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"Pasadena area woman charged with having sex with nephew 'hundreds of times'" Well, at least she didn't rape him. Oh, wait.

casusbelli1

December 8, 2015
162 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://archive.is/VJBda
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Title "Pasadena area woman charged with having sex with nephew 'hundreds of times'" Well, at least she didn't rape him. Oh, wait.
Author

casusbelli1

Upvotes 162
Comments 41
Date December 8, 2015 6:18 PM UTC
(10 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/3vyjvx/pasadena_area_woman_charged_with_having_sex_with/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/pasadena-area-woman-charged-with-having-sex-with.965558
https://theredarchive.com/post/965558
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Comments

[–]Rethgil 16 points17 points18 points 10 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link

How much do we have to shout before we get equality for men in the courts? How many boys have to be abused? How many ex-husbands left broken by losing their kids? How many men destroyed by ancient alimony laws?

[–]ABC_Florida 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link

Dunno. But this dude seems to play the victim. Why the f*ck would you move in to someone who is raping you? For the same reason a traumatized rape victim feeling triggered by any memory would text her BF to fuck her in the ass, and then carry a mattress around the campus to make her remember what she wants to forget.

This dude changed his mind. He did not consider it rape at that time. He only wants revenge.

It isn't equality if women support liars because they are female too. So why support someone who waited 6 years and a few hundred times to report? Reverse the genders and examine the situation that way too!

[–]Arby01 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago (22 children) | Copy Link

charged with sexual assault of a child

So, this six years started when it was essentially statutory rape. Yeah, it continued until he was an adult. That could be "he was fine with it" or it could be "he was groomed and manipulated for that to happen and is essentially emotionally damaged from abuse".

So, the test that you need to apply is, "if a girl was having sex with an uncle from 14-20 before reporting it" would you be as unsympathetic and, more importantly, would the law treat the situation the same.

Realistically, I think we are a little overboard on the teen-agers can't consent thing, but I want the same protection for both teen boys and teen girls.

[–]mwobuddy -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

That grooming line is bullshit. Most courting/flirting is grooming, if we use the same definition for "underage grooming" and take out the age component.

A 20 year old fucks a 40 year old after he or she establishes a good rapport and starts escalating into a relationship or a fuckbuddy status. Grooming, because his intent was sex from the very start. The horror.

[–]Arby01 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

That grooming line is bullshit.

If we assume both are adults at the beginning, I sort of agree with you. However, with the younger being below the age of consent, I think that is relevant.

As for your example 20/40 - that's a big age split. If I could get into a relationship with a 20 yo now, I would have such a huge interpersonal skill and comprehension advantage that I could easily fuck them up and keep them coming back for more. Hell, I have listened to women talk that are just friends and realized that they had explained to me exactly how I could manipulate and damage them if I were the sort of person that wanted to do so.

It's not that it isn't necessarily consensual, it's that the opportunity for abuse without the younger person having any idea that they are being abused is gigantic.

[–]mwobuddy 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago* (19 children) | Copy Link

huge interpersonal skill and comprehension advantage that I could easily fuck them up and keep them coming back for more.

Non-starter. A 16 year old who becomes a jock just for pussy, and has sociopathic tendencies, can do just as well as you.

Age isn't the basis of comparison for whether a relationship is abusive. Abuse in the relationship is.

If we really, actually cared about the opportunity for abuse, then underage sex with two people who are underage would also be criminal and dealt with. Oh, probably not as harshly, but say probation or a 1 month jail sentence, etc. There's great opportunity to exploit naive girls when you're in middle/high school just as easily, or even more so, than an adult, and precisely because you, as a male of similar age to them, look "safe" because the social narrative says so.

The line that "it could be abusive, therefore it should be illegal" is not a good dictator of policy. It isn't equally applied to all ages, and the premise is that it is not the act in itself that causes issues but potential abuse. If it is about potential abuse, then make it the law that the abuse is what is illegal, not the act.

[–]Arby01 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

Non-starter. A 16 year old who becomes a jock just for pussy, and has sociopathic tendencies,

a full on sociopath, maybe. Otherwise, no.

I have learned from being on the downside of almost your exact scenario, you are simply deluding yourself.

If we really, actually cared about the opportunity for abuse, then underage sex with two people who are underage would also be criminal and dealt with

The potential exists but it is nowhere near the same degree as when the age gap exists.

