A month ago she says she wants a divorce (AZ). We have a connection, but havent fostered it in years...I get it. I overall don't want to split, but mainly because I dont want to lose my kids even 50% of the time or my assets. I've offered her a few options to split amicably and come out with over $40k, but she's a bit naïve and doesn't know what she wants, thinks lawyers will look out for her.

I recently have seen a bit of hope that she's just hurt and mad, and that possibly the marriage could be saved. However, now I'm scared as hell if we reconcile, the same thing could happen when we've been married for even longer and she could financially devastate me even more. This trust thing is a bitch.

Every option I give her for an uncontested easy file deal gets initially considered, but then she always hunkers down harder because she's scared. To a point, I get that. I'm scared as shit too.

After reading NMMNG and realizing my priorities, what I want to do is get a legal separation to protect my assets, but then also continue the marriage...hopefully forever...and also know I have some security. I know she wont just sign off on it, but might it be worth it to file just for the separation and frame it as us just starting over, and if she/we really want a full divorce later, we just do the quick file?