So I will try to make it short and easy to understand

My wife and I were deeply in love and were married summer 2017, and had been together for 5 years prior, and after 3 mo of marriage she was all the sudden unhappy and I begged her to go to counseling with me so we can fix things and she never went she was just done and packed all her stuff and left me, during our separation she barley spoke to me and if she did it was only to deny my requests to spend time with her.

As you could imagine I was absolutely stunned by what was happening so much so I went to counseling on my own to do everything I could to save my marriage, all the while she didn't lift a finger and wanted to just get out, then she claimed I was an abusive cheater, and that I had a drinking problem, anger issues, and ate like crap and how I was just another person set to kill myself. YEA, but anybody who knows me can attest that's not who I am in the slightest, and I know im not those things. While she dated another guy and posting pictures on social medial, not less than a month after separation, I fell into the biggest depression of my life.

I kept going to counseling and reading books and getting any bit of advise to save my marriage, yet at the end of the day it wasn't going to happen. I really don't know why she left truly, coulda been cause she couldn't get pregnant after 4 mo of trying, midlife crisis, idk. So I did just give her space and see if shell come to her senses.

so seeing the inevitable coming we sold the house in the spring of 2018, she kept the dogs, and I just tried to let it go after 6 mo of separation, by this time I've lost apps 75lbs and only was eating 4 times a week maybe.

then she started to come around for a bit in fall of 2018 and I not wanting to give-up started to have a glimmer of hope, then on my birthday, the bomb was dropped and she wanted the divorce finally. so I went to the court house and got the papers, then in Jan of 2019 she dropped another bomb, she's pregnant with her new BF. she was 2 mo pregnant. And though this whole thing I have made everything on her as easy as could be, without being an ass but now I don't have any reason to speak to her besides the divorce.

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I can stress enough how much I really loved and cared for her despite what she's done, and how it has absolutely devastated I was. I felt like we grew together and everything was on the up and up, we were trying for a family.

HERES THE REAL BOMBSHELL

Now we officially filed for div in April 2019 and we are mere weeks away oct 2019 from the judge signing off on the papers, her baby is only a mo old and she suffers a massive stroke......

I was completely heartbroken for her and I was just devastate that nobody in her family told me until 2 days later, and we seemed to be on civil terms till everything was done.

So here's my issue,

am I wrong for feeling just broken now that she's disabled, bothered when she put her BF(she hasn't known a year) in charge of all of her medical decisions, not her mother. she's never made good decisions but damn!

And if you truly love someone you just want to see them fly, not crash and burn, I just need some real guidance on how I should feel, I just feel stuck. For now I have only sent flowers to the hospital and have stayed away. And calling the court since its a non-contested div there won't be any issue cont without her

Please not to harsh......ii don't wanna hear that's what she deserves or any crap like that im interested in myself and how do I mentally pickup and move on. just one of those things you can't read outta a book for the right answer.