Hey gents! I’m 2 years separated and in the divorce proceedings (I initiated it). One thing that I’ve noticed is that I take accountability of my part of the marriage that I didn’t live up to. In my situation, we were married for 13 years together a total of 14 years. I was always the sole provider, she never worked, we have two special needs boys. Now I worked really hard in sales and I was chronically stressed with work and making sure the house, her and the kids were always taken care of.
I hardly did anything for myself. Whenever I was short on cash I would go and work side jobs. When I was really stressed, I would lock myself up and wouldn’t really talk. I was used to this type of behavior since I’ve been through a lot as a kid. I know this is a toxic behavior but for the entire time I was married I was on survival mode as opposed to thriving, fulfilled, happy and pursuing challenges. Where I take accountability, is that I should have had more self mastery in my life and perhaps the mood and energy in the house would have been different those types where I was stressed out to the max. I never yelled at her or the kids, never cheated, don’t really drink, all I did was work hard and go home. STBX only wanted to do the things she wanted, never paid one single bill, didn’t make that much effort to accompany me in the things I like, my best friend died and she didn’t come with me to the wake or funeral, my mentor died a couple of months after. I held a memorial in his memory and she didn’t go. I take solace that I did the best I could with what I had at the time, I do take accountability but I know she will never take accountability. She blames me for everything and even started false rumors that I was abusive. All of this to say gents, I already accepted the divorce, took accountability of my part, moving on, getting in great shape, my mindset has gotten a lot better and one day I’ll wake up and not even have thoughts about my failed marriage.