TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

tonyway7293 Archive

View 28 posts and 339 comments by tonyway7293 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
287

Ranttonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 02:11 AM
128

Ranttonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 12:10 AM
90

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 05:53 PM
81

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 08:32 PM
75

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 03:32 PM
73

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 12:06 AM
72

Ranttonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 10:10 PM
69

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 03:04 AM
62

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 01:31 AM
46

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 07:12 PM
43

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 02:13 AM
32

Dating After Divorcetonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 12:33 AM
23

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 11:53 PM
19

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 10:59 PM
19

Ranttonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 07:57 PM
15

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 02:17 AM
14

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 01:06 AM
12

Ranttonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 03:35 PM
10

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 07:02 PM
10

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men12/12/25 07:52 PM
9

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 11:53 PM
9

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 03:31 AM
8

Courttonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 12:35 AM
8

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men08/02/26 12:13 AM
6

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 04:51 AM
6

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 08:23 PM
4

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 11:49 PM
2

tonyway7293/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 01:58 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

Yes. 100%. In 2026 I'd say most women are abusive towards men.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 10:22 PM
7

I learned to be selfish. “I am the prize” mindset and not to care anymore about dating multiple women since they sure as hell are talking to multiple men. “She’s not yours, it’s just your turn” mindset is really what I embrace now. Enjoy the moment…. While it lasts. Don’t ever get attached or vulnerable again. When it ends (and it will one way or another) don’t get upset or depressed since you never should allow yourself to get attached on a deep level. Just move on to the next one that you alre…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 05:11 PM
7

This. I was able to keep my home, all my assets (she took the dog… that hurt). I did have to pay her out some equity (price of a new car). Never have to talk to that cheating scumbag again.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 06:22 PM
1

Me ex wife also has BPD. The narcissistic traits that come out during their “devalue and discard (divorce) phases” is absolutely mind blowing. I learned to never ignore “red flags” when it comes to committing your vulnerability to someone. I completely let all my guards down. There was several pieces of evidence and patterns my ex showed me before I asked her to marry me. I never thought that I would too eventually be the one painted “all black” in her eyes yet….. here I am. I escaped and surviv…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 10:20 AM
3

One year post divorce. I have no desire to find "true love". I will admit, I don't think I will ever commit myself to a woman like that again and I truly believe all women have an agenda, especially once you get married. Call me bigoted, I don't care. I survived divorce by the skin of my teeth, will never subject myself to that again. But..... I found a fantastic FWB situation with a woman who has a wonderful personality, we both respect the situation for what it is and when we do see each other…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 11:50 AM
0

Which is why never get married again. When they want out and not married… cool…. Some heartbreak but, On to the next. As we all know here, they abandoned and betray the vows on a whim. When they want out of the marriage, lots of heartbreak and then….they take it all.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 08:24 PM
20

I burned them all in a rusty 55 gal drum as I watched, smoking a cigar and sipping on a glass of whiskey the day the divorce finalized. No kids. She was a cheater. No reason to keep them to look back and reflect on a fraud.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 01:25 AM
5

Well just know, the possible “good quality men” that may encounter our exes will be bamboozled at some point too, because like we were in the beginning, they will be blind to who they truly are “behind the mask”. They too, will learn a hard lesson. I don’t envy them.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 07:09 PM
4

This!
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 05:51 PM
11

They all follow the same code. Their deceitful promiscuous nature will never have the decency to wait until they are physically out of your realm of shared living space to date (well, most were already “dating” before they mentioned divorce… you just didn’t know it yet). I went thru it and I’m sure the majority of men here have. She sucks. Try your best to not care because….. why should you grieve someone who is showing you this is who they are?
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 03:56 PM
1

“You are deploying soon… you should get a hall pass to have sex with other women… you are coming home to me anyway so why not?” “I have a fantasy where you watch me have sex with another man” “My co-worker Matt says he jerks off to the thought of me” And a bunch of other MAJOR red flags all within a very short abrupt timeline when she started losing weight on a GLP-1. 10 years together, 5 married, no kids (THANKFULLY). The final straw was, while I was away for a weekend, she left the house late …
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 10:33 AM
1

It will get better, but the scar will always be there.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 09:40 PM
5

Went through all that too brother. She would increase her voice and laughter while talking with another man on the phone knowing I was coming upstairs to my bedroom so she knew I would hear. Dressed up every night with her tits out going out knowing darn well what she was doing, she would even smirk at the Ring camera. If the shoe were on the other foot, I would at least have some empathy and respect for the person who I spent a decade with even though it was ending. I wouldn't do that crap in f…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 12:07 PM
8

I didn't feel like I was the only one in the world it happened to, since it happens so often it seems to everyone but..... the *way* it happened to me was straight up humiliating and malicious. I have only really discussed the details here a few times and to my therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 11:59 AM
22

Tell her she can pay you back everything you lost during the divorce and then in addition to that charge her a fee for your lost time and emotional damage and all your lawyer fees and then maybe you’d consider rekindling something. She will ghost so quickly you will have thought her wanting to reconcile was a dream (nightmare)!
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 11:13 AM
2

The Marriage Wheel For the majority of us here, we experienced this journey in one way or another. The end result is the same: you get screwed. Play at your own risk, but my suggestion is you just don’t play at all. https://youtu.be/_yB-ixMQzJk?si=QrNd5ZzVpOA_wZHX https://coachgregadams.substack.com/p/why-marriages-end-the-marriage-wheel?r=1r52kc&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&triedRedirect=true
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 09:03 PM
3

Right….. and usually…. That “newer and better” doesn’t play out. Putting that desire into the marriage would logically make more sense but you know…. They aren’t logical creatures and they get rewarded for blowing it all up anyway so why not!?
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 08:57 PM
14

She dressed up every night and went out knowing damn well it would piss me off (but I kept my cool and grey rocked…. She has no female friends….. NONE, I know she was going out with a man/men). She giggled and laughed with other men on the phone in front of me while she set up dates. She would escalate her laughter and voice knowing I was coming upstairs to my bedroom. While I was bringing up a case of water to my bedroom she smugly asked “where are you going with that?”. I said my room. She sai…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 08:42 PM
8

Lost my dogs in the divorce. I love dogs and will get one again but, I am taking a year or two completely pet free to take advantage of almost total freedom (other than having to show up for work). This gives me the ability to travel and do things I want to do right now, without having to worry or have the responsibility of taking care of a dog.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 05:51 PM
4

You got to see, through her actions, who she really is and what she’s capable of. What other closure do you need?
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 11:51 AM
8

It sucks. Experience it and get through it. I did for about a year. Now…. My money is up, I have traveled, accomplished a bunch of projects and have a great FWB thing going on that checks my sexual needs off. Get moving, don’t stay in the depressed mindset for too long brother.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 11:48 AM
1

Because Connecticut sucks and the judge ordered it
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/26 11:31 AM
4

Mine also had the “I’m not happy” and “I love you but I’m no longer in love with you” after I brought accountability to the table AFTER I discovered her affair and after she, also, had been on a GLP-1 for a bit. She did this right before I was due to deploy to a legitimate combat zone so she knew I was vulnerable. And that “I’m not happy” was immediately followed up with her filing for divorce, blaming everything on me and bailing. Two days before this we had a date night and planned/booked a tr…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 01:25 AM
5

It does line up. No fault divorce states don’t care about infidelity. My ex cheated. I had to pay her $60k in my home’s equity (even though it was a pre-marital asset and was in my name solely. I made every single mortgage payment myself). Why do you think most men here woke up to the absolute injustice of family law/marriage?
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 06:58 PM
6

You find it hard to believe because you haven’t experienced it. It happens…. Usually with partners who are avoidant, or, have some type of personality disorder (diagnosed or undiagnosed)… thinking in black/white or “all bad all good” terms. Something comes up that triggers that disorder and it’s over. Also, a lot of times, it correlates with an affair that has been progressing (without your knowledge of course). It happened to me. True blindside. It has happened to others. It is abuse whether th…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 06:43 PM
13

Please stay single. You have zero concept of what being a partner let alone a spouse is.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 11:36 PM
3

The biggest tragedy IMO is that if you do find a genuine woman with good character, values and morals, that “guard” you speak of will always be up, not allowing us to really commit 100% of ourselves, due to being gutted and betrayed by a low quality woman. Once bitten, twice shy.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 05:53 PM
17

“Just to see her basically label it as unwanted junk just seems so mean-hearted”. Because she, and most of the women that men here on this sub dealt with are mean-hearted. These types of women are selfish, carry heavy narcissistic traits, hypergamous, and promiscuous. They enjoyed the time spent at our expense until they eye up the next new “shiny toy”, monkey branch, discard and then get paid out/rewarded for it from family court, society, their friends and family, while we are stuck with all t…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 02:30 PM
1

I was married just shy of 5 years. Also no kids. Both almost equal income so no alimony. Only fair thing IMO the judge did was keep personal debt personal debt…. I was nervous because she (and I had no idea until financial dislosure) racked up $45k in personal credit card debt…. 4 credit cards maxed out buying crap on TikTok shop, Temu, utilizing Afterpay etc. She also overdrafted her checking account immediately after leaving the home. She also, after filing, withdrew $80k from her 403b….. judg…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 11:23 PM
6

Because the judge and Connecticut as it pertains to family law are pathetic. The judge considers it marital because we moved in together in 2017.... even though we weren't married. Judge also smugly said "and you got a very favorable VA loan"...... yea.... because I EARNED it. Family court is a sham
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 07:00 PM
3

I did. Bought home for $240k in 2017 before we were married. In my name solely and I made every mortgage payment. Worth $290k date of marriage. Worth $410k at divorce (THREE appraisals.... high conflict... went all the way to trial.... she wanted $110k!). I owe her $60k. A nice reward for her cheating and betrayal. She lived here comfortably, while paying off her student loans. She paid for groceries, electric bill (in my name), internet bill... consumables. Paid off the loan, started a GLP-1, l…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 06:44 PM
3

This right here. And this doesn’t mean you can never dive into a committed relationship again, FWB etc (hopefully NEVER marriage again though). It just means to always have the mindset that this woman can (and probably will) betray you in one way or another. That means never entering a contract with them, preferably never living with them and never giving your absolute all to them. Enjoy them for the qualities they have and that’s it, the real focus should be YOU. Mostly all of us here had the o…
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 04:58 PM
5

It always is with a cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 05:28 PM
1

Same with my ex. She had no friends…. None. Handful of acquaintances. Always had issues with coworkers and it was NEVER her fault. So many red flags I ignored. Her wedding party consisted of her sister (maid of honor) and her bridesmaids were my sisters (whom she didn’t even get along with). She was TikTok and Instagram heavy in the end and was addicted to validation.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 05:20 PM
5

You are in this situation due to her actions. Tell her she can spend time with whatever loser she chose to cheat on you/the marriage with.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 05:16 PM
9

Never! I tried, gave marriage my all, stabbed in the back and the knife twisted in the end. Fool me once…. Fool me twice…. I dodged a huge bullet not having kids and was able to keep my home and not have to refinance after divorce. No alimony and no pension to her. I did have to buy her out a decent chunk though…. $60k…. But…. $16k of her 401k was transferred to me via QDRO. For a man getting divorced in Connecticut, you can’t escape much easier than that. Why would I step into the cesspool that…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 02:35 AM
4

