Hopelessness

Pleasant-Mechanic-49 · 2025-06-30T10:20:46+00:00

⚠️DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE⚠️ unless a judge orders it or near divorce u have a signed agreement on what u want (virutual rent, child custody..). Repeat that to yourself 10 x. Seriously. Here's why:

Once you're out, she becomes the primary caregiver by default. You're suddenly the "weekend dad." or "walking purse"
Her 👹lawyer might tell her to drag this divorce out for years for Free housing and financial support BUT If you stay, she'll want to speed up the divorce
Worst case: You pay for a house while she brings in the new BF (real example: Sarah Jane parkinson bring home his BF with his 3 kids)
Don't fall for her suggestion, claiming it's better for everyone/kids. She will only benefit it. Remember, kids often recall the parent who left
🚨 If she to forces you out, demand financial compensation or virtual rent since you're still paying for the property & need to pay another rent. This makes her think twice about exploiting the situation.
Do NOT move out in her state/country near her family, it is a trap . Plus, you will be stuck for years in that region if you want to see your kids. Know the laws on parental relocation. Many limit non-custodial parents from moving far without permission
Remember: Your goal is to be an equal parent, not a 🏰Disneyland Daddy in your kid's life. Stand your ground
Only exception: If she's violent or has mental issues, and you're at risk of bogus domestic violence accusations & & TRO strike( i.e. a judge telling you to get out)..

Plastic_Canary_6637 · 2025-06-30T06:00:31+00:00

First off don’t take what she says at face value. Could you have communicated better? Probably but that’s a long way from abuse. She’s likely rationalizing her behavior by making you the bad guy. My advice, seek a trusted confidante, could be a friend, pastor, or a therapist and talk to them. Be brutally honest about your role in the relationship and get their feedback. My hunch is that she’s responsible for just as much of the problems as you are.

Remember that you are who you are. You can’t make some else happy, only they can. You also can’t be perfect to them because perfection is unattainable. You were born with certain strengths and weaknesses. Accept both sides of yourself, continue to work on your weaknesses but give yourself grace. Make sure you know the difference between a true weakness vs someone else’s preferences. One needs to be worked on the other can’t be.

Sounds like you’re doing the best you can, keep your chin up, you got this!!

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-06-30T05:59:17+00:00

Very high odds of another man, now gaslighting you into believing you were the monster all along. Very common theme on this sub. I went and still going through the same. I have kids of similar ages and nobody can sell me the bullshit how the wife with 2 small kids will be better out without their father in the home - we're talking regular, non abusive marriages that are the norm, despite the media campaign against men. I didn't buy her story and I found out the real reason.

Once you have proof of her cheating, lying and manipulating, and you're not mad but laughing at her pathetic gaslighting oh, boy THEN you'll see her real face for the first time in your life.

Lawyer up, record everything with a voice activated app on the phone.

Able_Buy_7859 · 2025-06-30T02:08:19+00:00

Sorry that you are suffering through this, brother.

There's too many of us with the same situation of being in marriages with wives who were unhappy. There's a lot of gaslighting that comes from the ladies that the marital issues always stem from the deficiencies of the husbands.

Title	Hopelessness
Author	SignificanceNo3704
Upvotes	2
Comments	7
Date	June 29, 2025 1:30 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1lneqh8/hopelessness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/hopelessness.1555930 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555930

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