Anyone making money?

pipeline_scott · 2023-08-14T02:26:36+00:00

It’s never a financial victory. It’s a mental health victory. The question you should be asking is are you happier? The only one that benefits financially from your divorce is your attorney.

upfnothing · 2023-08-14T02:33:07+00:00

It’s a struggle to survive on a single income and co-parent. I guess if I was a doctor or something I might see it as a financial victory

NoConcentrate4186 · 2023-08-14T02:36:11+00:00

It’s a no brainer. A failed marriage is a failed investment. Losing 20k over a failed investment is not much when you consider inflation (hotter women) in the future. Think rainbows and sunshine and be glad to flip the page to that old chapter. Good luck

Darkfire66 · 2023-08-14T05:20:38+00:00

My ex would spend about 120% of what I made, and it didn't matter if I was making 30, 60, or 120k in a year, it was never enough.

Now I'm working straight time, 40 hour weeks, and the numbers keep running up in my savings like life is on easy mode.

Signal-Dot2326 · 2023-08-14T02:44:08+00:00

I gotta tell you I'm thinking the same thing went through our year of statements and I'm like she spent HOW MUCH in a year on nonsense from trader Joe's non dairy yogurts that cost 3 bucks each and she's not even allergic to dairy, dinner out multiple times a week, just blowing money on nonsense

Hiddenfolder85 · 2023-08-14T14:03:58+00:00

I retained 110k of equity, all of the furniture and my 2.375 mortgage for 1300 bucks, and Im having a wild time as a single secure man in his 30s. Im very grateful all she wanted was the dog. No kids either. I hit the reset button and she made it easy. Even though she cheated Ive forgiven her and man life is great.

Mjolnir37 · 2023-08-14T02:53:21+00:00

Yes. Making more and most importantly keeping it. Took on a side job to repair the damage and now it’s literally night and day. All the dumb stuff I don’t have to finance.

RunTheBull13 · 2023-08-14T03:11:03+00:00

Nope, I have to pay Childcare for 4 kids now. I'll have a loan for buying her out of the house. It's going to be super tough for a while....

BlessedAF-FR · 2023-08-14T04:48:23+00:00

Health > Money

polarshred · 2023-08-14T05:34:25+00:00

I wasn't spending a lot of money on my wife but I started earning waay more after she left. I associate that with having peace of mind and less distractions

smooth-vegetable-936 · 2023-08-14T06:25:07+00:00

Mine shot herself in the fuckin ass. I gave her 45k and a car plus her stupid account but she didn’t realize or thought rationally that I was almost a millionaire. I did not hide anything bcs everything is on the dissolution and signed by her, me and most importantly by the judge. Now she has been trying to get back with me , knowing she fucked up and I look at it as a relationship nothing more. I’m not interested in marriage ever again

AudreyTooTwo · 2023-08-14T13:00:28+00:00

the lights she’s not leaving on

OP, I know exactly what you're talking about. I have a million complaints, but most are too insignificant to matter. But they add up. Some people are just plain financially irresponsible, men included. But, anyway, in this case, I do relate and sympathize.

She would ALWAYS leave the lights on. At one point, I started buying motion-activated lights that would time-out. But, of course, she hated them. Came home one hot, humid day to find her out on the porch, door wide open, A/C blasting. I was shocked. Do I REALLY need to explain this? God, what else? Overdrafts in her checking account that I had to pay for. She made money, but never balanced her checking account. Her bank offered a Visa debit card that would never get declined, even if the balance was zero. But, they would, of course, charge $29.99 or whatever each time. She'd have a dozen of these, each for something little, like coffee at Starbucks.

We had an extra fridge and freezer out in the garage. She bought more food than we needed. Can't tell you how much fresh food spoiled and was tossed, still wrapped.

Yeah, we pissed away God knows how much in interest, overdrafts and late fees, even though we both worked and had money. In fact, maybe THAT was the problem. She always saw money coming in, so managing it was never a priority for her.

EDIT: I left out probably the most important part. If I tried to "right the ship" and put us on a budget, I was "financially abusive".

berniefl44 · 2023-08-14T21:30:05+00:00

Trust me I will never get married again and give my hard earned money to some witch that will be nice at first and then out to be a waste of space and take all my money. Never again

whattodo1216 · 2023-08-15T22:06:41+00:00

I am so far ahead financially post-divorce it's almost funny. I checked my bank account and there was a LOT more money in it than I thought, so I went back over my finances, and 75% of the money out was her. What is completely ridiculous is the 25% I spent on myself included the housing, cars, food, insurance, and taxes. I'm thinking that maybe she was siphoning off money for her family, which I caught her doing in small amounts from time to time, but now I'm thinking it may have been 10x what I caught her doing.

