How do you not get upset when your wife hard nos you. No matter how much I work on my frame and try to keep it cool and accept the hard no and go on like it didnt happen I always lose my shit. She brings emotion in as I try to rationalize and logically understand why she hard noed. She only does it for good reasons.

Last night she had a case of lactose intolerance after dinner and I tried getting anal before bedtime. Pretty good reason she didnt want it imo but I couldn't accept the no still. I feel like a toddler being told no and cant figure out how to change it.