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FuckMatias Archive

View 31 posts and 191 comments by FuckMatias on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
26

FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 08:13 PM
21

FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 10:01 AM
19

FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 09:25 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 11:24 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 10:37 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 09:41 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 09:12 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 09:47 PM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 12:27 PM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 12:00 PM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 03:18 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 03:58 PM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men09/06/22 12:18 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 01:49 PM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 10:48 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men10/06/22 08:14 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 12:42 PM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 01:01 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 01:00 PM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men01/06/22 11:38 PM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 09:43 PM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 11:37 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 02:53 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 11:49 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 02:25 PM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 06:35 PM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 07:09 PM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 09:41 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 10:31 AM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 08:25 PM
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FuckMatias/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 11:54 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

This
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 10:23 AM
1

Do NOT go for the one night stands or anyone else for that matter till the ink is dry! She’s looking for ammo to make you look bad to a judge and to family and friends. If you have had “relationships” too then it won’t look so bad to others when they find out about hers. Don’t be fooled keep focused until it’s done.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 09:57 AM
1

I find it hard to be convinced that a lawyer can’t paint a stable relationship of three years as more stable than a zoom relationship with a military member. Were the children interviewed?
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 08:42 AM
1

Premier protein to supplement your lack of appetite
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 09:51 AM
1

Statistical outliers
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 07:56 AM
1

Good people don’t play part in them
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 07:54 AM
1

I outright looked out friends in the face and told them they played a part in why my children are so devastated. I explained in details my kids crying about everything was happening and that they could’ve done something if they had just told her to go home to her family or tell me when they found out before everything got out of hand. These women have kids too and all agree I’m a great father and a good man so I reveled in seeing their souls tormented hearing what they helped do to my children. …
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 07:54 AM
1

Maybe it’s time to drop that person? Shitty people tend to gravitate to one another and eventually her drama/lies will effect you. I hope you never help her cover her shit behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 07:50 AM
1

You have a shitty moral compass too. I hope to God you’re not married and if you are I hope he sees that you support that kind of behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 07:49 AM
0

If it fails she will get the satisfaction of knowing she played a part in wrecking a home by knowingly engaging with a married man. Your friend has low morals.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 07:47 AM
1

I mean this sub talks shit all the time on women who lay in wait to fuck men out of alimony etc… I don’t support that and I won’t support you doing the same. If you want out get out.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 10:30 AM
5

Straight up admits to doing a half ass job of parenting
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 10:18 AM
1

How do I hear some people with 50/50 not having pay as much in Texas and then say it like you are now? Genuinely concerned. I’m the breadwinner for sure but I’m also the only real parent. She’s been checked out for years. I do all of it. House work, groceries, night routine, baths, meals, play, read, watch their shows with them. We are currently moving there and I’m tryin to get her working and mentally stable so I can call it quits.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 05:24 PM
2

You would not believe the stuff mine would text. It’s literally insane, but I have it forever.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 01:04 AM
1

I just don’t think I could ever do online dating. Idk how I could trust someone from it. My STBXW used dating sights while we were married so maybe I’m just really fucked up from that idk
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 12:45 AM
1

This is me, did you end up making some cash?
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 12:17 AM
1

Let her put her shitty comments on paper my dude. When she’s lying to the kids about you in the future you can always show them the emails if you want and let them make their own decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 09:56 AM
2

How? That’s great!?
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 12:12 AM
1

HELOC and pull out her part of the equity
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 10:26 PM
0

Do a HELOC for her portion of the equity and tell no one what you did. Just give her her half and say you got a loan. HELOC much lower rate
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 10:10 PM
3

Targeted advertising at women has become crazy to me. It’s become so obvious who spends money on bullshit just from watching commercials and seeing what “influencers” are buying and selling. It’s funny because so many of the popular influencers disguise what they’re doing as self help or psychology. Then there are the “gurus” who pander holistic crap that these women buy to lose weight or enhance something they don’t like about themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 08:55 PM
1

I don’t mind giving her some money. I do mind giving her a higher percentage of my earnings after I carried the load and have been a single parent for so long while she had affairs and ignored the kids
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 06:48 PM
1

She will agree to 50/50. I’m an amazing parent and have taken care of her and the kids. I definitely spend more time with the kids and am more hands on with every aspect of their lives.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 03:27 PM
1

I would push for primary custodial with 50/50. I don’t hate her but I don’t want to pay her a bunch of money she doesn’t deserve.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 03:26 PM
1

