big deal. She showed it to my mother and she said the same.

All in all, after that whole situation i decided to go with the story that he hit on her and she posted a video but she did not kiss him and he is lying. Mainly because at this point i was in love. She told me later on that he would not speak to her at college and wouldn’t make eye contact and that he tried to talk to her later on another night out and she ignored him. Whether or not she did kiss him I was genuinely hurt and she has apologized really sincerely to me multiple times t and saying that it wont happen again and it hasn’t. At this point still I felt like i was more in love with her than vice versa. however I got over this. A few weeks later and everything is going great again so I ask her to go steady and he said yes of course. I believed her that she was telling the truth about the whole situation. Or otherwise i wouldn’t have asked.

Things generally have went really up and down since that. One time on a night out she was meeting a decent friend of mine who is super jacked and hot and French, the ladies love him honestly. for the first time. When they met she seemed kind of touchy feely with him and smiling etc. Now i don’t want to sound jealous and insecure but i was slightly uncomfortable. Afterwards my friend came to me and said the same thing, "your girlfriend touched me a little closely" and said he was slightly uncomfortable. I really felt like dumping her again at this point honestly i would not have put up with this from anyone else. But then when I asked her about it she said "he came up to me" and basically just got annoyed that I was annoyed. I was thinking after though, she touched my friend on his side and he hugged her, is that really something i should get annoyed about? When meeting my friends i don’t expect her to be afraid to make any physical contact with them and maybe i was just being possessive. My fiend also wants me to break up with her because for a while before this I’ve been blowing him off and not going out with him because I’m with her instead. ?

Again I’m not sure how to actually perceive this scenario.

She seems open and doesn’t get jealous when i do the same behavior with her friends. When I think about it I have hugged her friends in front of her etc. and she doesn’t care. This is my first committed relationship and maybe I am actually being jealous and over protective?

I feel like she triangulates often with me? The video, and other times. She told me a few times that her ex added her on Facebook but she wasn’t going to accept because she blocked him. When she ever mentions her ex I just basically don’t entertain her. At the start i wanted to know about what happened but at one point i just said that if your over him i don’t want to hear about him and the past is the past. She shows me when other boys snap her on snapchat which again at the start i was like this is a bit weird but good that she is telling me this and not hiding it and flirting with them. I know she does not text other boys or snap them, sh. When she is on her phone she isn’t afraid of me seeing it and she leaves her phone around me and has told me her password and isn't protective over her phone at all.

There is another psycho side of her though. One time she seen another girl like something on my Facebook, assumed that i was texting her and then when i basically laughed at her about her over reacting and told her nothing was happening she threated to breaks up , which i ignored and then she removed our relationship from Facebook that night and put it back up eh next day. She apologized and said she was scared to lose me; that’s why she over thinks. This was really unattractive to me but my sister who i am quite close with told me she is probably just insecure from her past etc. and to stick with it; she’ll worry less in time. The thing is that i have seen flirty comments from another boy on her photos when we were in a relationship but before it was on Facebook and then she told me it was just him being stupid and nothing happened between them. This guy is pretty weird and seems the creepy type who would comment on a girls photo to be fair. She tells me she has mood swings and some days she is in a bad mood. I have only experience this once where she was extremely annoying and twisted. She was arguing with everything I said. We were driving around and she keep this up so I drove her to her house and said get out we are done. I can’t deal with someone who acts like this. You need to sort yourself out and again she started saying she is sorry etc. The net day she said i was right to call her out on her behavior and that she fucked up and shouldn’t act like how she acted.

She is quite mentally unstable which I’m not sure is just a thing that young woman have these days or what. She told me about how she is depressed and though about suicide, how she might have bipolar issues and has anxiety. All in all i thought it was a good thing that she would open up to me about these things. however, it feels like too much for me to handle.

I feel like I’m damned if I stay and dammed if i go due to the massive guilt I’ll feel. I’m stuck on whether love is found or built. Red or blue pill. I’m stuck between whether my feelings come from my gut or just from fear of losing her. Am i being too hard on her and not as hard on myself? How do i trust my gut? Is she the best thing or worst thing for me?

I know she loves me but i don’t want to be a carer with no respect given back. I don’t expect her to take care my issues or what I’ve been through.

Overall there are SO many red flags. Her past, what i perceive is flirting, her mental health issues but also the problem is i see the good in her and i am still in love with her.

What should I do? I am in my early twenties and this is my first full on committed meet the parents type relationship, which makes me feel vulnerable, this could be why i am feeling insecure.

One half of me is saying to leave. That she isn’t madly in love with me or else the above things would not have happened. Another part of me is saying that she is a genuine and sweet girl who has been hurt before that is why she in insecure and that i need to stick with it and see how it goes down the line.

Should I leave her or stick with this for a while?