When I spiral I ask myself these questions.

1) what is my direct experience

2) What is my awareness of the experience

3) what is the story I tell myself about this experience

4) How can I soften and simplify this story

i. My Direct Experience:

Ex falsely accused me of sexually abusing my 8 yo and 5 yo. I haven't seen them now for two weeks and trial is in another week. Still wait on CPS to do their thing

My awareness of my experience:

Feeling hopeless, defeated, exhausted and burnt out. This has been going on for almost 4 years. I'm stuck scrolling for information on defending against false information. I'm not in the waiting phase where there is nothing I can do. This feels helpless, and powerlessness. My anxiety takes me to notions that I'll never see my girls again.

The story I tell myself:

My ex has won. I should of never tried to hold her accountable in court. This is what I get for filing emergency emotions when she takes whole holiday weekends away from me. Everyone will believe her. The teachers, our friends and eventually my daughters. They'll never see me as a good Dad that fought so hard for them. Maybe it's better I'm not in their life. Seems like the Mom just needs to fully take over and I just pay child support. I'll miss them. I always wanted to be a Dad. Maybe when they're 18 we'll reunite, and maybe they'll understand. I should of never challenged my Ex. She is too smart, and the system favors her. This is never going to end, so mightiest well give up now. Save money and find some smaller joys like coffee in the morning and hikes on the weekend. The Forensic Psychologist is for sure going to buy into the coaching your Ex has done to your girls. The GAL's will also turn against how.

How can I soften and simplify this story:

I'm not a perfect victim, but nonetheless a victim of abuse and parental alienation at the hands of my high conflict Ex. My girls are too young to know now, but they can eventually. Especially if I continue to be the opposite of what my Ex says I am. Overall, the facts are my Ex doesn't have a great track record of being a credible and trustworthy person in Court. I mean I was awarded temporary legal and physical custody for 4 months earlier this year. My girls need me to fight. They need to have one stable parent and they are deserving of this. Most people get my Ex lies especially when they get to know me and know who I really am.