10+, she’s getting a job earning less than me by a pretty good margin. Think 7000 vs 2000 take home Again I’d be getting 50/50 custody
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 02:03 PM
1

Oh I’ve got everything I’d need
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 02:02 PM
1

Does 50/50 impact child support in Texas?
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 11:25 AM
1

I’ve definitely found my red flags Constantly on social media (insta and tik tok) Drives a large SUV she probably can’t afford (I assume she will change cars every 4ish years to something newer) Constantly getting nails, Botox, hair colored, tanning (Obsessed with appearance) Designer handbag(s) Those are just my easy spots that they are not someone I want to be around
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 11:17 AM
1

You have it in text she doesn’t want them. Keep it and keep quiet. At worse if there comes a day where “mom told me this is how it went down” you can say here read this
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 12:35 PM
1

DARVO and JADE?
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 11:56 AM
1

Safer indeed. I use restraint all the time. AP knows he is walking today because of my mercy and restraint. He is terrified of me and rightfully so, the moment everything would ever be lost and I had nothing left to lose would be a scary day to be him.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 06:50 AM
1

Hahahaha FUCK THAT
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 02:41 AM
2

She will likely tell all sorts of lies about you and you can sit and smile and let her… then take out your evidence and show she’s full of shit. And if you want post it online
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 03:32 AM
1

I did it
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 09:03 AM
1

Stay quiet! Gather all the evidence you can of the affair (screen shots, pics, social media accounts, I would even watch the bank account for money shes spent on them) this may not help in the divorce BUT when she tries to turn the kids on you and lies you can show them she’s full of shit when they’re old enough to handle it. Consult a lawyer on the down low. Pay cash!!! And start building your plan of attack. She is already planning her exit so you will catch her off balance. Trust NO ONE with …
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 08:57 AM
1

What’s nta?
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 08:19 AM
1

Logically you’re correct, however the court doesn’t care about that. It cares about nights typically. Where do they sleep? If on your days they’re in daycare because you have to work that’s factored into child support. You don’t get them automatically anymore than a stay at home mom would. It would be penalizing the other parent for working to provide.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 10:10 AM
1

Update?
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 09:54 AM
1

Once shit started going south I collected evidence just in case. So when we sat in counseling and she made a claim and I called bs. Then I made a claim when she called bs I said here is the evidence. This happened a few times. Therapist said she was the problem. Suddenly she wouldn’t go anymore
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 09:46 AM
1

Eh, isn’t that what most of us are complaining about the ex doing? They prioritize self and they’re typically the evil one for being selfish. I would never want to stoop to that level. I prioritize my family first and I sincerely believe that’s how it should work. It almost feels like the definition of love. Putting someone else’s wants and needs above your own without expecting anything in return.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 09:41 AM
1

She absolutely does that
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 04:49 PM
3

That’s what I’m anticipating. I’m the only one on the mortgage so I’m going to do a HELOC to payout her equity.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 03:56 PM
2

A lawyer also told me the affairs matter because it shows instability and that while she was out playing I was solely taking care of the children
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 03:36 PM
1

Ya, I’m in indiana so no alimony thankfully. The hangovers matter because she didn’t go to work as a result and couldnt take care of the kids. She even didn’t take them to school once because of it. It also shows a pattern of neglect and that I’m the parent here not her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 03:33 PM
1

1 day a week I work 330pm-1am and then 1-9 the next day. I also work 430am-130pm on sundays (but I would do the best I can to find childcare this day) I would want Sunday, Monday, Tuesday nights and every other Saturday night for 50/50 custody
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 02:06 PM
1

Update?
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 01:40 PM
1

Any updates?
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 01:39 PM
2

She’s medicated to high hell. Unfortunately my work hours make full almost impossible. The mental hospital assured me she was safe with the kids but who knows.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 01:32 PM
1

Probably ruined two homes including APs family
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 01:27 PM
1

Pay attention to commercials. Heavily lean towards selling to women. Same thing with influencers, who follows and buys most of their shit?
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 12:52 PM
1

Yes this is what I had to do. No amount of bitching is going to change what they did
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 10:41 AM
1

Ok, alternative advice to what gets thrown around. Sit quietly. Don’t let her know you know. She’s been planning on an exit so you might as well plan yours too. Gather any and all evidence you can. Log everything (when she doesn’t come home, or comes home late). If in a 1 party consent state record everything. Track bank statements and spending. Open a new account that she doesn’t know about (do NOT fill it) put the minimum in there and when the trigger is pulled change your direct deposit to th…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 10:39 AM
5

