Newly single dad. NEED HELP :(

zazindicoot · 2014-09-04T18:25:42+00:00

In general, the courts offer little if any remedy for men in your position. The way the State looks at it is they now have the opportunity to double, triple or even quadruple tax you in the process of transferring your paychecks to your ex. People keep wondering why the divorce courts are so awful but the answer is right there under your nose: follow the money.

That said, if your ex is freaking out, that's actually a good sign in respect to your possible outcomes. She's not thinking rationally. So, what you need to do is sit down with yourself and really dig deep and have a very honest conversation about what you think she really wants. Is she freaking out to bluff you into staying? Is she freaking out to set the pretext for false accusations? Etc. /r/theredpill might be a good place to start for you to delve a bit into the labyrinth of female psychology... your gut-diagnosis is almost certainly wrong because you are just projecting your male brain onto her; I can see this because you are concluding "crazy" where instead I see "instinct-driven, mental/emotional manipulation".

Once you think you have a pretty good idea what is really motivating her, then you need to sit down and have an even more brutally honest conversation with yourself about the costs of trying to leave. I know you're saying "ex" but it sounds like you weren't married so this is just a question of whether you guys choose to stay together or not.

Let me put it this way: If I knew 6 years ago what I know today about our courts and law system, I would have just done everything in my power to get my now ex- to calm down and quit freaking out and just be happy and shut up, then find a way to sneak out and get a hooker on occasion to have some connection with another human being. The costs to the children are too great. My ex- is motivated by one thing and one thing only: the almighty dollar. And the State is happy to facilitate her so that it can get its handler's fees in the form of triple-taxation and judge and lawyer salaries. Between the two of them, I have been completely financially destroyed, with little hope of recuperation. I was earning in the low six figures, by the way. Manage. Cope. Adapt. Reroute. Do not confront, draw the battle lines or throw down. It's a huge temptation but you have to really count the costs. This has absolutely nothing to do with beta-pandering, by the way, it has to do with just rising above the whole dispute completely. Your girlfriend/wife is the mother of your children. If she wants to participate in a meaningful relationship with you, as well, that's wonderful. If not, then you are her manager/caretaker (superior), not her boyfriend/husband (peer). When you divorce or go through family law court, you become her bitch (inferior). Just get a hooker, it's cheaper.

Dixieduffy · 2014-09-04T19:45:42+00:00

I would also say document EVERYTHING! When she's late/refuses to bringing your daughter. If she blows up on you for whatever reason. Interactions with your daughter. If it ends up in custody court the irritatingly constant documentation of you being a good father can only help your case.

MRSPArchiver · 2014-09-04T17:41:33+00:00

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DougDante · 2014-09-05T00:29:34+00:00

I'm not a lawyer and this is not legal advice.

Taxes are resolved during a custody dispute. Usually the custodial parent can claim the child on their taxes.

The state will generally not provide either parent with a lawyer.

Child custody generally will be settled by the legal process, and a legal standard for when a parent can file for a change of custody is used to prevent constant battling. In Michigan, it is clear and convincing evidence of a change in circumstances.

If you want to document lies, I recommend you get a lawyer and also determine whether your state is a single party recording state. If it is, consider making recordings if your lawyer recommends it.

If you can't afford a lawyer on your own, but have parents willing to pay for a lawyer, consider asking them.

Title	Newly single dad. NEED HELP :(
Author	Bluenosebuggin
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	September 4, 2014 5:41 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2fh0vt/newly_single_dad_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/newly-single-dad-need-help.996138 https://theredarchive.com/post/996138

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