It’s sadistically cruel. If the shoe were on the other foot I would still treat the person who shared a life with me for a decade with a bit of dignity and compassion. Comments like this and other things she said/did once she “flipped that switch” were incredibly cruel. I guess you can’t expect dignity and compassion from a cheater who only filed and fled because her secrecy was being exposed. Sickening.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 12:21 AM
6

I also stupidly was trying to “save the marriage” after she filed and was doing all the shady behavior. I scheduled a counseling session and I’m surprised she agreed to go with me. Counselor: “do you guys have children?” Ex: “no, but with the right man, I would” That’s when I stopped fighting for it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 10:25 PM
11

Towards the end, my ex told me (immediately after we had sex) that her co-worker says he “jerks off to the thought of her”. Wild
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 06:55 PM
10

Same here! She threw around that “d” word quite a bit at any perceived slight or hiccup. Weaponized…. Because they know they are rewarded for it and backed by family law, her family, her friends, Instagram/tiktok etc….
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 06:22 PM
13

That’s the narcissistic trait mostly every cheater has…. A complete lack of empathy for the person/people they are hurting and how it will be disastrous on so many levels. My ex was a completely selfish scumbag in the end and that is who she will always be in my eyes. I guess maybe that made it a tad “easier” to move on…. Knowing she is scum.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 06:21 PM
31

“You are deploying soon… you should get a hall pass to have sex with other women… you are coming home to me anyway so why not?” “I have a fantasy where you watch me have sex with another man” “My co-worker Matt says he jerks off to the thought of me” And a bunch of other MAJOR red flags all within a very short abrupt timeline when she started losing weight on a GLP-1. 10 years together, 5 married, no kids (THANKFULLY). Finally laid it all out that I have been paying attention and it won’t be tol…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 02:03 AM
6

Yes, but also “where are all the good men at?”
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 04:20 PM
7

They are so destructive and exhausting
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 04:14 PM
18

My ex and I agreed to not have children (VERY thankful for that now). I went as far to get a vasectomy so she could get off birth control since it was messing her up. After I caught onto her cheating, and even after she filed for divorce, I stupidly was trying to “save the marriage”. Scheduled a counseling session and she agreed to go with me surprisingly. Counselor: “do you guys have children” Ex: “no, but with the right man, I would” I stopped trying after that. This is who they are. They are …
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 05:03 PM
3

They leech onto the military benefits of the service member and retirement. My ex also made “jokes” such as “if I push you in front of this bus I get $500k of your SGLI!”. Looking back on it now, she probably wanted to actually push me in front of a bus…..
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 07:42 PM
3

I’m active duty Air Force and know all about dependapotumouses haha. She pulled all of this before I was about to deploy on a legit combat deployment. Those members got extended and still out there because of this war. She literally told me during our last dinner date together “you are deploying soon…. You should get a hall-pass to have sex with other women there…. Why not? You are coming home to me anyway”. Luckily my Command allowed me to sit it out and proceed with the divorce here. I’m glad …
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 02:32 PM
6

Yup! She lived here comfortably paying her student loans while I paid every single mortgage payment. It’s funny how shortly after she paid off the loan she started the glp-1. Deceitful leech.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 02:16 PM
4

Unfortunately, it’s becoming a common correlation with divorce (as well as antidepressants and anxiety meds).
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 02:13 PM
8

I’m active duty Air Force. Thankfully, I caught onto her behavior during spin up before a legit combat deployment. Those boys are still over there too with this war. There is no doubt she would have had men in the marital bed while I was away as she further solidified her plan to exit. My Commander went thru a divorce and let me sit this one out to fight for my home thankfully. Luckily, the judge did not grant her any retirement since I have less than 20 years in and it isn’t guaranteed I make i…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 11:28 AM
7

Yup. “Journey” Translation: find new exotic D
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 02:22 AM
12

When she: Told me a man bought her coffee on the way to work and said she was beautiful Said she has a fantasy where I watch her have sex with another man Told me her co-worker pleasures himself to the thought of her Told me I should get a "hall-pass" to have sex with other women while I was supposed to be away on an upcoming business trip. Started posting thirst trap selfies on her Instagram and I had no idea about it (since I don't have Instagram). My friend called me to tell me Deleted Ring/B…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 01:47 AM
10

People who need to loudly express how their life is so much “easier/better” are typically experiencing the opposite… or…. No where near the level they project. This is something my ex does via her social media. In reality….. she is far farrrrr from what her social media projects. Those who are truly happy and content don’t need to constantly boast about it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:08 PM
5

Yea, days before this, she was telling me how much she loved me and how she would never cheat on me and how I was her "ride or die for 10 years" when I confronted her on a pattern of behavior. I wasn't backing down since I knew things were happening that she wasn't admitting and that's when the "switch flipped" in her. Her quick transition from love to hate, quickly filing for divorce and leaving was quite traumatic for me honestly. Never experienced anything like that. It messed me up for a whi…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 01:03 PM
13

My ex wife and I both agreed to not have children. We later had a conversation with her wanting to get off BC as it was messing her up. I agreed to have a vasectomy. She starts Zepbound about a year later. She sent me Ai generated photos of her pregnant as “a joke”. She files for divorce and I am in that stupid panic phase of trying to save the marriage so I schedule a counseling session and she agrees to go with me: Counselor: “do you guys have children?” Ex: “no, but with the right man, I woul…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 01:33 AM
13

Almost 100% of the time these “blindsides” are because of secrecy, deception and infidelity on their end. Happened to me. Happened to a lot of us. Things are going to suck. Do not take her BS either… they will blame you for it all…. Just like my ex did. Were we perfect? No. We were lacking in areas absolutely. Were we unfaithful deceitful partners who chose to stomp all over the marriage and trust? No.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:05 AM
2

Exactly…. These people were always cheaters at their core but they were simply not “high value” enough on the attractive scale to play (I always found my ex attractive before the Zepbound use). Once they lost that weight and became a “10” in their eyes, the doors opened up and the cheating they always wanted to do begins. Literally what happened with my ex after she started Zepbound and lost weight quickly along with the new hairstyles, thirst trap selfies on Instagram etc.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 03:12 PM
2

Zepbound and the associated weight loss was a major contributor to her shady behavior and eventual divorce. The other contributor was her just being a shitty person with poor character, selfishness and complete lack of empathy and control. “I am gaining new confidence and am getting more attention from men, I can’t help it and I am sorry it is bleeding into our relationship, but I promise they are just fantasies… I would never act on it”: she said this 3 days before she filed for divorce when I …
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 03:01 PM
5

For those of us who went thru the betrayal, the infidelity, that “switch flip” we are all unfortunately familiar with…. We never thought they would do it….. but they did. Stay strong my friend. It WILL get easier…. Trust me.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 01:01 AM
6

You see her now with even MORE clarity for who she is. Don’t be fooled again my friend. Look forward.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 12:47 AM
6

“Time to go for a ride”…. Yup Motorcycles and dogs bring joy and therapy for me!
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 02:38 PM
8

This is who she is. This is who she always was, she just wore a good mask like the majority of them do. You will be better off. It doesn’t feel like it now but trust the (long) process. You don’t need or want someone like this in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 12:59 PM
5

I couldn’t imagine my ex coming back due to the financial payout alone. I had to give her $45k to buy her out after she cheated on and discarded me. She is stupid but I don’t think she is that stupid to show up one day again but who knows. If she did show up I’d tell her to give me $45k plus the lawyer fees and a blowjob and then I’d tell her to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 12:51 PM
5

Same here. She started Zepbound in beginning of 2025. She filed for divorce June 2025 after I confronted her on a series of statements and actions that absolutely point towards infidelity.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 09:32 AM
16

Not always does the sex dwindle. A change in patterns however can happen and it can go the other way. My ex ramped up sex with me immensely in the end. She would come home and initiate blowjobs. I was on a ladder getting stuff from the attic and she went to town. She wasn’t like this since our early dating days. Sadly, she was probably just turned on because of the most likely affair(s) she was having. She lost a bunch of weight on a GLP-1 during the end. The most I got out of her in the very en…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 05:56 PM
3

She was also on Zoloft and took a lot of weed edibles at night to deal with knee pain. I also noticed she started drinking towards the end… she even took several liquor bottles on her exit…. She barely ever drank before. Regardless, she is dead to me and I will never forgive her for it but I am every day letting go more and more. Side note: the knee pain? She was supposed to have a knee surgery. She announced she was divorcing me. Then, she nonchalantly said “I hope you can still find it in your…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 05:04 PM
1

Yea it really messed me up. My therapist, although she can’t diagnose my ex believes she displayed a lot of BPD traits. She had a lot of childhood trauma. I clearly just wasn’t dealing with a sane person all along. She maintained the “mask” until the weight loss.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 03:29 PM
2

It’s a form of abuse IMO…. Especially with my ex saying these things right after sex. We had gone to a lawn and garden store together that she wanted to go to with me and a great dinner date the night before it all ended. None of it makes any sense.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 03:22 PM
5

My ex hinted quite aggressively at an open relationship after she lost a bunch of weight on a GLP-1 last year and shortly after discarded me like trash and left once accountability came to the table. “I have a fantasy where you watch me have sex with another man” (she said this right after we had sex) “My co-worker pleasures himself to the thought of me” (she also said this right after we had sex) “You should get a hall-pass to have sex with other women while you are away for work travel” We bot…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/26 03:01 PM
1

Highly doubt it brother! The way she switched up never seen anything like it. COLD! Zero empathy from her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/26 02:52 AM
6

Yes, really. Some of us didn't have headaches, aggravation or emotional drain. Instead, some of us were bamboozled in the end by someone who betrayed us and we are now forced to accept a reality that happens to be a painful living nightmare. Some of us enjoyed the marriage and person we were with until the very end when they showed us who they really are.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/26 04:16 AM
2

Ex wife after she filed: “Marriage is just a piece of paper” She is the one who wanted the $20k+ wedding…. Never again
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 04:22 PM
1

They gossip about it to everyone BUT you. Yea, there is an aspect of this that a man should know but it is also the responsibility of her to COMMUNICATE to the one banging her
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 11:10 PM
3

My thoughts exactly. It’s all a big nothing. We tried. We believed in the concept of what marriage should be. They did not. I won’t blame myself for choosing to love someone every day and I will never take ownership for her cheating in the end and her disgusting behavior. I have been completely unimpressed with the “quality” of women I have been dating since my divorce. No values, loyalty, accountability or integrity. It is just constant need for hypergamy with them and it is exhausting.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 04:06 PM
5

Wow! Thanks for this! I will take a screen shot of this to remind myself when I get in these ruts.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 08:20 PM
2

Cheating is a common theme with them. Them getting rewarded for it is also common. Welcome to the club, unfortunately!
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 08:16 PM
7

Because she is a low character piece of trash, just like my ex, just like all of them who cheat and monkey branch
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 01:16 AM
5

My therapist believes my ex showed all the signs of BPD and fearful avoidant attachment style in addition to narcissistic traits in the end. Mix in bad childhood trauma and body image issues, GLP-1 and antidepressants and it was a ticking time bomb. The clear devaluation period and amazingly cruel and abrupt discard still affects me to this day. It was not “normal”.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/26 09:19 AM
1

Doesn’t matter, online, in-person, it’s bad out there. I had a smooth approach with a girl I see frequently at a lunch spot. She gave me her number. We set up a date for a week later….. ghosted, gone, poof. A few months back when my ex moved out I hopped onto the apps as well. Had some hookups but the ratio to ghosting was completely disheartening. They do it with online dating and they do it in person. They are addicted to the dopamine hit of an approach in person or initial message with online…
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/26 04:28 PM
2