It’s a status thing! They need it on their insta so they can check that box. Fucking hate social media
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 10:12 AM
4

I bought her a facial for Christmas once. It was like $200-300 I can’t quite remember. But I did it via gift card. … she tipped $100. I was like what the fuck are you doing? $50-$60 would’ve been fine. The entire process took 2 hours. So they made $30 and hour in tips and the markup on that service HAS to be outrageous. Ignorant as shit.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 10:10 AM
1

So not worth the response lol
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 10:04 AM
3

This is what I can’t wait to see. Cutting her from phone, gym, tanning, nails, hair, car, car ins, car registration, electric should go down. I may have to pay child support but I feel like I might still win
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 10:03 AM
5

Ohh man I can’t wait to be rid of it! No more spending on Botox, facials, tanning, hair, nails. Those costs alone will prob be my child support so it’s like a lateral move getting rid of her!
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 10:01 AM
1

That explains so much
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 09:43 AM
2

Instagram is worse
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 09:31 AM
4

Came here to figure this out too. She quit her job when she found out I wanted a divorce in December. She also tried to kill herself. Being a decent human I tried to work on things with her to at least get her on level ground. Now she says she wants a divorce because she hates my work hours. I have her w-2 that shows she had a full time job all last year. I’m trying to go 50/50 with her (doctors assured me the kids would be safe) and I shielded them from the attempt and all the other bs she’s do…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 09:29 AM
1

She is in the mental hospital
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 04:55 AM
2

Ohhhhhh man! So similar it’s crazy. Ok, document EVERYTHING. She doesn’t come home, dates. Anytime she does something crazy, dates, times, actions. Keep ALL texts. I know she’s verbally abusive you don’t have to tel me and I’m sure it’s all over texts. Do not take the bait! Let her say shitty things and don’t give it back. Build up a long ass history of this! You will reach breaking point and all of these things will come in handy.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 11:23 PM
1

Holy fuck me too! First paragraph… I’ll continue to read and post again if necessary.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 11:19 PM
9

Sweet christmas
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 12:34 AM
1

She has to meet specific requirements for maintenance and it’s capped at 3 years as in after 3 years times up.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 12:34 AM
9

You said solo traveling is expensive and yet you think you can afford it if you’re divorced and single?
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 06:00 PM
2

Thanks, I’m not worried about assets as much as custody. I would want 50/50 and “custodial” parent. I meant would this data be at all considered if she made a play at full custody. Basically to bolster my stance that she is not stable and should not have them more than half the time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 02:42 PM
1

Thanks, my name is the only one on the deed and the only one on the mortgage. Due to this, do I even have to tell her that I’m refinancing or doing a heloc? As long as she gets her share shouldn’t that be that? The how doesn’t matter right?
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 04:45 PM
1

That’s kind of the way I was looking at it
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 01:53 PM
1

It looks like refi rates will be around 7.5 and heloc rates will be like 7 over 20 years. I’m thinking heloc and keeping my mortgage lower and 7% on the around 25000 is much less painful over 20 hrs compared to 7% on 310000 over 30 years. I’m not sure how closing costs and all that work yet with the heloc, but keeping a 3.2% seems like the way to go
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 01:06 PM
1

I’m watching these never heard of them
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 09:12 PM
2

Ya but often basic data required is always the same. I’m just trying to streamline my end that way we can strike fast
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 09:00 PM
2

This i fee will be me. I fought my ass off not to get to this point, but here we are
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 08:36 PM
1

Lol I did this on a phone and it was listed idk why it forced it to a big vomit paragraph. Sorry my dudes
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 08:32 PM
1

In it already
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/22 01:44 PM
4

That’s so true too! I swear I can’t say anything without hearing “ok gaslight.” I was sitting in the bedroom with her the other night and she was watching some Netflix real estate trash and a guy and girl were talking. As soon as he said something that was different than what the girl wanted “ok, gaslight.” It’s like she’s conditioned herself that if she doesn’t like it or disagrees just say gaslight. It’s ridiculous
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 02:43 PM
2

I’ve noticed the sitcom thing for sure and I’ve also noticed that it has seemed to become present in commercials as well.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 02:04 PM
1

I don’t care if that kid is 17 you wait dammit. They will remember forever dad already had a piece when he was on the way out the door. Doesn’t matter what kinda pos mom is that kind of detail gets burned into you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 11:38 AM
3

