I’m looking for some advice as to where I should start. My wife and I have been married 12 years. We have 2 young kids. We’ve been struggling to make our marriage work for years for the sake of our children, but to be honest I can’t take it any longer. We’re both very unhappy. Our relationship is beyond repair. And I feel that our broken marriage is becoming obvious, at least to our oldest child.

I’m sure it’s a lot of the standard reasons that have been posted on here time and time again. There was some infidelity on her part years ago that really hurt our marriage. I was able to push past it (but not really forget). I’m seeing some of the same signs again that made me suspecting years ago. The unfortunate truth is that we started down two different paths years ago and we’re miles apart now in what we want or value our of life.

I make a decent/good living as a first responder, but I work shift work. That’s sure to be a problem with custody. She is fortunate in that she is a successful business owner and makes double my salary. We have a home with that’s nearly paid off. No other debt. She has other money from inheritance that’s not in our joint accounts. She has been careful in insulting her finances over the years. Two years ago she attempted to have me sign a “post-nup”, to which I obviously declined.

I’m sure the next step for me is to speak with a lawyer. But how do I start putting in some fail-safes? Credit cards? Finances? Custody? Etc. My largest concern is that I can maintain a positive relationship with my children. Everything else is secondary, but I also don’t want to get pulled through the wringer.

There seems to be a lot of support here. I’d love to hear some input from those of you that have been through the same issues. Maybe learn a bit from past mistakes or better yet, some successes.

Thanks!