I feel you brother. I am also military (Air Force) and my ex wife was proposing I get a “hall pass” to have sex with other women on an upcoming deployment. Called her out on that and other behavior and she instantly filed for divorce. 10 years together, 5 married. I owe her $60k out of my home, which sounds awful (and it is), but, overall I actually “won” (no kids, no alimony and can keep my home w/o refinancing). I will NEVER get married again. Seeing how the judge blatantly ignored things my e…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 01:43 PM
10

Hypergamy is definitely a thing. But.... she lost. She lives in a 2nd floor rental with a 85 lbs dog, massive credit card debt, she withdrew $65k from her retirement to stay afloat. She got way less out of the equity than she expected.... like a LOT less. She is on the dating apps, no man she monkey branched to like what usually happens. I figured she at least "leveled up" with a doctor at her job or something (she is a MRI tech). I get to keep my home. No alimony. Judge said we are responsible …
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 03:09 AM
7

External validation desire/addiction runs rampant in people that have personality disorders and childhood trauma. My ex was heavy on social media thirst trap posts etc once she started the med. Normal people, like us, could get a compliment from someone “wow you are looking good!”….. we would respond in a healthy way such as a simple thank you. People like my ex? Well, they take it as they want to bang them.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/26 12:01 AM
10

She had bad self-image issues. There were a few periods in our relationship where she was big but I always made it known I loved her. She looked great when she was putting in natural work at our home gym and eating better, the GLP-1 took her over the edge. TBH, the GLP-1 is doing her more harm than good, she has "Ozempic face" (she is on Zepbound though, not Ozempic). She also fainted and hit her head since it drops your blood sugar so low when she first started taking it. I had to take her to t…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 09:13 PM
12

Grass is greener syndrome. Whatever internal resentment she had (that she never communicated in a way I heard), combined with childhood trauma, combined with getting older (35), combined with drastic weight loss, ease of chatting up on social media, ease of making a dating app to “test the waters” plus knowing you will get a decent payout with divorce, it’s no wonder this is common.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 06:30 PM
2

Agreed, but, there were some things brewing underneath the surface for a long time (even before she met me). Childhood trauma, sexual assault from one of her mother’s several boyfriends, suicide attempt before meeting me. She always had low self esteem with her body. As a child, her mother would constantly tell her she was fat. I have been working heavily in therapy to deal with how abrupt the marriage ended. My therapist worked with me on an attachment style test. I am heavily secure attachment…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 09:49 PM
15

She left after starting a GLP-1. Lost a bunch of weight, started looking amazing and then.... cheating (along with wanting to open up the marriage).
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 04:21 PM
2

When: She started a GLP-1 without even talking to me about it Increased social media usage especially post-GLP-1…. Eventually posting things like #hideyourhusbands…. Knowing I don’t have social media She said she has a fantasy of cucking me Told me her co-worker masturbates to the thought of her She suggested I deserve a “hall pass” to have sex with other women on an upcoming military deployment She sent me Ai generated photos of her pregnant a year after we agreed to not have children and I had…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 04:13 PM
15

They are extremely hard to please. Now, for me, they are extremely hard to even want.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 03:09 PM
3

I agree. I reflected on my faults for the path towards destruction of my marriage. Complacency, communication, poor attitude sometimes. However, the manner in which she abruptly flipped that switch after I confronted her on a clear series of betrayals, after she strung me along as if everything was fine, and her treatment towards me in the end is something I will never own.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 01:46 PM
5

Also remember, a lot of people who move like this in life may have some type of undiagnosed personality disorder linked to childhood trauma. Doesn’t give them a pass for the trail of destruction they leave behind.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 02:49 AM
2

FUBAR: F'd up beyond any repair
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 02:41 AM
1

No idea. I don’t care.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 06:58 PM
2

Most of the women I have been on dates with post divorce say their exes were narcissists and bash them. I had one bash her ex sexually. Makes it easy to identify the FUBAR women
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 06:26 PM
3

Because at least here, in the US, they are empowered by the legal system for incentives, empowered by the feminist movement, empowered by social agendas especially via social media platforms with "you deserve happiness girl and if you ain't happy it's your husband's fault!" and "get that divorce girl have that glow up!". The push to "find yourself" which typically means cheat on your committed partner. Double standards with this too. If a man cheats on his wife, he is a narcissistic pig. If a wo…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 11:19 PM
2

Stop comparing your life to hers. It is destructive. She can be living under a bridge. Shouldn’t matter. She can be dating Tom Brady. Shouldn’t matter.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 07:54 PM
6

I feel you 100%. First, you can’t blame yourself for this in its entirety. Did you play a role in this? Most likely. But…. Do NOT blame yourself for this. She holds a percentage of the “blame” for the breakdown of the marriage. Most women have accountability issues and will try to hurt you by blaming you for it all…. Don’t take the bait. My divorce finalized last Friday… a divorce I did not want. It was a 10 month process. Was i complacent in the marriage at times? Yes. Was my attitude at times …
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 07:27 PM
0

$120k equity. So she got half She wasted (and therefor I wasted) money on attorney fees because she initially wanted $110k out of the home (based on an inflated Zillow amount), and then, she wanted no less than $75k. We had 3 appraisals done. Mine and hers had a $97k difference so obviously that was a problem. We split the 3rd appraisal which was basically in the middle. There was no choice but to push it to trial because of her stupid demand of no less than $75k. I offered her $34k ($30k plus t…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 06:42 PM
3

You can choose to not make her the central part of your life and she will still betray and leave you. I loved my wife but I made it known from the start I have hobbies and interests that I won’t compromise on. Still get f’ed in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 03:19 PM
8

My ex cheated on me and discarded me in a super humiliating way in the end and then raped me financially. Yet, I still self-reflected and took accountability for my part in the path towards the end of the marriage. Her self-reflection and accountability consisted of:
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 01:18 PM
8

Same. I will value women again but it will NEVER be to the extent as it was in my marriage. I will never let my guard down like that ever again and I will certainly NEVER get married again.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 12:36 PM
10

I f’ing hate the buzzword “glow up”. Back when I called my wife out on shady behavior I discovered, she flipped the switch and filed for divorce. The day after she filed she posted on her Instagram a smug selfie with #postbreakupglowup Self absorbed trash in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 11:41 AM
7

This here is the truth. My divorce finalized last Friday.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 11:21 AM
3

My unit deploys a lot.... that wasn't easy
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 02:59 AM
1

Yup, I f'ed up there
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 02:57 AM
2

Nope, she paid $0 to the mortgage. I got screwed on it. Judge said he considers it "marital" because we moved in together when I bought it (we were dating) and he said I had a "favorable VA loan"...... yea, because I EARNED it on two combat tours. Bought the home for $240k in 2017. I put $20k down. Married in 2020. Appraised at time of divorce for $410k Personal savings was pre-marital Connecticut SUCKS!
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 02:35 AM
13

I care. We care. Many men who have been in your shoes before care. She may not care, the family court may not care, but brother you have an entire army behind you who cares. You matter, regardless of her caring or not.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/26 02:06 AM
3

it was abusive
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 09:36 AM
2

I was in shock to say the least. Keep in mind, she said this right after we had sex and I believe it may have been the last time we had sex before she filed for divorce. “I have a fantasy where you watch me have sex with another guy”. I was dumbfounded at first, then I believe I said “absolutely not, I’m not and will not ever be into cuckoldry”. I believe she just laughed it off. Around this time, again, right after sex, maybe a week before her cucking fantasy… “my co-worker says he masturbates …
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 03:05 AM
3

A whole lot of these apply to my ex. The GLP-1 (Zepbound) was the final nail in the coffin for our marriage. Things were relatively good, until she started taking the GLP-1 in the beginning of 2025 (which she never told me she was taking until it became obvious). That's when the thirst traps started up, new hairstyles, comments about other men, suggesting I become a cuck, suggesting I get a "hall pass" to bang other women on an upcoming military deployment,....... Not sure if she took the GLP-1 …
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 11:32 PM
2

Mornings are the worst for me. It’s when it hits me the hardest.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 04:23 PM
6

It’s been a rough 10 months. Divorce finalized last Friday. Been in therapy because of how this all ended
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 03:47 PM
10

Starting a GLP-1 without even talking to me about it Increased social media usage especially post-GLP-1…. Eventually posting things like #hideyourhusbands…. Knowing I don’t have social media Out of nowhere they start sending you nudes (post GLP-1) Huge increase in sex drive (Post GLP-1) Saying they have a fantasy of cucking you (post GLP-1) Saying her co-worker masturbates to the thought of her (Post GLP-1) Suggesting I deserve a “hall pass” to have sex with other women on an upcoming military d…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/26 03:03 PM
2

She did not contribute to the down payment ($20k). Judge said because we were house shopping together (3 years prior to the marriage), and we moved in together he is treating it as marital hence the big chunk at $60k for her buyout. She has a great job making $125k/year. Similar income to me. Absolute BS
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 11:06 AM
4

I feel you brother. I am 37, no kids. My divorce was finalized yesterday after 10 months of a long difficult process (this was a high-conflict divorce since she was completely uncooperative.... it went all the way to trial). I chose to keep my home (pre-marital asset, I paid off a big chunk of the balance and low-interest rate). I did have to pay her out $60k of equity which sucks (Connecticut blows)
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/26 03:22 AM
2

Hard lesson learned!
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 04:09 PM
3

She was granted 50% of the equity gained during the duration of the marriage even though I bought the home 3 years prior.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 08:50 PM
2

$45k in equity of the home
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 07:45 PM
1

Because Connecticut sucks
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 03:58 AM
2

Not only money but your peace and mental health. My divorce is heading to trial now. No kids. Pre-marital home. 10 months into this. She has no shame
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/26 03:57 AM
3

Prenups help. But they have proven to not be 100% fail safe the longer the marriage is.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 02:29 PM
4

Clarity always comes. Whether it’s after 5 days, months, years. Once you look at the reality of the situation, you realize the person you were with was a facade.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 02:27 PM
17

Doesn’t matter. They can meet all those requirements…… and still switch up years later. Not worth the gamble.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 02:16 PM
19

Even if you both make similar pay you get screwed. Me: we both make nearly same income. No kids. My home is a pre-marital asset. My name is solely on deed/mortgage. She cheats, files, and now I have to buy her out on the equity gained during the marriage (which was a LOT between 2020-2025). She gets a nice fat buyout. Never again.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 02:12 PM
8

Better than nothing but not strong enough. Prenup will protect short term marriages. They have proven to be weak the longer the marriage is…. Sometimes even completely irrelevant in the judge’s eyes.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 11:20 AM
29

Hardest lesson I ever learned NEVER enter a contract where someone (woman) is rewarded for breaking it. Marriage is a farce
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/26 11:18 AM
2

It sounds like we married the same woman. Wild!
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 02:21 PM
11

They can switch up at anytime
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 12:46 PM
9

After how my marriage ended, witnessed how other’s marriages ended and what I witnessed hopping into the current dating environment, I will admit I have opened my eyes to what’s happening and I am overall unimpressed with women as a trusting romantic partner (no, I am not going to explore other romantic avenues). I recognize that it’s a bigoted red pilled stance and have removed myself entirely from the dating market because of it. I am in therapy to process it and work through it and maybe get …
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/26 12:16 PM
2