You’re not weird my lunatic is never satisfied or happy. “I can’t be happy in this kitchen” renovates. “I’ll never be happy with my body and my saggy mom boobs” pays for augmentation. “I feel like such a loser in a minivan” gets a Telluride. NEVER EVER PAY FOR BREAST IMPLANTS! The amount of divorce it leads to is staggering.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 11:26 AM
3

I would love some statistics on how many women on those sites are in crazy debt
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 11:18 AM
4

If it happens organically I’d agree. If you went looking through a catalog and found them I’d hardly call that waltzing into your life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 11:15 AM
3

I’m so glad I’m not weird. I think the dating app scene is gross too. I have not and will not join one. Anyone who makes an advertisement for themself online looking for hookups and shit like that, no thanks. People met each other organically for centuries at functions and gatherings which put them near people of similar interests and it worked. Not sure why people think that’s changed. The dating app thing to me screams instant gratification and that explains why she does that. I’m not like her…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 11:13 AM
8

Holy shit this is where mine has reached recently. This bitch wants all sorts of shit, clothes, just got a $3K purse has nice new Telluride. She sits on Insta all day and will buy whatever it tells her is cool. She bought 2 $30 travel mugs the other week because it was said it was cool on insta. Legit those words came out of her mouth. Not because I needed a couple or coffee mugs that stay warm my whole shift for the winter. Because insta said they were cool. She went to a charity function a few…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 11:10 AM
2

Dude idk if I’m going to any amusement parks anytime soon lol. Or boats either. Firm ground sounds nice
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 12:05 AM
2

Going strong but it’s hard. She’s really gone off this time the highs and lows are unbearable. I’m keeping up appearances for the kiddos. We did a family movie night last night. Made sandwiches and snacks together watched Steven universe then movie. She was a part for about 15-20mins then went upstairs. It made for a good night. I’m just weathering the storm. I need to get her out. She messaged me today while I’m at work about how I’m lucky I’m at work. Then said I’m taking the kids to great wol…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/22 07:22 PM
1

Ya I just wanted to nuke her and her friend on the way out. Her friend supported her affair and now I’ve got word of mouth saying she’s had an inappropriate relationship with that friends fiancé lol
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 12:57 AM
1

That’s the plan. I had already thought of using the car to keep my pension clean. I’m not worried about furniture either because it can be replaced. Her moving out voluntarily and me staying in the home with the kids strengthens my position and should make me keeping it and giving her her portion of the equity no problem. Most seem to concede that if I can afford to refinance and pull the equity out to pay her off to keep the kids in their neighborhood and schools the courts wouldn’t make me sel…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 12:21 PM
1

OLD looks terrible and I would feel trashy doing it
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:56 PM
1

Statistically speaking it doesn’t work.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 05:53 PM
1

You’re not wrong and I’ve considered everything you’re saying. It’s taking no emotional toll on me to help her get there. At the end of the day it’s a benefit because it shows her voluntarily leaving the family home and it strengthens my claim to it. Team that with wanting to maintain status quo for my kids I get the house and just have to pay her her part of the equity. Sure quick satisfaction would be saying “your problem you figure it out” Long term satisfaction of getting the house and havin…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 04:56 PM
1

Yes
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 04:51 PM
1

She’s moving out and will be living in a separate place. We will remain married until we figure out if we want to work it out or move on.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 04:14 PM
1

Ya I know, I’m still hoping that maybe she will get her mind right. I want to be able to say I’d done 100% everything I could to save my marriage and family. I’m putting my odds at about 15% though sadly
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 04:11 PM
1

The apartment?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 04:07 PM
2

Man I feel much better reading this because i was worried I was crazy. I don’t want any part of the online dating drama or anything like that. I expect to stay single at least until my kids are grown and focus on them and myself.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:41 PM
5

I have never cussed at my wife or said anything negative about her to her. In the last week I’ve been told “I don’t need you” twice. I let it go and didn’t take the bait. Ironically she does need me because she had to ask me to co-sign her apartment she’s moving to and can barely afford. Reality is coming
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:37 PM
1

I swear they’ve been conditioned with this crap now. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “I can go out it’s ok!” Etc. Yes you can go out. But in moderation. Don’t go all the time. Don’t leave your kids constantly. Don’t come home and sit in the bath for an hour plus then come down eat and go back up to bed. Talk to your kids. Acknowledge them!
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:33 PM
2

