I will try to make this brief. Been married 8 years and have 2 children. We have had some ups and downs, been to counseling early in our marriage.

Here lately I almost have to compete with my mother in law for time with my wife. I feel as if my wife has her mother as a higher priority than me. We had a talk about this several months ago and basically I was told that she does things with her because I am withdrawn from her. I had to explain that I am withdrawn because your mom is over almost every day. That her actions were causing my actions. Things got a little better after that talk but we are now back to square one.

My wife will invite her mom over and make plans with her and the kids with no input from me. Her and her mom decided to paint one of the bathrooms in our house purple without asking me for my input. I was told that we can go on vacation only if her family can come. We had first day of school pictures this year that were never sent to me but they went to her mom and sister. Anytime the kids are sick or get hurt the first call is to her mom or sister instead of me.

Every time I bring something up that bothers me it’s always my fault….when they painted the bathroom purple I brought it up and it was my fault for not asking about it….rather than asking me, who pays for 95% of everything in the house her mom and her decided to paint it and then it’s my fault when I get upset.

Talking to my father in law, that was how he was treated by his wife…he eventually divorced her. My brother in law experiences similar stuff with his wife. Mother in law trying to discipline our kids.

Soon after my father in law and mother in law got divorced he sold his building and told my wife and me about it. My wife tells her sister and then it becomes this huge issue that they have to tell their mom. I explained to them that it was not their place to tell their mom. Their divorce settlement stated that if he sold it she was not getting any money back. Long story short they told her and then I had to listen to my wife get lectured by her mom on why she needs to tell her this stuff.

I am at my wits end here. Have contemplated divorce but if I go that route the thought of coming home after work and my kids not being there really bothers me. We are going on vacation next week and of course the mother in law is coming…I’ve considered just not going, but I can’t let my kids down like that.

If I go through with a divorce, I’m going to get stuck paying so much money to her because I’m the primary provider by a long shot.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.