[–]mwobuddy 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/10/08/230428115/many-teens-admit-to-coercing-others-into-sex

[–]Arby01 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

not the same thing dude.

[–]mwobuddy 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

So coercion is not coercion if it comes from the same age person? makes perfect sense.

[–]qemist 4 points5 points6 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Breaking the circle will only cost you karma.

[–]ABC_Florida 7 points8 points9 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Who gives a f*ck! They are wrong protecting this bloke. Changing your mind after 5 years?

If I posted this with a misleading title on purpose: "Woman changes her mind about multiple sexual acts after five years. She even moved in with her rapist."... Then I can assure you there would be 5 times this many views, and at least a dozen comments condemning her actions. The comments of those folks who wouldn't read the linked article. People would state, "this is what feminism looks like". So this is a double standard. At least a handful of people don't see it as it is: revenge.

[–]mwobuddy 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

The circlejerk I presume you mean. And yes. Its kind of sad. I think everyone here is against rape. However, a large segment of people here are for women being seen as evil rapists just as much as men, even if it might not have been such a situation to warrant that, while also complaining that men are seen as rapists for their own murky situations.

Agenda and confirmation bias is a helluva drug.

[–]qemist 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Mixes well with naivety. Unfortunately I suspect a large proportion of the subscribers to this sub have not had sufficient opportunity to learn about the ways of the world yet. Mostly they buy into the false narratives set by feminists then try to prove women are just as bad in those terms. If you let your oppressors define the terms of the debate then you have already lost.

[–]MRMRising 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Phillips was arrested Dec. 4 and is free on $30,000 bail. She is scheduled to appear in the 174th State District Court on Jan. 20.

Hmmm, why do I get the feeling that this case will posted at r/PUSSYPASS at the end of January?

[–]Just4yourpost 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

After the couple divorced, the nephew moved in with Phillips, who continued to have sexual intercourse with him.

Huh? Why would a nephew of the husband move in with a person not related to him?

[–]mwobuddy 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah. rape victims always go back for more, don't you know? Just like mattress girl.

[–]Arby01 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

abuse victims often do though, there is some overlap.

[–]ABC_Florida 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

OP!

This is a pretty misleading and badly written article. There are many contradictions with other sources:

Source OP heavy.com khou.com abc13.com
When did it start "in about 2009" "the abuse happened between 2007 and 2009" "between 2007 and 2009" "about 2009 "
First time "he was in the hospital and she crawled into his bed and touched him inappropriately" "crawled into his bed and touched him inappropriately" "sexually assaulted the teen while he was in the hospital" "his relative performed a sex act on him"
Was caught by nurse ✕ ✕ ✕ ✔

The description in the original article is very misleading:

  1. "He said the abuse began shortly after he arrived in Pasadena from out of state, in about 2009..."

  2. "The first time Phillips touched him, the nephew said, he was in the hospital and she crawled into his bed and touched him inappropriately. he said..." OK, other sources indicate that he was in hospital after moving there.

  3. "After the couple divorced, the nephew moved in with Phillips, who continued to have sexual intercourse with him."

So this article makes you believe this was a situation happening from 2009, and not talking about when it ended. Other sources indicate 2009 as the possible end.

[–]allenahansen -3 points-2 points-1 points 10 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

So an 18-year-old man has sex with an older woman, breaks up her marriage and moves in with her-- where she presumably supports him. He grows dissatisfied (maybe she fools around on him like she did on her husband? Maybe she kicks him out and brings in a new, younger man?) He goes to LE and files a complaint to get even with her.

Definitely rape. Hundreds of times.

[–]Captaincastle 10 points11 points12 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

If he's 22 now, he'd have been 16 in 2009 though, right?

[–]BlueCollarAristocrat 9 points10 points11 points 10 years ago* (23 children) | Copy Link

In 2009, the defendant was a 35/36 year old adult who raped/sexually assaulted a 15/16 year old child with no recognized lawful ability to consent.

So, yes, the defendant raped the victim hundreds of times, most definitely.

What would you say if a 35 year old man fucked your 15 year old daughter hundreds of times and she "consented" to it?

And before you say that it's different when it's a girl, I'll be proactive here and agree with you... It's different because we are taught that females mature faster and sooner than males, which should allow mature females to cope with and adapt to adult situations more easily, sooner, and faster than immature boys of similar ages...