This is the number one reason I’m mad at my soon to be ex. I’ve fought and fought to keep this family together but her selfish ass doesn’t seem to want it and I can’t make her but don’t act like you’re not the reason this happened to the kids. Hell she’s the one who had the affair and has been in and out of the house. I’ve been keeping this family (me and kids) going for 2 years now and I’m still willing to do anything. Counseling you name it. At the end of the day it’s coming and like I told he…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 03:29 PM
1

I guess my question is could the court say I in any way need to pay for where she lives? Or will they say not his problem you need to move to an area you can afford
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 02:51 PM
1

There is some credit card debt, nothing too crazy and I have a pension and ira. I’ve considered using her car as leverage for her to drop claim to my pension
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 02:49 PM
2

Mine has been posting how she’s an “en enneagram type 2” … she’s not Posts stuff like “I love to be helpful” Doesn’t do shit at the house hasn’t been grocery shopping in like 2 years and idk the last time she cooked. Has probably done 20 loads of laundry this year. “I bring altruism to a relationship” Had an affair “Deeply feel others emotions” Had an affair and led me on during it “Affectionate” Ignores me and the kids She is nuts
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 11:38 AM
2

It feels good knowing that I can keep my head high with how I’ve responded to my cheater. I’ve also got to say to her that it doesn’t matter what happens in the future because a relationship born out of lies can never last and any relationship she enters the question will eventually be asked as to what happened to our marriage. She doesn’t bring up her affair that’s just another lie and eventually it will come out.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 11:13 AM
1

I don’t think you need to show the kids. That’s petty. It’s bad enough she’s breaking the family up but she’s still their mom and for their best interest you should not want to ruin that relationship. Unless of course she’s toxic or abusive to them.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 11:10 AM
2

8 0
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 03:49 AM
1

I’m curious for those of you who dabble in this area, would you take a shot on a single mom of 3 (1 that’s autistic and can be hard) plus mental health issues of her own (of course she’s never disclosing that initially) who also cheated on her husband and doesn’t make much financially but likes expensive things (I’m talking $3k purse expensive)? Or would you say nah that’s a lot of baggage
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 02:42 AM
2

The most important people in my life are my kids, but I’m a close second
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 09:34 AM
1

Also in Indiana did you have to pay spousal support?
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 03:08 PM
2

Lol I won’t my mil has brought it up more than I have
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 11:23 PM
2

Her mom, dad and sister all voluntarily said they would write something if I needed it. Plus everyone I work with, my family would, and our neighbors would I’m sure.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 12:31 PM
11

If you’ve got kids that love you and know you’re a good dad ir wasn’t a waste. They will see what their mom is eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 09:53 AM
1

I don’t anticipate in lieu of child support. I fully expect to pay it and according to the state calculator I’d only be on the hook for around $400 due to parenting time and childcare/healthcare costs. I would offer to continue to pay her car in lieu of equity since they’d be about equal value.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 09:48 AM
1

She can’t force if I can buy out and she won’t be able to go full custody either as there are no grounds (I am an excellent father and very hands on… my kids will want to stay with me over her. They wake up at night sick/scared they come find dad never mom, I do all bedtime, dinner, homework, laundry, groceries, dishes, housework, ensure they have clothes and bathe regularly. One of my children is autistic and sometimes won’t sleep, who’s there for that? Dad every time. I monitor my daughters bl…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 09:46 AM
1

Except I have all the messages and communication regarding the move in texts that and she could go back well over the last few years and you will not find anything violent or even rude towards her in text. However, you would find her violent and rude texts.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 09:41 AM
2

Also the 6 month lease allows me to establish that she was willing to work with my schedule for parenting time (shift worker) so after having months of a parenting plan in place that has worked for both parties voluntarily it would be difficult for her to argue against that plan in a divorce
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 12:43 PM
2

I understand how it’s defined and will be documenting overnights as well. The lease is 6 months and we are not officially getting divorced yet. The way I see it is if I can give her 6 months of space and it gives me peace fine. The money spent is just hurting her more in the long run as it gives her less upstart money. If we did divorce she would need things anyway for my kids and I would have provided them. The goal is to help any kind of transition to be as smooth and easy as possible on my ki…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 12:40 PM
1

You’re not wrong but with 50/50 I don’t pay too much especially when you subtract healthcare and childcare
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/22 06:10 PM
3

Never assume this, found out 2 sets of our friends knew my wife was cheating and stayed silent.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 12:49 PM
4