Sucks but even if her name wasn’t on it you still get screwed in some states… such as where I live in CT. She is entitled to a portion of the equity. Never again.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 05:09 PM
1

Sorry to hear. Was the home pre-marital asset? Are you both on the mortgage?
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 04:44 PM
3

This further proves how much of a POS she is. This happened to my friend in his divorce. I felt so bad for him. I set the tone immediately after I called my STBXW out on her cheating and she filed for divorce. Do NOT disrespect the home (bringing men over) while your cheating despicable self lives in the spare bedroom I made it known EVERYDAY “did you find a place yet? When are you leaving? Try harder” She lasted 3 weeks before she moved out. It’s my home, pre-marital asset (I will have to buy h…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 02:47 AM
2

Brother, I am here for you. My STBXW was cheating with multiple men and it ramped up right before I was due to go on my 4th deployment. I am so grateful I found out before I left. Command told me to sit this one out and fight this fight. I will NEVER forgive her for screwing this tour up for me. My boys out there now getting action with everything that’s going on and I can’t be there with them. Will never forgive her selfish deceitful lying existence for this.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 02:33 AM
7

Exactly brother. This type of behavior is more fuel that will HELP this man overcome because it’s further showing how despicable she is. Our man doesn’t know it yet since it is so fresh for him but he gonna realize in due time these types of pathetic actions from his STBXW will help him long term. She continues to display how low value she is!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 02:26 AM
3

Sex is overrated for the most part brother. Don’t link your value up as a man to sex. Yea, sure, it’s fun…. Sometimes. I’m at a point where I couldn’t care less if I never had sex again. Juice ain’t worth the squeeze honestly. Lots of headache for a few minutes of pleasure.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 02:20 AM
10

Trial on Friday. Hoping the misery ends.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 02:10 AM
2

Hey man, I hopped right onto the apps as soon as my cheating STBXW left my home. You aren’t missing out on anything! It’s trash out there. I deleted the apps a few months in. I honestly suggest a dog if you can brother. The companionship is priceless.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 02:08 AM
9

This right here is despicable. I remember telling my cheater to not disrespect the home while her disgusting self lived in the spare bedroom for a month. However, she did laugh and giggle on the phone in front of me clearly with other men talking about date night plans (she would even raise her voice knowing I was coming up the stairs so I could hear her). What your STBXW did, happened to a good friend of mine when he was going through his divorce. I really felt for him. It just further proves y…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 02:02 AM
10

10 years with someone who discarded me like trash in the end and is trying to rape me financially. No kids, so it is time for ME to be selfish…. But, I’m not going to date. Been hitting the gym consistently making noticeable gains. Therapy once a week to process. Tried skiing for the first time. I plan on riding my motorcycle a lot this season doing more trips. Travel. Build a classic truck. Eventually, get a dog (STBXW took both dogs…. One of which died in her care after she left). I hopped rig…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/26 01:23 AM
4

That is happening to my pre-marital home… but, her greedy stupid self is furious that my attorney and I are looking at her significant contributions to her 401k during the marriage. She padded her 401k while I paid the mortgage. Typical. She really thought she could take all my stuff and walk and I couldn’t touch her stuff. Her 401k contributions should help balance out whatever I owe her in the house equity.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 06:02 PM
9

I unwelcome you to the club….. because I hate to see another man bamboozled by the typical female narcissist (bla bla “they weren’t diagnosed” bla bla)….. she is most likely cheating too. Sorry brother
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 05:11 PM
11

I sometimes imagine the scene in Godfather II when Michael Corleone calmly shuts the door in Kate’s face without saying a word and selfishly imagine something similar to my STBXW showing up at the beautiful home she was once sharing with me, ringing the doorbell and apologizing for her disgusting acts of betrayal…. But then I wake up and realize she is most likely a covert narcissist who has never shown any ounce of accountability or empathy.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 06:55 PM
6

3x is rough man, I feel for you. This is why I admit, and I know it is “red pilled” but, after what happened to me, and how my 5 year marriage/10 year relationship ended in such an abrupt, cruel and humiliating way, I don’t respect or like most modern American woman because the stories all seem extremely common and all so familiar. Call me bigoted, misogynistic etc, I just don’t care. I like my dog, motorcycles, friends/family and my peace.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 09:45 AM
4

Because they are phony, frauds and manipulators.... trying to manipulate their "audience" into thinking they are the victim.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 01:20 AM
7

Another woman who doesn't understand commitment and loyalty towards their marriage and husband. Selfish cowards. Sorry man
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 01:17 AM
5

It’s completely understandable brother. I am grateful for not having kids with my STBXW because I am able to go complete no-contact and keep shit like this out of site out of mind. You are obviously a good dad being there for your kids. I am truly done with women completely. I know it is completely red pilled, I recognize that. But it is shit like this that really puts me off to most of them. If the shoe were on the other foot, I bet you wouldn’t be getting a woman’s number at your kids basketba…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/26 07:52 PM
1

Yup! I have been off the apps now for a few months. I made a promise to myself to not hop back on them until after my divorce is finalized. But, after reading what's actually going on over at r/AWDTSGisToxic I am choosing to just not participate ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 09:11 PM
7

I don’t care how she feels or, if she will be better or worse post divorce. Her actions and behavior in the end was all I needed to know. I don’t wish her well or bad, since I simply don’t care. No children with her so I know it’s easier to have this mindset.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 02:13 AM
2

The “switch flip” was brutal. Insane. Still feels like a complete nightmare 9 months down the road since this all started.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 07:51 PM
8

I wouldn't really consider that narcissistic. Instead, it was a signal that things were off in the relationship. My STBXW and I agreed to not have children. I even got a vasectomy. Then, after she cheated on me and I was delusional thinking I could "save the marriage", I scheduled a counseling session which she surprisingly agreed to go to with me. Counselor: "do you guys have children" Her: "no, but with the right man I would". Oof.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 06:49 PM
4

My STBXW wants to keep my last name…. No kids. Cant blame her…. Her maiden name is a literal synonym to trash, garbage and filth. I will not state her maiden name for privacy. She should change her name back though…. It’s VERY fitting!
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 05:19 PM
2

Yes! Also, someone here in this sub said something that stuck with me. I saved the quote to my phone: “ Things you think are positives, bring value, or show love to the other person, could be considered a non-factor to the other person. Things you don't consider important could be everything to the other person.” That to me is tragic. I know I did a LOT for her out of good intention and faith. I believe she just didn’t value it. Whether that be because of different “love languages” or poor commu…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 11:39 PM
7

As soon as she had noticeable weight loss it was game over. She even admitted she got addicted to the outside male attention…. But no remorse. Huge blow to my self esteem initially since I viewed it as I was good enough when she was fat but now I’m not. I gradually got out of that destructive mindset. I was always and still am in great shape with an athletic build so it wasn’t like I was lacking and she was “improving”.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 03:22 PM
3

My STBXW is full blown in the hoe phase too. I figured she left for another man since she had a great home here. Instead, she downgraded hard to a 2nd floor 1 bedroom rental in a crummy area with $32k of debt 4 credit cards maxed out. She is on all the dating apps. She clearly wants to play the field at 35 due to the newfound confidence with the weight loss. Every month that goes by I care less and less.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 01:37 AM
7

Not only do they bail and discard…. They blame it all on YOU.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 12:17 PM
19

They detach from you and the marriage months or even years before they drop the D on you (and almost always have someone to monkey branch to). It’s their selfish nature brother.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 02:29 AM
2

This. I hopped right on the apps after she left. Had some fun and had sex, but, it was mostly depressing. Just filling a big void. Deleted all the apps. That's when the reality truly hit and a HUGE wave of grief and depression hit. I got myself into therapy immediately. I have been putting the hard work in now and not dating for a while. Therapy, gym, tracking calories, picked up skiing, friends, family, eventually a LOT of motorcycle trips to come this season and focusing on work. A classic tru…
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 12:50 AM
4

As an empathetic loyal to the death person, this crushed me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 12:39 AM
5

I feel for you brother. This is why I am actually happy my wife turned into a cheating selfish POS in the end…. It made no contact easier! Gym, hobbies, family/friends and no, I personally believe quitting work completely during this time is not good.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 08:08 PM
6

Yup. Communication was the foundational decay of my marriage and we are both to blame. Once she started a GLP-1 however, that’s when the infidelity started…. I ain’t taking any blame for that.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 07:10 PM
2

My STBXW changed rapidly in the span of a few months after starting a GLP-1. Some bizarre comments about other men and some shady behavior later….
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 07:04 PM
3

“Things you think are positives, bring value, or show love to the other person, could be considered a non-factor to the other person. Things you don't consider important could be everything to the other person.” Absolutely this! I did a LOT for her, but, in the end, it wasn’t actually received, I still “failed”. It’s tragic really. Healthy communication could have solved 99.99% of these issues! I won’t take fault for her infidelity though….
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 07:00 PM
5

The mom thing hits. My STBXW’s mother brags to this day about her ex (who is dead) about how she got everything out of the divorce (“I even got the lawn mower!”). She showed up to his funeral which is ironic. I never met the guy but he was destroyed. He was a mobile welder and from other people I talked to he was a good man. My STBXW never spoke too highly of him…. In fact, during the early part of the divorce she said “you remind me of my father”. Her mom was selfish and abusive (physically and…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 06:48 PM
23

You can honor the institution of marriage, actually take the vows seriously and live by the “til death do us part” but, the person standing in front of you is not you. You can be betrayed at the drop of a hat. Trust no one From time to time it may be wise to have a conversation with yourself and ask “what if this person was to exit? Can I carry on?”……
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 05:57 PM
8

Mine celebrated on social media. The week after she filed, she posted on her instagram “#post breakup glowup”. She also admitted her thoughts to me about marriage in the end “marriage is just a piece of paper”. Good riddance
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 05:49 PM
12

No, YOU are clueless. The effort she put into being promiscuous and hiding the BS from her STBXH could have been put towards clearly communicating WTF is going on with her emotions and a cry for help and path forward to fix the marriage with her husband. Nah.... instead, let's cheat!
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 04:49 PM
9

I have had enough too. I went on several dates once the cheating ex moved out thinking there’s gotta be a good one out there. It’s very underwhelming. I figure I escaped as best I could since we didn’t have children. I will eventually get a dog to fill the void of companionship. I can’t trust women anymore. My sister also cheated on her husband.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 01:14 PM
3

No
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 11:59 AM
4

Most of us here have been in your shoes, one way or another. Your self esteem and self worth right now are in the toilet, that’s normal. It will take time and hard work but you will have to eventually pull yourself out of that negative mindset. My STBXW lost a lot of weight on a GLP-1, got “hot” and then cheated on me so I know how as a man it messes with our confidence. Remember though, “she will have no problem finding another man”….. of course not. She won’t need to put in any effort. Nearly …
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 11:48 AM
2

9 months in. Hoping for it all to be done next month (no kids). I made great gains in the gym already, started skiing and still socializing but…. I had to enroll myself in therapy. I ruminate constantly. The rejection hurts and my esteem/self confidence took a hit since she cheated and then made fun of me sexually on the way out. 10 years together. Poof.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 06:04 PM
2

