I’m 40m, initiated divorce, now regret hugely. Mainly because I now know that the marriage wasn’t good because of my mental health issues, not because of her.

It’s been 2 years since I left the house and kids. I see the kids 3 times a week. I know that’s good. I’ve met a new partner too who is wonderful, but I feel awful because I know I’d go back to the marriage if I could, just so I could ‘feel and be like everyone else’.

I feel like I’ve lost all my ‘stuff’. My kids, my house (which I put my inheritance into), my cats, my wife.

I feel like the biggest fool in the world. And I feel that only if I went back and got forgiven could I be saved and could I give my kids a good stable life. I’ve been suicidal, and sertraline can only do so much.

Does anyone else feel like that? That only their ex could save them? That all is lost and forever lost unless they go back? Does anyone pray every night and wake up every morning hoping and pleading with the universe that this is a bad dream? That they’ve done something they cannot take back and which will ruin them?

Any thoughts hugely appreciated.