So to give some background, I'm an ex-Jehovah Witness. I was born into the cult and left when I was 19, but didn't cut off my toxic family and move away until I started college last Fall. Simply put, I'm a 25M, completely new to dating and understanding sexual / romantic social dynamics.

My lack of sexual experience paired with having to listen to my ripped roommate fucking on a weekly basis lead me to constant suicidal thoughts, walking around campus drunk late at night to escape the sex noises, and eventually leaving college due to being in a constant state of depression, even with the help of meds or counseling.

I didn't start attempting to date for the first time until late 2017. I have only attempted to date online, mainly through Tinder and OkCupid as flirting is a foreign concept to me and I am totally inexperienced.

My first date was through Tinder, we meet at a coffee shop and I bought her a drink. We sat outside and started talking, although about 10 minutes into the date she started talking to someone on her phone, she included me somewhat in the conversation, but I thought it was very awkward and rude. She also called me out for being nervous as I was, and was drinking fast. We ended up walking through a garden, but since this was my first date I was very quiet. I didn't escalate at all, no touching in the slightest. At the end she seemed like she was open to more, but I just told her I would like to do something again sometime and we parted ways, there were some texts after, but it fizzled. The date lasted 3 hours.

My second date, this time through OkCupid was better, but weird. After a few messages the girl asked for a hookup and I said yeah and proceeded to pick her up. It was very awkward as she was very depressed and didn't talk much on the way back to my place. We sat on my bed and watched a movie, she started talking about sex stuff, so after asking her if I could put my arm around her during the movie (Lame, I know), I mustered the courage to ask her if she wanted to fool around, she said yes in quiet way, we talked a little bit and she eventually asked me to lay down and sat on my lap. We started making out, eventually naked, but she didn't want sex. She stayed that night and the next. She was open to sex the second night of making out, but between a combination of excitement and her smell down under I couldn't get it up. She texted me later that she was mad we didn't talk more and just wanted to be friends (Even though she was the one who mentioned the hookup???). We hung out once more as friends, but things fizzled after that.

My third date actually went well. I went to a pub with this girl and I was actually comfortable, joking around, and having a good time. We ended up going to a park afterwards, talked a bit. I tried making small physical advances for the first time, it took all my courage to even touch her hand and back. We ended the date with me again saying we should do something again and I said goodbye, no hug or kiss. She texted me shortly after saying she made it home safely. I texted her back again saying we should do something again, her response was "that's cool". I figured the attraction was dead so we had some casual texts the next day and that was it. She messaged me the next weekend saying hi and we had more casual chats, but she hasn't responded to any offers to hangout, so I'm not sure if she's just busy and still wants to hang, or what.

I'm gradually improving socially, but I just need some advice to escalate instead of locking up and freezing, I don't want more lame dates. I'm also extremely afraid of cold approaching, I would like to meet real women normally instead of apps, but anything beyond normal friendly conversations with women causes me to lock up as well.

Luckily my mood has improved quite a bit since leaving college, but my virginity always finds a way to creep back into my thoughts and my mood takes a hit sometimes. I'm going back to college this Fall as well.

TLDR; How do I get rid of mental blocks for dating escalation or cold approaching?