Well she is dumb. I figured she "leveled up" with a doctor or something (she works at a hospital). Instead, she left a beautiful home to live in a 2nd floor dumpy rental with 2 dogs (one of which died in her care shortly after), racked up $32k in credit card debt on 4 cards all maxed out, overdrafted her checking account and i found out she is on all the dating apps. If hypergamy is leaving a solid dynamic of 10 years to hop on the D carousel at 35 years old I guess "you go girl"?
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 01:29 AM
5

I agree with all of this, but the problem is we were all duped and blinded by "love". 10 years ago I wasn't lurking on the Divorce_Men subreddit. I wasn't reading up on these statistics. Something I have to take self-accountability for. I can wholeheartedly say I will never get married again. I won't take a risk to be fooled twice. FWB? Absolutely. For loyal companionship I will get a dog (STBXW took both our dogs, and one died in her care a few months after she left). I will be traveling and en…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 10:11 PM
6

Heck I even found self accountability for things I could have done better in the marriage even after she cheated and abruptly filed for divorce. But, I will never take accountability for her actions to cheat and her actions when co-living here before she moved out. She has shown zero self accountability for the failure of the marriage and her actions…. None.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:00 PM
4

Absolutely. I recognize, as hard as it is, my STBXW probably was content with me and the marriage but didn’t have burning desire for me after we were dating. Whatever her “type” is she may have access to now. But, like you said, I highly doubt these “Chads and Tyrones” that she wants is gonna wife up a divorced 35 y/o who takes Zepbound, Zoloft and has a busted up knee. Pump and dump.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 02:26 AM
9

The problem is with the rise of GLP-1 there will be more of this. As far as I know, there is no required therapy or warning label that it may end your marriage…. I believe those things are part of the pre-op for the surgeries. It’s a brutal way for a marriage to end because as the man you are basically left humiliated while the more physically attractive version of who you thought was is now hopping on the D carousel. Hell, my STBXW during her exit told me sex was awful with me and a kink we bot…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 02:15 AM
3

I love a happy ending happy for you man!
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:38 AM
9

Yes. My self esteem and self worth as a man plummeted because of how it ended (she lost a bunch of weight on a GLP-1, got hot, most likely cheated and then divorced me). Before all this she said she wanted to cuck me and she told me her coworker masturbates to the thought of her. She also told me sex sucked with me. 10 years. I am in therapy and the gym.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:32 AM
4

It’s like a 80% risk of being a marriage killer. Wild stuff
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:26 AM
12

Look at my post history. Zepbound divorce. Message me if you need to talk! It’s so heartbreaking brother 10 years together. 5 married. She always had low self esteem with her body. Started Zepbound beginning of 2025. Lost like 80 lbs. Caught on to shady behavior, called her out on it and she immediately filed for divorce in June. No remorse. No empathy. Shortly before that she was hinting aggressively at opening up the marriage (out of nowhere she shared a fantasy of hers of her cucking me…. Gro…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:06 AM
8

I learned to not marry an overweight girl. Once they start a weight loss medication or surgery you are thrown away like trash and humiliated. Also, her childhood matters. Also, it’s probably a bad sign she has zero friends (her maid of honor was her sister and bridesmaids my two sisters whom she didn’t even get along with). Also, if it’s NEVER their fault for anything that’s a bad sign. Addicted to social media 24/7 isn’t good. Not good if she had no relationship/bad relationship with her father…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 12:55 AM
19

You are witnessing selfishness from the front row seat. Remember, over 70% of divorces are initiated by women. It seems to be from what I am now experiencing, witnessed several people experience and of course those of us here on Reddit, most divorces seem to be initiated by women due to pure selfishness (affairs, grass is greener syndrome, midlife crisis, fantasy/fairy tales, social media influence, etc).
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 11:17 AM
2

It’s so shallow and disgusting honestly but it’s their freewill. It’s a huge slap in the face to someone who stood by them when they were not at their best physically. I can confidently say I’m an attractive enough looking guy with a good career, morals, social skills etc….. but I’m short at 5’7 with a receding hairline. Whatever “type” she really always wanted maybe is now within her reach. It really sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 11:06 AM
8

In a big way and here’s why. I was married to a project. My STBXW was always overweight. I was always in good shape. I looked past it (nice guy syndrome). Well, that bit me in the ass big time. She started a GLP-1 in the beginning of 2025. Few months later she started dropping subtle hints about other men. In June she filed for divorce and left. I married someone with low self esteem due to how she viewed herself regardless of how many times I told her she was beautiful. She got confident with t…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 02:10 AM
5

In my case, the physical affection actually went from barely anything to her coming home and initiating intense BJs. I was so happy! Turns out, she was doing that since she was horny about her affair(s) behind the scenes. The secrecy turned her on. She wasn’t horny for me. It really messed with my confidence and self esteem for a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 02:04 AM
1

My STBXW the last day she was here before she moved out forever…. I remember asking her point blank “what is it you are actually seeking?” Her: “I dunno… a fairy tale” 35 y/o grown woman.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 11:31 PM
2

Mine did that too, and then I discovered she maxed out 4 credit cards racking up $32k in debt and overdrafted her account multiple times buying nonsense. She makes more money than I do working as an MRI tech. Zero excuse!
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 11:28 PM
1

If my STBXW were an actual truthful person her reason should be because “I want to ride the D train and experience new D, I’d like to transfer from a housewife to a ho”. Instead, her reasons are because it’s all my fault she hinted at opening the marriage which I shutdown and therefore cheated after she lost some weight and I called her out on her behavior therefore I should be “punished”.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 11:24 PM
4

The word gets thrown around a lot but I truly believe a lot of it does have to do with some deep seated personality issues (narcissism, borderline etc) and probably childhood trauma or how they were raised. Looking back, my wife had childhood trauma (she claims she was sexually assaulted by one of her mother’s several boyfriends). And that there too… several boyfriends, she witnessed a bad divorce and then her mom cycle thru men. My STBXW failed to have any friendships outside of me…. Literally …
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 10:26 PM
8

The pure evil slept next to me for 10 years. I know and have encountered a lot of people in my lifetime… so far she is the worst person I have ever met all based on her actions.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 08:44 PM
16

Yup, I am doing OK on the surface 9 months in since D day started but I am still not OK. I enrolled myself into therapy. Maybe I can gain a new perspective on how to move forward with self-confidence and esteem. It's the beating a man when he is down that hurts the most. The beatings from the courts, from the cheater, from society.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 07:39 PM
1

This. I am 9 months in since D day. We all went through the self-blame. Could we have maybe done some things better during the marriage? Absolutely. And as men, we take accountability for that. Something my STBXW and probably everyone's here can't do.... taking accountability. But, the cheating, lying, manipulation and betrayal? It's abuse. You take no accountability for that, ever.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 07:07 PM
1

John is a great platform of wisdom for the male perspective on divorce
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 06:52 PM
2

Mine within about 3 weeks before D day expressed heavy interest in learning to ride a motorcycle so she could start riding with me. This was a big deal to me since I'm an avid rider. I was looking forward to it so much. I purchased a cheap little starter bike for her to learn on. D day happened before she got any seat time.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 06:44 PM
1

I point blank asked my STBXW her last day in my home “what is it you are actually looking for?”. Her: “I don’t know…. A fairy tale” Her current fairy tale is living in a 2nd floor rental, $32k in credit card debt (4 cards all maxed out). Overdrafted checking account, a dog she took from me that died in her care the week before Christmas and dating apps. She left a beautiful home, garage to park her car and someone who truly loved her. All because she hopped on the validation train after she took…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 10:54 PM
5

This right here man. My STBXW and I also had fun plans, dates, planning a vacation together etc right before her abrupt discard after I calmly confronted her on behavior that came to surface that was absolutely most likely an affair. People always say “yoU miSseD tHe SiGNs”. Not always! Does a woman that is planning to buy a house by the sea with her husband show clear signs she is checking out and cheating on you? No. Cheaters want their cake and to eat it too as they string you along. It’s abu…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 12:35 PM
7

I feel you man! I am 9 months in since my STBXW discarded me after she was clearly messing around with other men after she lost a bunch of weight on a medication. I just made a post here the other day explaining how even at 9 months in, I had to re-enroll myself into therapy after I thought I was ok. I’m not…. Yet. Remember, most of what we are going through isn’t just divorce…. It’s abuse.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 12:26 PM
1

Mine hinted at some twisted form of non-monogamy as well shortly before she discarded me
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 12:19 PM
2

Same man. This wasn’t what I would consider a “slow drift”. It was a hasty very abrupt and reckless decision that I had no say in. How do you go from having a good dinner date the night before as my arms were wrapped around her as we waited for a table to divorce? How is it she planned a Lake George trip for us the week before and we booked a hotel and planned out the vacation that never ended up happening because she fled? I caught onto the behavior and I think she just couldn’t face the guilt …
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/26 03:08 AM
3

I hopped on online dating immediately after she moved out in July and had some fun. Felt good in the moment and then empty. I took a break from it and made a commitment to myself to not hop back in until the divorce is completely final.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 12:43 PM
18

Because typically they are rewarded. Rewarded by the courts Rewarded by society Rewarded by endless options in the online dating scene if you are just an average at best looking woman I took the marriage vows much differently than my STBXW. “Marriage is just a piece of paper” - My STBXW after she filed
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 09:59 PM
2

Stay strong brother. You have 37k members here who understand the value you brought/bring to the table!
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 08:31 PM
16

Calm down “dude”. This subreddit is full of men going through possibly the worst moment of their lives. They are allowed to make some “mistakes”. Your comment adds nothing but disrespect.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 06:50 PM
3

Yup, mine hinted heavily at clearly an open marriage after she lost a bunch of weight on a GLP-1. Some more shady behavior later, I called her out on it all and she abruptly filed for divorce and left. Weight loss and some validation from another man/men was all it took. She wanted her cake and eat it too. Deceitful scum.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 06:03 PM
2

Yup, mine would purposely raise her voice while on the phone in the spare bedroom while clearly talking to another man giggling and laughing about a date night when she knew I was home. I made it very uncomfortable for her too thankfully by asking her daily “DID YOU FIND A PLACE YET?!” and she moved out in 1 month to live her hoe phase outta sight/outta mind in a dumpy apartment while I stay in my home. Narcissistic behavior to the max.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 05:58 PM
2

Or, they string you along making you think everything is fine and they love you. Even planning vacations with you and having good date nights. Then, you find clues they are cheating on you, you call them out on it and they instantly “flip the switch”, blame it all on you and file for divorce and flee in the most cold and cruel way possible.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 05:54 PM
4

Step 1 is stop comparing yourself to your ex. She having a boyfriend, having sex, whoring it up etc shouldn’t even matter. None of that should be impacting you and if it is you need to get to a place where you simply DGAF. What you need to also realize is your ex is in a rebound. It will be nice for her, for now. It will crash. And while she is taking the easy route, you are rebuilding. The slow steady way. And when you get to that place, you will attract quality people, not rebounds. It will ta…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 04:32 PM
2

Right on about the advice portion. I have one for you: Few years ago we were car shopping for her. I sat back as she test drove various models. Now, I’m a car guy. It’s my thing. Long story short, it came down to a car she wanted. While the dealer was out back gathering paperwork and things I calmly suggested the purchase she was about to make wasn’t going to be a good one and laid out reasons why but I respect your decision. “Nope, this is the car I want”. Roger that. Two days later, we are bac…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 12:12 AM
6

