Coparenting

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-03-17T13:48:21+00:00

They have been staying at her place the whole time, with me coming over 3 days a week to care for them by myself.

You NEED to establish OVERNIGHTS at your place 50% of the time ASAP - The way the court will look at things is staus quo is they are with mom 100% of the time. You'll be lucky to get 2 weekends a month and week in the summer.

CS/Custody is OVERNIGHTS. Get on it now. She's been laying the ground work to screw you once someone files.

warwww · 2025-03-17T11:07:54+00:00

I stopped reading at "at her place the whole time with me coming over".... Sir, if you don't operate to change this dynamic asap you WILL be relegated to an Uncle-Father by the court system when she cites that the kids are "stable and thriving" under the current arrangement and that changing this will not be in their best interests. Throw in an allegation of abuse here and there and you are cooked; your kids will loose access to you faster than that judge can digitally sign that court ordered pdf.

You either get the very near future arrangement in writing as an agreement or you make your place ready as soon as humanely possible.

As another poster stated, all it takes is for another man to convince her that the Brady bunch is the way to go or show her the utopia of a new age blended family and your agreement will mean nothing.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-03-17T06:32:18+00:00

Just realize that it's in her best interest to minimize your parenting time. And the status quo established for these 5 months is meaningful. Not so much practically or for the benefit of the children, but for the legal case. Additionally, she has a very high level of practical control to your access to the children. So when you say "going forward they'll be at your place 50/50" - I don't see how you're so sure. I also have no idea how you arrived at this arrangement to begin with. No agreements, no promises, no anything except a court order is reliable in a custody situation. The moment you try to assert yourself, get ready for a massive change in her attitude, up to and including creating some conflict when you're at her place that ends up in the police being called.

I'm not saying she will do this, I'm saying this is what you NEED to be prepared for so that when it happens, you're calm, cool and collected.

Do you just stay at her house with them or do you take them out? If you don't take them out, start doing that before you just say - "hey mama, I'm taking them half the time."

You're in a precarious position. I hope you appreciate that. I hope all goes well, but just be careful as it rarely does.

Title	Coparenting
Author	Tough_Doughnut1171
Upvotes	3
Comments	4
Date	March 16, 2025 1:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1jckx59/coparenting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/coparenting.1546787 https://theredarchive.com/post/1546787

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