[–]allenahansen -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

What the hell difference does the gender make? Some people are sexually active in their teens. Live with it.

[–]Captaincastle 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah and there's absolutely no consequences to that right?

[–]ABC_Florida -3 points-2 points-1 points 10 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

And why would you move in with your "raper". I mean legally there was probably rape if he was under the legal age of consent. So there is a legal background. Still this case seems like a revenge by the boy.

[–]BlueCollarAristocrat 3 points4 points5 points 10 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link

Adults routinely continue relations and move back in with their abusers...

As he grew older and more knowledgeable, perhaps he's been educated on some of the harsher realities of this world and realized what he's experienced was rape... That the adult authority figure actually abused him and her authority over him.

Perhaps he even wanted to get revenge and make her pay for her crimes. Nothing wrong with revenge. Nothing wrong with holding someone accountable for their crimes under the Rule of Law.

[–]ABC_Florida 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

Nothing wrong with holding someone accountable for their crimes under the Rule of Law.

Agree.


I was young too. I was in love with my female teacher. Not sexually attracted, since I didn't know what it was at the time. This was around the age of 11. Here is a 15/16 year old boy. In his mind he wasn't raped at that time, although the law leaves no room for subjective opinion about the maturity of the minor. Although I remember a case where the woman was acquitted stating that the maturity difference wasn't too big. He goes to the cops at the age of 22. Come on! It's a regret ≠rape situation. Reverse the genders and you probably will find the same way.

I don't believe there is a rape culture in the west. But I'm sure about victim culture. This boy was legally raped, I do think he consented to all those sex. Legally he wasn't able to consent to a portion of them. So legally he was raped. Morally, he wants to get revenge on her. That's my personal opinion. And I condemn his behavior.

[–]BlueCollarAristocrat 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

The revenge aspect is not relevant to me, because if someone commits crimes upon me or someone I care about personally, I automatically want revenge, which is why I am not allowed to participate in their legal/judicial judgement.

[–]ABC_Florida 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

So what? He can't change his mind about those occasions? All victims should be believed, and the accused ones should prove their innocence? This is what you say? Because it seems like.

[–]BlueCollarAristocrat 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

So what? He can't change his mind about those occasions?

His opinion does not matter. He has no legal right to consent, therefore any sex with an adult is raping of the child by that adult.

All victims should be believed, and the accused ones should prove their innocence?

She admitted to her crimes and plead guilty to those crimes.

All are innocent until proven guilty.

This is what you say? Because it seems like.

No, it's not what I said nor meant at all.

You are giving a child the legal rights of an adult when they do not possess the legal rights of an adult. Please stop doing this.

[–]mwobuddy 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

He had no legal right to consent, unless the female was the same age as him. Then we applaud them for exploring their sexuality as a healthy teen.

The hypocrisy is obvious.

[–]ABC_Florida 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

His opinion does not matter. He has no legal right to consent, therefore any sex with an adult is raping of the child by that adult.

If you look at my comments, you will see that I agree on that there was probably rape in legal terms.

She admitted to her crimes and plead guilty to those crimes.

Where did you read this?

You are giving a child the legal rights of an adult when they do not possess the legal rights of an adult. Please stop doing this.

I said I agree, that there was probably rape. IANAL, though. How the fuck was he raped after his 18th birthday? Is he handicapped physically? I highly doubt, since the news would have mentioned this. What about those hundreds of times? I't only exaggeration, some dick trying to escape responsibility from his actions after 18.

I think his actions give more than enough reason to question his intentions to come forward after 6 years? If it was about that rape against a minor legally inadequate to consent, we wouldn't read hundreds of times. Would we?

[–]BlueCollarAristocrat 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Where did you read this?

Well, it looks like I'm an idiot. I was wrong about her guilty plea. This one was only charged and has yet to go to trial. I was thinking of a difference case I've been discussing here recently where a woman plead guilty and admitted to her crimes.

Sorry for the confusion.

[–]RedPresident 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

Do you also ask why every abuse victim doesn't move out?

[–]ABC_Florida -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

The original article mentions this:

After the couple divorced, the nephew moved in with Phillips, who continued to have sexual intercourse with him.

So his blood relative (uncle) divorced the suspect, yet he moved in with his rapist? Why? He had a grudge against the victim for fucking his wife? He not only had a roof above his had, but a fuck buddy?