After that realization I upped my budget to 50% of what I was spent while married, and not only has my quality of life improved exponentially, but I am also putting a ton into savings. It's kind of crazy, I'm buying the high-end professional level gear for what was once budget hobbies, and my bank account is still just straight growing.

It would've been great to have a faithful, loyal partner could trust to grow old and have kids with, but goddamn is the level of wealth, security, and fun I'm having now not having a financial lead weight attached to my neck one hell of a silver lining.

goodie1663 · 2023-08-14T12:52:04+00:00

My finances took a nosedive for several years after we separated. I always tended to live more simply than he did and was much more of a shopper, so it was possible to live on far less after he left. I also didn't travel and cut extras wherever I could. From what I knew during the divorce, he didn't cut back at all.

I also paid less than he did during the divorce because of the legal team I chose and how I approached it. His attorney actually bragged to mine how he was charging my ex for every little thing because he didn't at all like his client. That wasn't exactly ethical, but quite a few people warned me off of that attorney for that reason. Mine wrote off a fair amount of work and were very careful with their billing.

redragtop99 · 2023-08-14T13:20:30+00:00

Lol, I wouldn’t say I’m making money, but def saving money.. my STBXW had never lived on her own before and had no idea about how the real world works… she’d sit at my house I paid for (I paid all bills) and eat food and watch cable TV all day w the heat/AC blasting on high, doing unnecessary laundry so she could tell me she did something with her day, and was confused when I started to resent her… she would set the AC on 68 in the summer and the heat at 72 in the winter (which makes no sense to me)… when we got a new thermostat I reprogrammed it appropriately based on time of day, year, etc… before she left she said to me one morning after waking up, “Jesus it’s 65 degrees!” this was during the winter and while we were sleeping all night… she would also do absolutely absurd things, like not measure laundry detergent and just pour a bunch in when doing laundry, and taking hour long showers in which she’d let the hot water run for 20 mins while she was getting ready to take a shower… so a lot of my bills have gone down quite a bit since she left!

jimsmythee · 2023-08-14T14:20:21+00:00

I never realized how big of a boat anchor she was until she was gone.

rsmiley77 · 2023-08-14T15:08:04+00:00

Yes you’ll never recoup funds from getting married. But you can make out in the future on the money pit many of our spouses were. I remember when I realized I’d have more free time now with my 50-50 custody agreement. Priceless.

This thread is a good reminder to all guys going through a divorce to take a month of your statements and sit down to see where ALL your money is going. There are a number of savings you can find there.

treborcj · 2023-08-14T16:15:45+00:00

I had so much more money after she was gone.

Jbr74 · 2023-08-14T16:30:29+00:00

When we got divorced we were basically living paycheck to paycheck with massive debt and no savings.

I've been divorced for over 4 years now, and have 0 debt (Besides a car loan) and over 6 figures saved. She is broke and running from creditors.

ultrasuperthrowaway · 2023-08-14T16:57:53+00:00

My divorce was a huge financial victory. She made more money and I also had legal insurance that paid for my attorney.

stephenc01 · 2023-08-14T17:02:18+00:00

Not saving more because she is gone; but I have the ability to make more.

007--Chill · 2023-08-14T17:22:35+00:00

My ex allergic to my dick

tinrooster2005 · 2023-08-14T18:05:18+00:00

After my quick period of losing my mind I did the math and figured out that if I limited my losses on her to just child support that I would actually be better off in the long run. The amount of bullshit she was buying with our joint account was staggering.

occoptionplaya · 2023-08-14T20:27:11+00:00

Down 200k on legal fees alone. Likely going to pay her 300k assets. Going to take a few years to recover... maybe a decade. Worth it!

morrowrd · 2023-08-14T20:45:21+00:00

I'm in existence mode - my ex took one third of my bank account and I need to make that back. I don't go anywhere, just work and home....the store for supplies. In a year of living that way I should be able to make up the money. My utility bill has gone down by 2/3rds, I no longer pay for her car insurance, another big help, and all the general expectations of paying for everything is over. So I'm not making money, I'm now able to conserve better.

Mad-Max-Forever · 2023-08-14T22:26:20+00:00

Mine is about to get $3m….

Adventurous_Wrap_343 · 2023-08-16T03:42:46+00:00

I’m making slightly more than I was with way more expenses. Somehow I have some money around and a significant improvement in my mental health. I can’t say that I’m “happy”, but I’m nowhere as sad and ashamed.

Title	Anyone making money?
Author	wineraq
Upvotes	14
Comments	44
Date	August 14, 2023 2:13 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/15qhfaq/anyone_making_money/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anyone-making-money.1228445 https://theredarchive.com/post/1228445

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