Will never get married again. I feel for you all who have kids and I feel for the kids. I got LUCKY not having kids with the cheater. I also learned she had demonstrated financial infidelity on the discovery of her $33k in credit card debt purchasing nonsense. Mediocre sex, some companionship and a few vacations was not worth what came in the end!
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 11:11 PM
3

I’m in the same position. Blindsiding divorce after I called her out on behavior hinting at other men. She filed in June, moved out in July. Zero empathy, zero remorse, zero explanation. She is on all the dating apps. She lost a crazy amount of weight with GLP-1. She had childhood trauma and issues with depression (Zoloft). I think she had some type of mental breakdown with the weight loss and new attention and with me catching on to her behavior she just fled. She is in some dumpy apartment. Sh…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/26 03:47 PM
1

I’m 37 soon to FINALLY be at the finish line with this divorce… also no kids. I have been on several dates since it all started. Zero issues… I never bring it up. If it does get brought up I am honest… never an issue. The apps as I’m sure you have heard are very hit/miss. Be ready for lots of ghosting. Also, be ready to have your profile posted on your local “Are we Dating the Same Guy” Facebook groups where bitter women will judge and ridicule you. Dating in 2026 isn’t too great I must say, hav…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 03:28 PM
7

My STBXW posted me up on the local “Are we Dating the Same Guy” Facebook group (insanely toxic groups btw), spreading kinks I had. I know it’s her because I have yet to share them with anyone since I haven’t been intimate enough with anyone since the divorce process. Unfortunately, I have no proof it is her (posted anonymously). I found out thru a sister’s friend which is super embarassing. It further proves the type of women they are and how we are now better off without them.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 03:45 PM
5

Don’t get married Most women are promiscuous and not loyal. Never assume she is yours just because of marriage. Only loyal to their feelings and loyal to extracting everything from you when they throw you away like trash. You are competing with a rigged system with the courts and constant validation from people on their social media so they always have a wandering eye for that “greener grass”.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/26 01:54 PM
3

Absolutely. But, unfortunately for me, between 2020 and 2025 (the duration of the marriage) that equity skyrocketed like crazy due to the market shift. Is what it is
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 03:51 PM
1

This
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 03:48 PM
14

Let it go brother. It really doesn’t matter anymore. I felt like you when this all started for me back in June. It is the ultimate jab to your pride, how you see yourself as a man etc. I get it 100% You will get to a point where even the most intrusive thoughts of your STBXW having sex with other men, sexual acts etc don’t even matter. My ex is probably getting her back blown out getting trains ran on her and I just don’t care anymore. It doesn’t matter to me. I am fighting for my home and getti…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 03:47 PM
10

100% I bought my home with my hard earned money including 3 combat deployments. She moved in with me lived here 3 years and then we got married. She built up her retirement. Got a masters degree. Cheats on me and now she wants half the equity out of the home. I offered her a generous buyout but she wants more. Logically she didn’t earn anywhere close to that. Legally, she will get close to it. And I don’t have kids. I really feel for you guys having to deal with that aspect with divorce. I truly…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 03:13 PM
–

Yessir I have had a lawyer since the beginning. She is entitled to a portion of the equity during the marriage. Unfortunately for me, married in 2020… she filed in 2025. Housing market boom during the duration of the marriage. I bought the home in 2017 for $240k. It’s now worth roughly $400k (we have had 3 appraisals done). Most I did was have some vinyl floors installed and a new kitchen counter and backsplash. She wants some equity so then I want some of her retirement contributions. She has n…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 03:05 PM
1

Gym. Put all that anger and hurt into transforming your body. This will also help your confidence, your energy, your mood.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 02:22 PM
0

https://youtu.be/7yNAD8jefxE?si=kuAEnZ1Xju7dTJG8 Level up fellas. See you in the gym!!!
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/26 12:57 AM
9

My ex was deep in TikTok the final year before she blew up the marriage. She continues to repost post-breakup bullshit to this day (yes, I know it isn’t good to peek).
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 08:37 PM
18

Yup. In my case, she started taking a GLP-1. Lost a good amount of weight. She started hinting at attention from other men and other bizarre sexual comments about other men. Some other shady behavior later such as deleting camera footage of her coming/going while I was away for the weekend and then poof, she filed for divorce, blamed it all on me and left. 10 years down the drain. I look back at it 8 months later and still wondering wtf happened….. I think I know exactly what happened but I stil…
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/26 07:32 PM
23

Every. Single. Time. No exaggeration either. Every single one I have been on a date with describes their ex as an “abusive narcissist”. I have a whole lot to say about my ex wife after I found out she was cheating on me, and then discarded me like trash, but I never bash her when the topic comes up during a date. If they are labeling their ex “narcissist” then YOU will be the next “narcissist” in their story once things get rocky. Red flag. Update: these women also bash their ex husbands sexuall…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/26 03:58 PM
1

It's a form of narcissistic abuse: Deny: The perpetrator denies that the abuse or harmful behavior occurred. Attack: The perpetrator attacks the person confronting them, questioning their credibility, motives, or sanity. Reverse Victim and Offender (RVO): The perpetrator manipulates the narrative to present themselves as the true victim, while the actual victim is portrayed as the offender .
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 02:33 PM
7

I am also military (Air Force) and my STBXW dropped the bomb on me back in May. She moved out in July having zero interest in fixing anything. I lost my dogs. I also missed out on a really cool deployment because of all this. I was spinning up to deploy. When I told command, my Commander (who has been through divorce) told me "Sit this one out, this will be one of the toughest moments of your life, can't have your focus elsewhere in a combat zone". I was pissed, but now, looking back, that was a…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 02:06 PM
3

Same brother. She left with my 2 dogs (one of them died a few months after she left) in July after I caught on to her shady behavior and most likely absolutely infidelity. The silence was unbearable at first. But now, I kind of enjoy it. It happened quick. I enjoyed our marriage, but, once she started taking a GLP-1 her behavior changed quickly. I can’t believe who she became (or maybe she wore a “mask” all these years when she was heavier).
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 10:43 PM
5

Yup. My STBXW texted me after a long period of no contact to “meet for coffee” before a 2nd court appearance. We also both have attorneys so WTF would she want to meet with me for? We don’t have kids and she is a cheater who can’t be trusted. I ignored. Less than an hour later she sent an aggressive follow up “I’d appreciate a response, a simple yes/no would be nice”. I blocked her after that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 05:56 PM
2

Same! I am 37 and had a vasectomy at 35. My STBXW and I never wanted kids…. Thank GOODNESS I never had kids with her!!!
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 05:53 PM
2

Motion for continuance was filed for March. My attorney does not want to go to trial. We have everything we need now to come to an agreement. Hoping soon!
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 09:17 PM
2

I am also in CT. No kids. House is in my name solely. She moved out to an apartment in July. We both had to hire attorneys upfront since she has been completely greedy and uncooperative. She is the one who filed after I called her out on shady behavior and most likely a full blown affair. She filed June 4th. We are still in this long dreaded process. Been to court 3 times already. Three appraisals (our first two had a $97k difference).
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 09:07 PM
2

None of us want to go to trial. I know I certainly don’t!
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 06:35 PM
2

I'm in no rush. If anything, she is the one who would want to speed things up as she is living in a dumpy rental. Me? I'm living comfortably in my beautiful home she left behind after she cheated and filed.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 06:19 AM
1

The wait is worth it especially since I am in no rush to pay her out on the equity of my home. She moved out in July to some dumpy rental while I live comfortably in my big house. Instead of accepting a very fair buyout she was greedy. We could have had this done MONTHS ago with no attorneys (we have no kids!). Any extra she thinks she is getting will be wasted on her attorney and rental.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 01:52 AM
1

And that’s what pains me. To her, she felt I emotionally neglected her. To me, I was doing things for her that she either didn’t realize or, as you stated, to her was just a “bonus”. Shoulda/coulda/woulda…. I do wish I could have went back and been more romantic and spontaneous like I was early on in the relationship. Spend more quality time. I got too comfortable. I own that. And it’s a hard pill to swallow. However, I will never own her shady actions and the way she treated me in the end and d…
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 12:22 PM
1

How do I sound weak? I went complete no-contact once she filed and told her to GTFO of my house and she did. Now, I am fighting her in court to keep the buyout as low as possible. I have since dated several women and have had fun. How is my comment above about wishing my STBXW communicated her feelings “sounding weak”?
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 05:14 PM
3

Facts. If the shoe were on the other foot I would never silently check out from her unless it was due to major circumstances which I would have clearly communicated prior to divorce!
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 05:01 PM
7

She actually told me “the person you knew is gone and the type of love I crave doesn’t exist”.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 05:06 AM
8

just wish she communicated what it was instead of building up resentment i never knew about. Maybe i could have provided whatever it was
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 03:47 AM
7

Same! I truly loved the lifestyle. I honestly thought we had a decent balance for a marriage. She never communicated her built up resentment towards it!
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 03:40 AM
8

slipping into routine. Work, home, eat, sleep, repeat. We would date but I wasn't being very spontaneous like I was when I was dating her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 03:25 AM
9

I couldn’t imagine living with dignity as a “man” pursuing a married woman and scheming/planning the divorce with her. Absolutely disgusting. Sorry brother
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 02:32 AM
2

https://youtu.be/UHvaVEsfaz8?si=sJdnnxl4QAea3Pyc I'm not playing the game anymore. Time for a dog and ride my motorcycle more
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 10:50 PM
3

That's what happened to me!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 10:48 PM
2

https://youtu.be/UHvaVEsfaz8?si=sJdnnxl4QAea3Pyc Super cringe! Unfortunately, I heard the man did not win the case (this is California so there's that)
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 10:47 PM
3

Their own worst enemy!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 09:42 PM
3

That’s actually a solid mindset. I gotta just let it be and not effect me
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 07:13 PM
3

Learning that quickly! Dating is wayyy different than I remember!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 02:17 PM
2

Yup. It’s a game I don’t want to play. Man how times have changed!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 02:16 PM
10

The doxing is real with online dating I am starting to realize. I guess it really is best to just stay single after divorce!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 01:54 AM
2

In the end, my wife said “marriage is just a piece of paper”. Didn’t feel that way when she pushed for the stupidly expensive wedding day instead of taking my suggestion to have something small and put the saved money into travel, the home, savings, whatever. Most modern women marry for a wedding…. NOT for a genuine marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 01:47 PM
1

Same happened to me brother. 10 years together. Poof. I have a strong inclination as to why however…. Several hints to an affair/her wanting to open up the marriage after she dropped weight on GLP-1. Once I expressed my concern about it the switch was flipped and she was gone….. Gone to go on dating apps. To leave a beautiful home to live in a crummy 2nd floor rental. None of it makes any sense. Luckily no children!
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 01:33 PM
3

OP is in La La land!
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 05:10 PM
8

Right. You realize a lot of these divorces are due to infidelity? You think you can reason with and trust a cheater to be fair and equitable? Your LaLa land may be great for YOU but for many of us here it isn’t as simple as you dumb it down to be.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 04:43 PM
6

Yup. I’m doing all the same stuff you mentioned connecting with friends, hobbies, work etc. My marriage and life as I knew it blew up in May when I discovered my ex was a whore. It’s a tough time of year too. Just after the holidays. Dead of winter. The gym as cliche as it sounds is really a necessity IMO or anything physically beneficial such as running. It really has been a game changer for me. I take dating very casually and lightly and will for a long time but I do find enjoyment in it so fa…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 12:31 AM
6

