15th

Odd-Zone-2635 · 2025-12-08T07:30:20+00:00

This is an incredibly brutal situation. To be the sole breadwinner, still housing your children and their mother, yet paying $1800 in child support and being forced to buy a car is a financially and emotionally impossible burden. That overwhelmed feeling is completely valid; you are right to recognize that this process is taking a severe toll on your mental health.

Let's get strategic. The fact that the children and their mother live with you while you pay child support is a fundamental contradiction and a clear, objective fact that must be corrected immediately. Your immediate focus must shift entirely from surviving the move to surviving the next court hearing.

Your Two Actionable Steps

Demand a Legal Correction: You must urgently communicate with your attorney and demand they file a motion for clarification or reconsideration of the temporary orders. The current orders are factually incorrect and financially ruinous. Your only communication to your ex about this should be professional and Court-Safe. Do not argue about the facts; simply state your position on the finances in writing: "The current temporary orders are being reviewed by my attorney due to the factual discrepancy regarding the children’s residency and support obligations. I will adhere to the move-out date of December 15th as ordered." This anchors your action in the legal process, not emotional debate.

Focus on the Kids' Peace, Not Christmas: The stress of the financial strain is toxic. Your focus needs to be on securing a stable, affordable new home, even if it's small. The kids need your peace more than they need an expensive Christmas. Be transparent with them in an age-appropriate way: "Daddy is moving to a new, smaller home right now so we can have a stable base for the future, and that means we are focusing on spending time together, not on gifts, this year." Protect your financial well-being by refusing to take on any non-mandated debt for your ex, especially the rent and the car. Your survival is your children's safety.

You are the stable financial anchor for your children, and securing your own stability is the most important thing you can do for them right now.

DivorcingSamThrowawa · 2025-12-06T18:31:45+00:00

So, if you have a family member who will loan you money then you can draw up a loan document that states that you will pay them back when your divorce is finalized. It can simply say that you do not have funds to meet the temporary obligations that the proceedings are placing on you and that you will be able to pay off any balance of a loan when the divorce is finalized and assets have been distributed. You can pay 4% interest on the outstanding balance in the meantime. The loan should be a debit on your side of the balance sheet and should ultimately be 1/2 her's to pay - if you want to look at it that way.

Don't know if you have anyone in your life who can do that for you or not. Best of luck.

FUMoney · 2025-12-06T06:26:55+00:00

Cut everything. Cable. Internet. Streaming. All memberships.

bluephotoshop · 2025-12-06T04:22:29+00:00

That $500 car payment? Is it for her car? Get rid of the car and buy a cheaper one for her. Turn off internet and cable. When your lease runs out, find a cheaper place to stay.

Title	15th
Author	Then_Armadillo_2796
Upvotes	2
Comments	4
Date	December 5, 2025 8:25 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1pf5opu/15th/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/15th.1568155 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568155

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