Solid 9/10 (19F) and I (21M) met in class, first couple weeks, didn’t really talk, but later was quick to pick up her IOI such as laughing at my lame jokes, making solid eye contact and tries to impress me with what she does (plays sax, guitar, and does Judo). Eventually I warm up to her, and asked her out. She was quick to say yes and suggested a day. Done and done, date was amazing, she paid for my meal (I said I’ll pay for the next one), had a good time at the arcade and made out by the end. Told her we should do it again, she agreed and suggested the following Friday.

Then the bull shit happens, she flakes the following Friday (due to baby shower, understandable). I offered to plan another day, she agrees and flakes again without even letting me know on the day... all the while sending me memes and flirting over text every other day.

Then I allow my triggered little beta side to surface out of insecurity and fear of letting her go when I find she unfollowed me on Instagram. I overreact, threatening to end what we had (wow), she replies with “kinda still trying to get over everything that’s happened these past 3 months” (in the process of breaking up with her boyfriend 22M of two years). I apologise (actually surprised of how much of a woman I am as I write this) and say we should meet up again, she suggested Friday again, and flakes on the day again saying she needed to work on her assignment.

Eventually, she ghosts, and now never bothers to reply to my text. I assume she is getting back together with her ex, but in retrospect, I failed to see that I was clearly a rebound and I got emotionally invested. Guys, what can I truly learn from this, and how do I stop myself from investing in a girl so early?