Idk, I got served but I definitely hold the cards. Superior income, spend more time/effort with the kids. She may get 50/50 time but as it goes on and they can make their own decision I’d be willing to bet they come home for good to me one day. My kids love me because I take interest in their interests and give them real time communicating and doing activities. I will get the house because she can’t afford it on her own and I can afford to buy her out of her half. I I can give her more than she …
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 12:42 PM
3

Wish I had heard that before it was too late
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/22 10:55 AM
3

Indiana no alimony state. Spousal support is capped at 3 years and she would have to qualify for it which she probably wouldn’t since she bailed. CS based on time with kids so 50/50 means you pay less. If you pay for childcare and the child’s healthcare those are deducted from child support.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/22 10:44 AM
1

I honestly can’t imagine too many successful single men wanting a 35 year old mom of 3 (1 diabetic and 1 autistic- I love them dearly and am a great father I’m just stating from the outside looking in that would be a lot to take on) with a lower income stream and multiple health issues and mental health issues. I mean she hasn’t even gone grocery shopping in over a year, doesn’t cook or clean, barely spends time with her kids. She will find fuck toys I’m sure but a real relationship will be hard…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/22 10:36 AM
2

I HOPE that happens to mine. Let her keep aging and she is not doing it with grace. She is very attractive but constantly needs to be told so and constantly buying make up, clothes, Botox, nails, hair styles etc which she won’t be able to afford when we are done. She can barely handle the kids the handful of time she has them now and idk what she will be like when 50/50 starts and she’s on her own with them. I hope she has her fun and is entertained for a while but as the time wears on no man ge…
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 08:19 PM
2

God it can’t get here soon enough
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/22 12:45 AM
2

Nice! Glad to hear it’s going well!
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/22 01:17 AM
1

Ended up being just a provisional hearing we didn’t even need. Judge seemed like he felt like we had everything under control. We are doing the parent class in a week and then just waiting is what it looks like.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/22 01:14 AM
1

I realized in the paperwork we set our official separation date of may 9th and there is a 60 day separation period here. I wonder if it’s the initial meet and greet or whatever or if it’s just done. I’ve heard other people say they filed uncontested no lawyers and didn’t even see a judge.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 12:08 PM
2

Thanks, hopefully since it was uncontested and we agree on everything they will just be like “nothing to see here move along”
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 12:02 PM
2

It was file uncontested. I’m actually the respondent but I did most of the paperwork
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 11:23 AM
2

It was pretty easy really
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 11:20 AM
4

This is what I was looking for, oh my man I can feel the gratification as I read.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/22 07:47 AM
1

We literally filled out and turned in all associated paperwork at the same time
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 03:53 PM
1

That’s true, we did the government provided formula to calculate child support though. And it’s a no alimony state
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 03:42 PM
1

Wouldn’t they need to ask about home life before just assuming? I got that in spades if so. She’s grocery shopped maybe 3 times in the last calander year. Probably done less than 40 loads of laundry and did dishes even less than that I’m sure. Never did the yard work. Has probably cleaned the bathroom around 20 times through that time period. I make sure all that stuff gets done every week.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 03:04 PM
3

What surprised you?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 02:22 PM
5

Man I wonder if it could be it 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 01:01 PM
6

It’s a zoom meeting 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 12:43 PM
4

Right there has to be some good advice in here on pitfalls and opportunities
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 12:29 PM
8

Oh buddy I am not looking for reconciliation read the end of the post. I’m more interested in if anyone ever got the dreamed of scenario hearing “I was wrong can we try again” only to be able to say “I’m sorry no, never again”
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 12:16 PM
2

Wow, the first half is exactly what it seems like I’m going through. I wonder if her life will end up like that in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 11:19 AM
3

Sit down using your net income and an estimate of all your bills, I usually try to use $10-20 more than I think it should really cost for each bill that way I’m building a nice buffer. Put everything on paper and you’ll feel better.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 09:16 AM
1

That’s how I feel too because it was not vested with community property
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 05:20 PM
3

Because they are always searching for a better mate/situation. Especially with social media showing people on vacations or with toys they may not be able to afford in their current situation they will be trying to trade up. Most women are less likely to be satisfied with their lives while seeing someone they know live better
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 04:03 PM
5

Because most will never be satisfied with their current situation and will seek out something better. Especially with social media showing people with potentially “better” lives on vacations or buying toys they may not be able to afford unless they trade up on their male
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 04:00 PM
2

Cheat code: every time you get gas/groceries/etc pull like 10-20$ cash back. Build a stack to pay for a consult with a lawyer in cash. She’ll never know.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 03:54 PM
8

