Hi My wife (F42) told me (M48) three weeks ago that she has had enough. This caught me completely by surprise, just one week before she had given me a passionate long kiss, cuddle I the couch on Christmas and asked for sex 2 days before this. I agree that we had some issues but not like this. She says that she has told me what she needs, and she has and when she has done that I have tried to understand and improve. Mostly it is about cleaning and planning, when thinking back I am having a hard time to understand this, my feeling is that we have had a pretty good communication about this. She has planned stuff like Christmas decorations and I have handled all vacations, gardening, window washing and much more.

Yesterday I think I finally found out why she is doing this. She thinks I am to fat. I am overweight and have been struggling to loose weight (118kg 183cm 35.2 BMI at the most) I had already started a weight loss journey 3 weeks before she said this but did not tell her because I did not want to her to feel “here we go again” and have so far lost about 6kg in the past 6 weeks.

I can not understand that if she felt that it was so bad, why did we not talk about it, like really talk not just mentioning “I feel alone when I always need to empty the dishwasher “ or even book a counselling session.

I am still having hopes for us, I am sure that she still loves me. We have hade some hugges last week where one ended with a brief kiss. But right now she has a wall around her and I can not reach her. We have a couple counselling booked for tomorrow that I have arranged. We have been married for 19 years, together for 24 and have two kids 15 and 17 years old.

She has already started to talk about selling the house but we will not be able to move until the summer.

Sorry for the long rant, feeling completely lost here.