Advice

WartimeDad · 2022-02-02T21:56:55+00:00

You should record her. You need to record her. You should do this without her knowing. Before you even mention divorce see if you can record her being “abusive.” I personally think that word is garbage, but the courts love it. If you can get her yelling on tape, or playing psycho mind-games, that will be wonderful later if she suddenly claims you’re abusive and insane.

How to go about this:

You should plan out what you want. Do you have kids? What kind of parenting arrangement do you see for that? Do you share a home? Who do you think should stay/leave? The person staying will have to buy-out the other person at 50%. The accounts are all to be split 50/50. Etc.

Once you know exactly what all the 50/50 splitting looks like, and you have decided what you want, you do the following:

You first talk to a lawyer without her knowing. At least have one picked out. Usually initial consults are 150 bucks or so but it’s money well spent. It’s possible to wait until after talking to her but I wouldn’t advise it.

Next, you hit record on the device and calmly tel her you want to talk. Let her know you can’t do this relationship anymore and you need a divorce. If she blows up, great you have that on recordings and just stay calm and tell her you can talk to her when she calms down.

If she is able to talk, then begin going into what you think about the split.

I highly suggest you record every conversation from here out and maybe even just randomly when she’s being nutty.

I’ve seen so many times (and it happened to me too), over and over and over this same post, and then the woman explodes with anger and craziness only to suddenly rewrite history and tell the judge that it’s you that are abusive. He believes her. The man loses his kids, loses his house, loses his ass financially, and it’s all because family law does not trust men or believe they can be fathers. And they support women at any and all cost because women are princesses that are always right and cannot lie and must be protected form horrible men.

Document everything. Record everything. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Always keep your cool.

Finally, you need to exercise and meditate because this is going to be one of the hardest things you’ve ever done, and it’s a long haul, take care of yourself.

Good luck to you brother. Make sure you post with a burner account so she can’t use posts against you.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2022-02-02T21:55:48+00:00

Document and record her abuse. It will help you in court. Don't tell her what you're thinking or what you're going to do.

pegleg_legal · 2022-02-03T04:32:45+00:00

Start the "conversation" with action. File a case. Change your behavior. Change your appearance. Make her come to you. Change the way you communicate with her.

Commit the biggest sins - stand up for yourself and don't react to her bullshit.

If you want a divorce, build your case long before you go talk to her. And having "that" conversation is just fucking drama if its going to be hostile anyway.

hombredelgato · 2022-02-03T14:01:57+00:00

Find out everything you can about trauma bonding. Learn about the caretaker role in relationships. Get into therapy ASAP. Begin working on yourself. Trust me, once you start working on you, the rest will start to happen "on it's own".

One step at a time.

Billywizzer2021 · 2022-02-03T11:13:37+00:00

In the UK we use solicitors, make an appointment (some give 30 minutes free) and discuss your options as I don't think recording your STBXW works in the UK. But certainly don't put up with abusive behaviour, but as a man you will get absolutely no help from the authorities. Plan somewhere to live because if she kicks off you will be the one told to leave the home.

oldskoolflavor · 2022-02-02T21:52:22+00:00

Go checkout the r/marriedredpill sub. Swallow the sidebar. If that doesn't work, then move on.

Also, it could take months to practice that.

Title	Advice
Author	BroadLocation4212
Upvotes	12
Comments	6
Date	February 2, 2022 9:24 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/sj0co9/advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/advice.1100117 https://theredarchive.com/post/1100117

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