I’d rather staple my nuts to a park bench and cover my ass in fire ants than ever do this shit again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 03:50 PM
1

Omg that’s brilliant
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 03:47 PM
1

I was in the same boat. Talked to the lawyer anyways he looked it over said it all looked good and we didn’t need him but call him if things change. Good dude
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 10:27 PM
1

I WISH she would get checked for this. The marriage counselor thought she might have borderline and she wouldn’t go to another therapist to get checked. She quit marriage counseling because I manipulated the therapist against her…. Just to give you an idea of what I’m dealing with.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 09:52 AM
1

This is my current situation, I keep worrying that i need a lawyer but she and I are getting along fine and agree on everything thus far including parenting time and I will have custody. It makes me want to not rock the boat.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/22 06:06 PM
2

So if we are both not represented and we file together and it gets finalized. Let’s say 2 years later she decides she wants a new deal, outside of child support there really isn’t anything she can do right?
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/22 12:55 PM
1

But if it’s finalized?
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/22 09:26 AM
2

50/50 time split and she makes more. She will probably pay you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 08:03 AM
2

I have the benefit of definitely being the more hands of parent and it’s no contest
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 11:26 PM
4

God bless Indiana. Alimony (spousal maintenance) is capped at 3 years and there are certain requirements that must be met to receive it in the first place.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 09:50 AM
1

So if i decide while she’s gone I want one, how does her voluntarily moving out of the home effect that outcome?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 02:02 AM
0

I’d love to reconcile. We live many states away from any family and barely know anyone here so no friends to stay with
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 02:00 AM
1

Don’t do it! I love my kids more than anything but man it’s exhausting being the only one in the relationship and caring for the kids. Imagine how it feels now and imagine how it will feel when she goes hot and cold not just to you but the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/22 09:43 AM
1

Thanks, clearly I’m struggling with all this. Just trying to get ducks in a row before I file. I want as much time as I can get with them
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 12:40 PM
1

So I don’t understand the 2255 thing assuming I want Monday and Tuesday nights like you said what days out of the month would I get and would it amount to 50/50?
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 11:43 AM
1

I see what you’re saying. How could i word that to protect myself? I definitely want Monday-Wednesday nights. I’m the most consistent thing in their lives and will need to be around for homework, steady bedtimes and actual meals not fast food. It would be in their best interests school wise to be with me those days. Would it be better to push for one weekend a month (that should bring it to even 50/50) or go with every other Sunday (reaches 50/50) plus one Saturday? I’m just trying to do my best…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 10:45 AM
1

With sundays and mondays off it wouldn’t be unheard of, especially when schools are out on Mondays for in service days or teacher training which is at least once every other month in my district. Team that with me keeping them out an extra day or two and there’s a 4 night trip. We’ve been doing these things for years anyway. I’m just saying set it in stone these are my days to have them for 50/50 purposes.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 10:16 AM
1

They get out of school at 2… I literally pick them up at 2 and take them to the zoo or park or for ice cream 3 times a week already. We literally go do these things every weeks already.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 10:11 AM
1

I have for the last 3-5 years 100% given more of my time to my kids than her. I’m the one who was up all hours of the night, I’m the one who takes them places. I don’t understand how a trip to the zoo on Saturday is more valuable than a trip to the zoo on Tuesday. I understand from a flat everyone works mom-Fri and both parents spend equal amounts of quality time and put equal amounts of effort into their kids my proposal seems weird. Unfortunately for my kids, I am the sole person who has been …
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 10:01 AM
1

This is the exact schedule I’m proposing due to a very similar work schedule. Sunday 130- Thursday 3pm every other week, Monday 130pm- Thursday 3pm. That’s all 100% time in my care no childcare. That’s maximizing parenting.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 09:07 AM
1

After my above comment, is it about quality/quantity time with the kids or parents free time?
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 08:44 AM
1

If it’s seriously about time with the kids you’re telling me it’s better for me to “have” them on a Saturday and pay a sitter while I work than them spend it with their mother who barely sees them all week as it is. I would take them any Saturday I can get off work for sure. And I would take them and pay a sitter if that meant anything. I mean that scenario just seems to hurt everyone because once that cost of childcare on a Saturday is computed it just lowers child support even more. It also se…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 08:39 AM
1

Idk you sound kind of jaded. I literally watch my neighbors kid get picked up every weekend. They’re never with their mom on the weekend. He takes them Friday Saturday Sunday nights. Essentially what I’d be asking for.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 07:56 AM
1