[–]RedPresident 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

I'm not answering your questions if you're not answering mine.

[–]ABC_Florida -1 points0 points1 point 10 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

No. I don't question why all abuse victims don't move out. I'm only questioning him moving in with his abuser.

Your turn!

[–]RedPresident 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

Pasadena is an expensive place to live. A young man who is having sex with his aunt (even through marriage) may have some other issues in his life. If his parents (the blood relatives of the husband) view HIM as the problem, instead of the victim, he may have been asked to leave at 18. Obviously his uncle doesn't want him, and homelessness in Pasadena is not great. If his abuser has a nice place to live, then tolerating that abuse might be better than living on the street. Just as it is for other victims of abuse, whom you do not question.

I do not understand the question about the grudge? Is that about the uncle?

As for the fuck buddy thing, maybe that's exactly what he was thinking. Maybe, as a teenager, he thought this is the best thing ever. Maybe now that he's older he's looked back and realized that when he should have been building life long relationships with his peer group, he was instead distracted by a criminal monopolizing his time. This is a public matter now, but I'm sure some people thought it was weird that he lived with his non-blood aunt after the divorce, maybe peer-shaming woke him up to the fact that his life had been seriously derailed by this woman, and he realizes now why the law about sleeping with minors exists.

I'd be curious what, in your mind, separates this victim from the victims you don't question?

[–]ABC_Florida 0 points1 point2 points 10 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

I'd be curious what, in your mind, separates this victim from the victims you don't question?

His behavior. He moves out from his own family. Reasons unknown. Obviously not because of death, since he wouldn't hide it. Moves to his uncle. His aunt flirts with him. He gives in and fucks her. Legally the woman is at fault for rape. Morally he is a dick for boning the wife of the only person he could count on in life. Obviously he don't get well along with his uncle after it. How surprising. If he moved to them in 2007, he was 14 at that time. Since he left his family, he's missing a father figure for sure. Since he fucked over the possible replacement, he won't have one. Although less than half of the responsibility is on his shoulders for ruining the marriage of the person who accepted him, he isn't innocent. OK, legally he can't bear the load of giving consent. But morally betraying your own blood, isn't something a 14 year old should do.

So they separate. Uncle probably can't see his face. There is this woman, who deliberately fucked over her husband, ruined her marriage and probably counted on victim's dick to follow her where ever she moves. Check. He moves in with her. There might be a slight remorse for ruining a life, but his dick yells louder, than his brain. I suppose after living alone with her, they fucked 24/7, since no need to keep a secret. I don't accept that he had no other chance to live. Foster home. Friend. Class mate. But her house and her pussy was more comfy. Period. Constant fuck buddy at home for a teen boy = bad grades. Bad grades = being unsuccessful in life later. I think it is safe to say that he lacked a father figure in his life, when he needed most. In puberty. The second one he missed is partly his fault. No at 22 he realizes that his life is on the wrong track. He is lacking responsibility, so he seeks someone to blame. He blames the woman who seduced him, and with whom he had mutual pleasure with. The woman is at fault, since he wasn't at the age to consent. He had no problem having sex with her, otherwise he wasn't talking about hundreds of occasions. He is in no way innocent, since he had many time and opportunity to live in other place. He was weak and couldn't stand the temptation.

The woman is guilty. She deserves a sentence. I find it accurate her to get only suspended sentence. Here we have somebody who went to the police to report a crime. But it wasn't a good deed by John Q Law. It was either blaming all the responsibility for his actions on his aunt, or revenge for his fucked up life or being replaced by other, young stud. Even if he had a chance to move back to his family, after the news of his deed reached them, it is probably gone.

Except for one detail (his age), it is like the situation where the New York arts student changed her mind about her threesome to rape. The other difference is that for legal reasons in this situation regret = rape. I still can't feel sorry for the prick.

[–]RedPresident 1 point2 points3 points 10 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Except for one detail (his age)

That's a pretty big detail...

I don't accept that he had no other chance to live. Foster home. Friend. Class mate.

I missed that in the story, but I guess details really don't matter to you anyway.

[–]Rethgil 2 points3 points4 points 10 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

So a troubled male poster (or female posing as male?) lurks to find one story they think they can dismiss, only to realise their poor math means they look a bit silly? Or do you equally monitor female forums amd post criticisms of female victims of rape because you assume they simply changed their minds? Probably not.

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