Been reflecting on my divorce. It all came crashing down last Memorial Day weekend when I finally asked for transparency and accountability after my now ex-wife was saying and doing things that unfortunately all pointed towards infidelity after she lost a bunch of weight on a GLP-1 medication. Instead of having any discussion, she instantly filed for divorce, blamed everything on me, implemented heavy DARVO tactics and moved out a month later. Divorce finalized this past March. No kids thankfully.

Since she moved out last year, I have worked on myself a lot. Physically and mentally. I got myself into therapy to process WTF happened as it was very abrupt. My therapist truly believes I was dealing with someone who had BPD and NPD traits. We talked about some of my short comings (ignoring major red flags early on, some boundary issues, falling into routine, communication goes both ways and there is always room for improvement, not being as in-tune as I could have been to her love language etc). We discussed my attachment style (secure). I learned so much and there is more to learn.

I will never consider marriage again. The divorce process really opened my eyes to how unfair and unjust it is. I am one and done. I am 38, no kids, own my own home (got to keep it luckily) but, I do want to eventually get into something exclusive again.... just not marriage. I have a FWB situation going on and have been dating around.

I'm just curious as to why 2nd marriages fail at an even higher rate than the 1st. If you do the work of really analyzing what happened and YOUR shortcomings by doing self-reflection and true therapy work, how can 2nd marriages end up failing even more?