Long story short, my ex wife and I were separated November 2024.

For the next 5 months she led me on, having me think we were working on reconciliation, then I found out she was with another guy.

When I found out something snapped in my brain, I don't know how else to put it. I wanted to kill the guy, and was planning on it, and mentally accepted spending possibly the rest of my life in prison, but thankfully a friend talked me out of it.

Before I found out i had been seeing a therapist, and have been for the past year. I had a few months where I was drinking again last summer (former alcoholic), but hit 6 months sober today. I go to the gym 4 days a week, and go hiking on my days off, as well as go to 12 step meetings once or twice a week. Basically doing all the "right" things to get through this.

As many times as I try to forgive and move on, my mind often comes back to wanting to kill or severely injure this guy. Even though it was for the best she left, considering the type of person she turned out to be.

Like i said it did something to my brain. I don't dream much anymore but when I do he is in every dream and I have to fight him.

Am i some sort of psychopath or is this somewhat normal? Its been almost a year since I found out but the divorce wasn't final until January 2026. She ran around with him until November of last year before filing...