This sounds like us honestly. I do almost everything involving the kids and she spends more time dipping out to go out with friends. The thing is as it stands she just sits around and waits till I get home on Saturdays now. She will go get the kids donuts sat morning (a treat for the kids) and an excuse to strap my 3 year old in a car seat for an hour. She also goes to the gym another 30+ min of kid in the car seat and then the gym staff watches him for 2 hours. Mind you I get off at 3pm at the …
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/22 07:52 AM
1

What does 2255 mean?
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 04:37 PM
1

I want my kids on my days off. I want them as much as possible
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 04:36 PM
2

Oh I will take them Saturdays if she was worried about that no questions! I just work those days is all until the late afternoon, but if I had to leave them with a sitter until I’m off so be it to go 50/50. I’d gladly take them Saturday nights so she could go out I wouldn’t care. To me it’s about time with the kids for sure. I’m off most of the day Monday and Thursday all day Tuesday and Wednesday that’s why I would want those times.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 04:31 PM
3

I would take them on Saturdays I can negotiate off of work and would take them Saturdays when I’m off in the afternoon no question! If she wanted to go out Saturday evening or night I would gladly take the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 04:28 PM
1

That seems like a fair gig though right from an outside perspective?
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 03:14 PM
2

Well she would have them Thursday, Friday, Saturday night and every other Sunday. I work nights on Thursday Friday if they wanted me to pick them up Saturday I would for sure! I’d take them every day if I could but I would want her to get her time too.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 03:12 PM
1

What’s 2-2-5-5? We have a nanny for times we are both at work already. It’s not much because our days off are separate so that’s nice.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 03:07 PM
18

This is my fear. I’m 100% the victim in our case but she is excellent at getting people to feel sorry for her. She somehow tried to make herself the victim when she was cheating on me if you can believe it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 09:57 AM
1

This is what I’m hopeful for because she loves it. I bought it brand new last year and I had new rims put on it last month. She wants that car. I’m hoping if I agree to take my much older car and give her that she won’t fight as much on the house which she couldn’t afford anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 09:40 PM
1

https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/divorce/marital-property-division/understanding-and-calculating-1
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 09:38 PM
1

In indiana spousal maintenance is capped at 3 years and they have to qualify under very specific guidelines. The best I could bet in her case would be “rehabilitation” which allows her to establish herself. After that 3 years it’s done.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 09:37 PM
4

I so feel your pain
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 07:17 PM
3

This is where I am now. I did make the mistake of telling her I think she’s a narcissist… yikes. She’s excellent at manipulating my emotions. Had an affair for six months while I was taking care of her because I thought she was super depressed. She had told me about it and then got depressed. I spent months trying to help her and take care of the kids all while dealing with the turmoil of having been cheated on without anyone to talk to because I tried to protect her. Little did I know that whol…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 07:14 PM
2

This is how I feel so I stood up and said I would not be leaving. This is her issue and she can figure it out but it shouldn’t involve impacting my time with my kids or uprooting my life.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 12:14 PM
1

Indiana
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 12:13 PM
3

Yes, she’s the one pushing all this. I’ve been trying to fight for our marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 12:12 PM
1

Well she could do that I mean she’s the reason we are in this mess
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/22 04:09 AM
1

That doesn’t seem to make sense though as there is a value attached to each vehicle. Based on that the home should go to who stays there the most and the kids should go to who cares for them the most
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 02:46 PM
3

I should be able to, yes. Basically when we divide assets I could give her my half of savings and be good. Also, could the value of her vehicle play into it? I bought her a $40K vehicle (in my name) last year. If it’s paid off and the value of mine is like $11K (also in my name)
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 12:23 PM
3

If after buyout and refinance if she can’t afford it would they allow me to keep it assuming I can afford it? I just want to keep things normal for my kids. It’s only a buyout of equity right?
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 12:17 PM
2

How’d you win 60/40 of the equity?
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 01:07 PM
1

At this point I figure her moving out also helps me because she is voluntarily leaving the home. I’m down with a 50/50 split of assets. I bought her a $40k car last year and I drive a 2014 paid off vehicle. The values of those will be assessed and I imagine it should play a factor in the division since both are in my name. She can keep the $40k ride with the rims I put on it last month… but I want your share of the house. Figure that might work?
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 11:37 AM
1

Careful here, if you lack self control you could lose your ass off too
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/22 09:56 AM
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