The day after…. The DAY after she filed for divorce while still living in my house, she posted a selfie after getting her hair done with my house as a background …. The asset we would be battling on the equity in court…. “Post breakup glow up”. A complete mockery of a decade together. Good riddance
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 12:57 PM
9

Yup. Sounds about right. I offered my STBXW back in May when she filed a very generous $30k buyout and whatever it was she wanted out of the home she could take with her. We have no kids. Married less than 5 years. She said no. Instead, we both get bled dry by lawyers, and, her stupid self moved out to a rental back in July. She could have taken that $30k and put a down payment on a condo, home, payoff her car… and this would have been over months ago with no lawyers. Any extra money she gets wi…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 04:41 PM
7

My wife did the same exact thing after I did the "pick me dance" after discovering she was talking to other men. I scheduled a couples therapy session and surprisingly she agreed to go. She destroyed me in that session. We both agreed not to have kids years ago. I had a vasectomy. Counselor "do you have children?" STBXW: "no, we agreed not to, but with the right man, I would" Bringing a narcissistic spouse to a therapy session will be damaging..... but.... eye opening. I stopped "fighting for th…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 03:36 AM
4

Right on man. Funny you mentioned “glow up” (gosh I hate that term…. It reeks of narcissism). The day after my cheating STBXW filed, she posted a selfie in front of MY HOME (which she is battling me on the equity for in court), her hair done up, make up on….. the caption? #postbreakupglowup Celebrating the destruction of a decade long relationship (5 married) after catching onto her shady behavior with other men. Disgusting
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 10:23 PM
0

Cleaning service was the first thing I did once the cheating narc left MY home (as she is currently trying to take half the equity). It felt phenomenal getting the house spotless. It also made me realize how nasty and dirt my STBXW was. One of her deflections from her cheating was “I felt like I was a maid”…… she never cleaned!
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 08:27 PM
2

Mine "lost her mind" after she started taking Zepbound. Lost a bunch of weight, and then it turned into "i have fantasies of cucking you" and "my co-worker says he masturbates to the thought of me", and "you should get a hall-pass to mess with other women" and posting selfies saying #hideyourhusbands on instagram. This was a woman who before had such a low sex drive, and I did everything I could to spice things up. Towards the end, a few times she immediately came home and ripped off my pants to…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 06:54 PM
4

You are not the villain…. You didn’t betray. Stop comparing. Yes…. Easier said than done but stop Gym Eat right Hobbies Kill it at your profession be the absolute best role model you can be for your son Therapy Surround yourself with positive people Read
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 04:56 PM
5

Not your circus, not your monkeys bro.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 04:22 PM
12

Revisionism brother. They rewrite the entire story to make you the villain because they are cowards. I peeped my STBXW’s TikTok (it’s public and I don’t have an account so she won’t know). It’s all divorce related BS to this day (7 months since she filed). She even posted one about how “the man you meet in your 20s will be some evil narcissist”…… she is the cheating narcissist LOL Block them all. No contact with anyone on your ex’s side.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 04:07 PM
1

Thanks! It *should* be ending soon I hope!
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 11:47 PM
3

That ship has sailed. We are not amicable and not on talking terms. I offered a very generous buyout back in May before attorneys got involved. She said no. Greedy cheating narcissist. If she took that offer, we would have been done with this divorce months ago with no lawyers. She could have used that offer to put a down payment on a home, condo or pay off her car. Instead, she moved out to some crummy rental, we both get bled dry by the lawyers and the case drags on.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/26 01:36 AM
15

My STBXW reached out before our 3rd court appearance. By this point we had already hired attorneys since it was not going to be amicable (she is greedy). Her: “Hey, I was wondering if we could meet for coffee before court next week” Less than an hour later: Her: “I would appreciate a response. A yes/no would be nice”. Me: blocked her number We have no kids involved She cheated She wanted an excessive amount of equity She moved out several months ago and has not respected boundaries since and I h…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 06:56 PM
4

My STBXW is a master revisionist. It was mind blowing to see her vision of the entire decade flip. Scary stuff
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 04:28 PM
2

Man I feel for you. My situation was rough when she lived in the spare bedroom before she moved out (dressing up and going out every night, talking to men on the phone in front of me giggling and talking about sex), but she never brought a man into the home. “You respect this fucking house while you live here, don’t you bring a man into this home” is what I told her. She was pissed I basically called her a whore (well, she is, she cheated). Boohoo. As the weeks went by I sensed she was probably …
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 08:28 PM
1

The fighting is she wants half the equity of the home gained during the marriage. I want to keep the home so I’d have to buy her out. Trying to get that number as low as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 06:26 PM
9

I bought my house 3 years prior to the marriage. In my name solely. Paid every single mortgage payment solely. The housing market between 2020 (when I got married) until when divorce started in 2025 skyrocketed. In Connecticut, it doesn’t matter that it’s a pre-marital asset and that it’s solely in my name. She is still entitled to half the equity gained during the marriage. Between 2020 and 2025 that is a lot of equity. No kids so that’s good. Both of our appraisals have a $100k difference. Jud…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 12:17 AM
4

Yea, no. And nice attempt at gaslighting with your comment!
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/26 12:49 AM
3

Can’t lose if you don’t play. The game is rigged.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 07:03 PM
7

You will find most of the women we all were discarded by share very similar traits. I have gone down the rabbit hole of trying to pinpoint a term to my STBXW. Call it narcissist, avoidant, bi-polar, borderline personality disorder, sociopath etc etc etc. It doesn’t matter what official label you give. The result is the same, they failed as a wife. They lack any accountability, remorse, regret or empathy. They are people of poor character and morals who we happened to marry. Now, via the legal sy…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 05:59 PM
2

Yes the down payment portion is considered. Here is the big issue though. Married in 2020. Owned the house for 3 years prior to the marriage. Between 2020 and now the housing value skyrocketed. Bought for $240k and now it is appraised at nearly $400k! I planted a couple bushes, kitchen counter tops and two rooms with vinyl floors. The market killed me here and she knows it and loves it. If the shoe were on the other foot I would be reasonable. I would never take half the equity from my spouse’s …
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 12:45 AM
35

I'm about to pay my STBXW half the equity of my home I paid for before we got married. Most of the money I put down on my home was money I earned on two combat deployments. I paid every single mortgage payment. No kids. Yet, she is entitled to half the equity after she filed for divorce when I called her out on her affair. I will owe her at least $50k in the equity of the home gained since our marriage in 2020. Was the mediocre sex, few vacations, date nights and a bit of "companionship" worth $…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 04:22 AM
1

Don’t blame yourself brother. I got the line you mentioned in your post word for word from my STBXW “I love you but no longer IN love with you” bullshit cheaters seem to always say. Even if I was not giving her the warm and fuzzies….. she gave up a lot. She left a beautiful home with an attached garage, 50 amp service I wired in to charge her plug in hybrid, in-home gym, 1.5 acre yard to let the dogs play in…….. for an abrupt move out to a 2nd floor rental, dog (she took both dogs but just had o…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 03:40 AM
6

"I think we were just blind to who she was all along — not her, the grieved, but her, the narcissist." After reflecting on a lot of things with the marriage, dating her prior, looking at how she conducted herself with other people, family and co-workers, her impulsive purchases, medication use, toxic mother, coming from a broken home with childhood trauma, etc etc..... yes, this is who she was all along. I just loved her for who she was (the false self) and thought I could make it work. Love is …
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:59 PM
13

Yup, I made a post here in this sub reddit very similar to yours a few days ago. It is a COWARDLY act because they are secretly planning to abandon the marriage without you even knowing. Such as my cheating STBXW.... She claimed to have been unhappy for a year. 365 days. Each night you slept next to me. When we would walk our dogs together. When we would have date nights. When we would have sex. When we planned a vacation that was dated after the D-word dropped (obviously it was then cancelled).…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 06:42 PM
1

I’ve had the most luck on Hinge and FB Dating. Tinder and Bumble hasn’t led to anything for me. Never tried Feeld.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 12:01 AM
1

Nice which apps did you find worked best for you?
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 11:24 PM
2

Quite a bit honestly. I have matched with girls on the apps and chat and then they realize they don't want kids part they skipped over in my profile is relevant or I have been on dates with women and the conversation eventually comes up and they want kids.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 12:42 AM
3

I'm not opposed *if* the kids are older.... like 18+
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 12:08 AM
2

Merry Christmas! 6 months since she dropped the D-bomb and 5 months since she moved out. Next court appearance in January. Lots of ups/downs since. Today is definitely a bit of a down due to obvious reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:32 PM
1

She may “not be a terrible person” but based on her actions she is a terrible person to YOU. When people show you who they are believe them.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 02:21 AM
7

My advice is it always starts with "we can be amicable; we don't need lawyers" and then typically you start to see their true colors of greed and manipulation. Hire a lawyer to make damn sure you are getting YOUR fair share.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 01:42 PM
1

I am very sorry you had to deal with this. Let me share something that happened to me recently on a date #1 (there won’t be a date #2) Hinge date: Met this woman on Hinge. We meet for drinks. After her drink she asks me to put my hands on her thighs. I did. She took out her phone and snapped a pic of my hands on her thighs. I asked what she was doing. “I want to send this to my ex”. I paid the tab and left.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 01:04 AM
4

Good list. We deal with most likely the worst situation of our lives the best we can. That’s all you can do. My biggest regret: playing the pick me dance after I called her out on inappropriate behavior with other men. Never play the pick me dance! I walked in with evidence expecting an adult conversation. Instead I got blindsided that she was actually filing for divorce and I panicked. I did a HARD transition to strict no contact since she moved out in July so I am proud of that at least…. No k…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 12:53 AM
1

I feel you brother. Pets unfortunately are no victim to a female’s selfishness with infidelity and divorce. I lost both of my dogs…. One of which was a beautiful 1 year old American Staffordshire Terrier we raised together. I just learned she had to euthanize the other dog. No idea what happened there. When I saw the dog in July before she left my home forever she was in great health.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 12:39 AM
14

Correction: she grieved in SILENCE because they are cowards. Meanwhile we think everything is cool
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 10:02 PM
3

They get over it faster because they cowardly grieve the death of the relationship in silence behind your back and usually while sliding in the sheets with another man/men before the D word even drops. Meanwhile, the husband thinks things are cool. Thing is the true regret comes later when that grass is greener bullshit for them turns into a lie. But by that point as men we have rebuilt genuinely and strongly and with integrity unlike a hoe. So when she starts to regret it shouldn’t even matter …
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 03:59 AM
8

I am here for you brother and know the feeling. I am 6 months out since she filed and 5 months since she left. Lost my dogs... found out one of them just died in her care. Marriage blew up after I called her out on shady ass behavior with other men. DM me if you ever need to talk I will even talk with you on the phone whatever you need man.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/25 03:48 AM
4

I wish I saw this post back in May when it ended for me. But here is what I am proud of: after about a month of the pick me dance and begging and pleading after she filed, I stuck to my word. I told her as soon as she leaves this house the fight is over for me. That was back in July and I have been solid no-contact since. She texted me to "meet for coffee" before our 3rd court appearance... i ignored and blocked her number. She recently reached out to my friend's wife because she had to euthaniz…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 07:23 PM
13

