So just like most people, I was shocked, hurt and angry, etc etc that my STBXW had an affair. I would say I went through the emotional roller coaster for 4-5 days during the work week. I found out on a Monday, went through all the emotions while faking it for my kids, and then checked into a hotel on a Friday for the weekend. I thought I was going to be wallowing in self pity for weeks/months.

During that weekend something happened, a calm reality came over me. Yes, I am hurt. But my wife literally sucked. I didn’t love her anymore whatsoever. She has sucked for a very long time. She was emotionally and physically closed off and neglectful. She needs an internal/external punching bag because of how insecure and immature she is. She is a cold, distant mother who barely plays with my kids, Just watches tik tok videos all day. I would try and play and kiss her just to be rebuffed. We had sex maybe once a month and it wasn’t good.

All of this came flooding into me in that hotel room and completely regulated my emotional system. It was like the woman I married was a completely different person, she even looked different.

I was shocked at how easy it was for to completely and utterly emotionally detach from her because the truth is, I was already emotionally detached from her. I don’t love her, I don’t hate her. I’m completely indifferent.

She spent one day trying to save the marriage and reconcile. And Of course I’m still hurt by the betrayal, but I am so fuckin calm and at peace with this decision to divorce, my only regret is not doing it myself.

I’m going to a therapist who called me “the most motivated divorced man he’s ever met”, work out daily, I have two beautiful daughters 7 and 5 who are obsessed with me, a great job, amazing support systems. I mean, as corny as it sounds…life is beautiful.

Good luck to everyone. This sub helps a lot.