For those of you not Down Under, the Melbourne Cup (held today) is Straya's Grand National (or Epsom Derby), the US' Kentucky Derby, Hong Kong's QE2 Cup and so on - legend (or the bookies at least) has it that the entire nation stops while it's run.

A lot (and I mean a shitload) of money gets turned over, and not just on the betting - breeders, stables, jockeys, fashion houses, veterinarians, vineyards and telly channels all fight with each other for a piece of the action. Every year, the winning horse (and its owner, its stable owner and its jockey) are the toast of the nation.

This year was the same, except for one slight difference: it just so happens the jockey was female.

Can you guess where this might be heading, children...?

Oh, well done class. Yes, this was, above all else, a victory for... FEMINISM!! How excitement.

Michelle Payne, 30, rode Prince of Penzance to victory in Australia’s biggest race on Tuesday, coincidentally wearing the colours of the suffragettes: purple, white and green.

Yes, because no-one else has ever worn those colours in the entire 154 year history of the Melbourne Cup.

“I would like to say that, you know, it’s a very male-dominated sport and people think we are not strong enough and all of the rest of it ... you know what? It’s not all about strength, there is so much more involved, getting the horse into a rhythm, getting the horse to try for you, it’s being patient..."

Yes, so much this. Because none - not one - of the other 153 winning male jockeys had ever figured that out (we'll completely ignore all the thousands of other male and the three female jockeys who didn't win cos obviously they hadn't thought about this at all). This, then, isn't just a victory for teh Wimminz, but also A Big Victory for all those chauvinist bastard male jockeys who've doubtless learned a thing or two.

Feminism - where Winners Are Grinners.