Doubt it man. I went full no contact. I even blocked her number since we dont have kids. She really burned this bridge down. I blocked her number after she texted me a month ago to "meet for coffee before 2nd court appearance" but I believe that was for a pre-court manipulation tactic (which is why i blocked her number). Even if she did I would never take back someone who could walk away so abruptly and cruely and then try to bury me financially. No returns on damaged used goods
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 02:08 AM
1

I feel this so much bro. It’s infuriating
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 06:10 PM
1

Don't need GLP-1. 5'8 165. Smaller frame and always been in-shape. I hit the gym 5x/week I know she felt "less than" physically compared to me our entire relationship....... until GLP-1
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 09:49 PM
1

Couple mental health issues, childhood trauma issues with toxic ass TIKTOK, Snapchat, Instagram etc etc and it's no wonder strong women who weather the storm are rare. And yes, "men" who are willing to take a cheating scumbag soon to be ex wife into their arms are losers
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 09:29 PM
3

Sheesh man I’m sorry that is brutal!
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 08:05 PM
6

Together 10 years, no kids, it blew up in June. Both in our mid-30s. She moved out in July. Been in a silent home since. It has been rough. Still is. Been hitting the gym, been on a few dates, focusing on work and the divorce process but it is the hardest thing I have ever been thru. Holiday season is rough too. I made a post on this earlier the fact that women typically mentally check out months/years before the D word drops is cowardly and selfish. My wife was doing shady things and seeking ma…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 11:00 AM
1

Fuck those people and their perceptions. YOU know the truth brother.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 12:50 AM
4

I hear you brother. I don’t have kids but mine did the same except I pestered her every fucking day to GTFO of my house NOW (legally she didn’t have to). 1.5 months after she filed she finally moved out to a shitty 2nd floor rental to hoe it up on the dating apps. She is alone with 2 dogs while I live comfortably in MY home (although eventually I will need to pay her a portion of the equity which I am currently fighting her on in court).
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:39 PM
6

Yup. It’s no wonder I was her only friend. Always had problems with other people at work, family, life, and eventually with me. It’s no surprise now to look back and realize why her maid of honor was her sister and her bridesmaids (who she didn’t like) were my two sisters. Not one single true friend. When divorce came she refused to accept ANY part in it and gave some laughable excuse for deleted Ring camera footage of her coming/going late at night while I was away (this was the final straw on …
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:27 PM
8

my STBXW ramped up the blowjobs right before the D word. Not sure if it was a subtle "goodbye" gesture or if she was horny from having affairs. She also shared that she wanted me to watch her have sex with another man.... sorry im not a cuck. Also bragged that her male co-worker jerks off to the thought of her. Mental case
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 12:57 AM
2

Real shit
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 12:33 AM
9

I went completely no contact when she moved out a few months ago. She sent me a text to “meet for coffee” before our 2nd court appearance. I ignored. Less than an hour later she sent an aggressive follow up text “I’d appreciate a response… a yes/no would be nice” Ignored.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 07:27 PM
2

I’m going after her contributions to her retirement during the marriage. She has nearly double in her retirement than me. It must have been nice she was building up her retirement while I paid the fucking mortgage. I didn’t want to go down this road but she left me no choice. I’m going all in. I’d rather pay my attorney than the cheating coward.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 05:49 PM
3

It’s sickening brother
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 05:47 PM
8

Oh yea! She rewrote the history and honed in on any little negative aspect about me (I’m not perfect but c’mon). Immediately after she filed she posted “#postbreakupglowup” on her instagram (I have since blocked her on all socials). Yea…. Let’s fucking celebrate blowing up a 10 year relationship…. Coward. I do however peek in at her TikTok reposts (I don’t have an account so she doesn’t know I look). To this day it is littered with “self empowerment” and “get that divorce girl!” bullshit.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 05:33 PM
3

In Connecticut it doesn’t matter. She is entitled to the equity gained during the duration of the marriage. Unfortunately for me between 2020 (when we got married) until now the equity skyrocketed due to the market.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 05:29 PM
4

Can’t turn a hoe into a housewife. I found out she is living in a 2nd floor rental with what were our two dogs alone and on dating apps. I figured if she blew this up and leave a great home she would have at least “leveled up”. I’m thinking she had someone and it ended or she just wants to play the field and be a hoe now that she is hotter with the weight loss. Can’t turn a hoe into a housewife I guess. She was always a hoe under that weight.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 01:33 PM
2

I’m sorry man I know somewhat what you are going thru but in a different circumstance. We never had children (thank goodness) but we had two dogs…. One of which was my good boy we raised just a year ago. She took them with her when she abruptly exited our marriage a few months ago. Lost who I thought my wife was and my two dogs. Will never see those dogs again (I don’t care about not seeing her again…. In fact I never want to or need to see her again). All you can do is move forward and rebuild …
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 01:20 PM
5

She was taking Zepbound I believe. She just started taking it didn’t even tell me. The weight came off quick….. I’m talking a span of just a few months. She dropped some nasty hints about other men and hints at opening up the marriage. Called her out on that and some other stuff and she immediately filed.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 01:10 PM
12

This is a great point and in my situation, I believe my STBXW falls into the latter example of your comparison. And it's even shittier because they now twist the knife in your back to make you think you failed her long term ("I have been unhappy for a year") when in fact she was basically "happy" the entire time but is a deceitful POS and chose to cheat because she lost a bunch of weight and got some validation from other men and couldn't control her urges...... sorry for more rant LOL
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 02:44 AM
2

The problem is for me it is not $1800..... it is like $75k.... I bought the house for $240k in 2017. It is now roughly $400k. The housing market boom did NOT help me here. We had two of our own appraisals completed. Nearly a $100k difference between the two which the judge did not like so we need a third.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 10:20 PM
2

Yup. Not only was she obsessed with the weight loss she constantly talked about wanting a boob job.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 04:09 PM
3

The Jekyll and Hyde switch up
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 01:57 PM
5

Dude….. she’s obsessed with astrology…. Even mentions it on her Bumble…. Along with “freshly divorced”….. even though it’s not final yet 😂 Oh and I’d add a complete lack of friends to the list of red flags. She literally has ZERO friends (other than some men I didn’t know about towards the end). Yes, it appears I’m bashing her. They are all red flags looking thru the lense of a soon to be divorcee though. Learning the HARD way
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 09:36 PM
7

I consider myself an empath. It’s no wonder it all blew up in my face
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 07:32 PM
4

It’s textbook!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 07:30 PM
8

Oh gosh. She was a slob, Instagram/TikTok heavy especially during her weightloss (even posted a selfie that said #hideyourhusbands) and hopped on the Swiftie train!!
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 07:28 PM
4

It seems all too common unfortunately brother
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 07:26 PM
1

I’m 37. Never heard of Stir I will check that out
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 03:05 PM
4

I have had zero luck with Bumble and Tinder. I have met quite a few women and gone on great dates using Hinge and FB Dating.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 12:20 PM
11

My ex MIL bounced around from man to man. She divorced her husband 25 years ago and still brags about how she took it all from him…. “I even got the lawnmower!!!” Looks like my STBXW will go down a similar path but I’m keeping my lawnmower! Gosh why did I ignore these red flags…
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 01:49 AM
7

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree!
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 12:28 AM
9

Don't ever blame yourself brother. You did NOT fail as a man or husband. She failed in every aspect.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:39 PM
4

I gotta say you responded in great detail just like this to a post of mine here a few days ago. Anyone reading your responses will benefit greatly. Thank you for your efforts brother!
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:39 PM
11

I understand man. Not exactly similar to your situation but just as disrespectful was my STBXW only days before all this blew up shared that she wanted me to watch her have sex with another man. Shared with me that her co-worker masturbates to the thought of her. When I was doing the "pick me dance" (ugh I shake my head at this initial period of her filing for divorce), I scheduled a marriage counseling session out of desperation. She surprisingly agreed to go with me. Counselor asked if we had …
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:23 PM
3

Dude.... I kid you not the first court appearance I was stunned. She had on a sleeveless dress, and her left arm was all bruised up. I literally thought the exact same thing as you (rough sex or injections.... but if I remember correctly, she injected it into her stomach).
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/25 10:09 PM
6

The "switch flip" is wild! We had dinner the night before it all blew up. Before dinner we went to a lawn/garden store having fun looking at lawn ornaments. We had a trip planned. Everything seemed fine! The deleted camera footage the night after, calling her out on that and the other bizarre comments mentioned in my OP. Switch flipped, she filed for divorce and I am a complete enemy. Wild shit
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 04:28 PM
10

Absolutely. And the most disrespectful thing she said was during my "pick me dance" phase early on right after she filed, I scheduled us a marriage counseling session. It was eye opening because she completely gaslit me in there. The hurtful part of that was the counselor asked if we had children. She said "no, but with the right man I would".
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 03:26 PM
5

I’m so sorry bro. And to relate my STBXW talked the suicidal shit. Childhood trauma to the max :(
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 12:56 AM
9

Hell yea bro keeping chest and head up I’m moving forward
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/25 12:55 AM
9

Yup I forgot to add that as well. My STBXW was constantly on her phone. The day she announced divorce she got up to the bathroom and surprisingly she left her phone on the table. We knew each other’s phone passcodes our entire relationship. I tried to log in to her phone when she was in the bathroom….. new passcode. Couldn’t log in.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 10:39 PM
8

It is super impulsive and destructive decision-making on their part. Instead of working on issues and communicating they just bail!
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 09:52 PM
11

I'm sorry to hear you experienced a similar situation! It really goes to show just how damn shallow a person is when they do this. If I got jacked and ripped I would never in a million years think to step out on my spouse or end the marriage for "greener grass". If the opposite sex complimented me on my physique I would say thank you and keep it moving.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 09:32 PM
10

The decision-making process after they drop the weight is mind-blowing!
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 09:12 PM
11

Thanks man. Only thing is I look back at the initial stages of this when she announced she would be divorcing me. I did the "pick me dance", begged, pleaded, put all the blame on me, got her flowers all that crap. I shake my head at that. But, I am sure my absolute silence since then is hitting her hard. Couldn't even tell you what she wore to court the other week because I won't even look at her!
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 08:55 PM
16

Not harsh. EVERYONE has told me this. And I see it now more clearly every day. This divorce started 6 months ago. I am in a much better place now.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/25 08:40 PM
2

I’m not sure when it will be final. 3 court appearances so far next one is in January…. She keeps fighting me on the equity of the home because she is an entitled bitch. You know yourself but man your dynamic honestly does not sound healthy for your emotional well-being and path to start healing. I would go no contact other than court logistics and start working on yourself and a path without her. You are only prolonging your healing by doing things like Thanksgiving together. Sure, she is being…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 12:42 AM
1

I feel you. I’m going thru an eerily similar situation now but my STBXW is not kind. She has been AWFUL thru this entire process. It actually makes it a bit easier for me because she is showing her true colors. Here is my story: Together 10 years and married 5. She started Zepbound. The weight came off and the bizarre comments about other men started and her hinting at wanting to open up the marriage. Daily selfies on Instagram. One of which said #hideyourhusbands. She even suggested a cucking f…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 04:38 PM
1

The exact same thing happened to me. Together 10 years and married 5. She started Zepbound. The weight came off and the bizarre comments about other men started and her hinting at wanting to open up the marriage. Daily selfies on Instagram. One of which said #hideyourhusbands. She even suggested a cucking fantasy to me. The final straw was she deleted Ring/Blink camera footage of her coming home late at night while I was away. Called her out on that and other things such as the comments about ot…
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 03:37 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter