Moving out

TheBoyBand · 2022-06-02T00:01:12+00:00

If I were a betting man… she’s got Someone lined up already.

playerknowmore · 2022-06-02T00:38:48+00:00

Her just asking for separation would move me into divorce mode. This seems like a monkey branch, but she doesn't know how strong the other limb is. She is not sure if he can maintain the quality of life you afford her, and odds are she needs to be sure he will leave his wife.

My friend's wife had a seven year plan. Didn't want to get divorced until she could get half his pension. Her affair was going on five years before. Her affair partner was married with children and his wife found out and took him to the cleaners. So they had to keep the affair secret until she will receive maximum settlement. The court award twenty five percent of his pension and no spousal support. They couldn't figure out what his cash business made.

He chose to fight and his lawyer left her in a one bedroom apartment. They had to sell a four bedroom home. She even had to pay for half the home improvements. That really cut into her settlement. Believe in love as long as you can, but when your story starts sounding like this story get a good lawyer.

SubjectSimple2185 · 2022-06-02T00:24:58+00:00

I would tell her that if she wants to move out she needs to sign divorce papers first. It sounds like you are a back up plan if the guy she is seeing doesn't pan out.

hotantipasta · 2022-06-02T00:26:48+00:00

She wants the benefits of being married without having to put in the work. If you're okay with that then tell her. It does sound super fishy but that's my take.

Gxl4 · 2022-06-02T05:55:08+00:00

She wants a separation. Keeps saying she doesn’t want a divorce

Read as: she wants you still liable for her and the kid, while Chad and Tyrone bone miles of dick through her when she leaves the house, but they will send her back where she belongs after they are done. The streets.

Has been in recovery mode.

I don’t know a single one that “recovered”, what does that even mean, she crossed the line, cant recover from whats done, or is she a known serial cheater? given another chance is a chance to get fucked over again, literally.

Is the kids yours? Get a DNA test. No seriously, get a test.

she has mental health issues.

If we could just stop wifing them up, and making them pregnant, that would be great.

Get full custody, you’ll regret it if you give out favours like the candyman 5 years down the road. She sure as hell wasn’t thinking about you when she cheated. Actions need to have consequences gentlemen.

NothingIsEverEnough · 2022-06-02T00:39:47+00:00

Here’s the deal. She may be out there with other men, who don’t give a shit.

But if you want to date other women, many of those women will give you a hard no, because you’re a married man.

Why would you want to keep strings attached like that?

upfnothing · 2022-06-02T01:02:33+00:00

Divorce now. She’s just trying to send you a massive hint before she files. Mine did this and I didn’t recognize it for what it was. Would have changed my life had I known better.

RandomOlderGuy · 2022-06-02T02:51:31+00:00

If she wants to move out. you can't stop her. Let her go. kids stay in the house with you. Talk to a lawyer. After she's been gone a week or so, serve her with the divorce petition. If she unilaterally leaves. that is seen as abandonment.

Get your finances completely separated ASAP. half the cash. cancel all joint credit, and have your private cards replaced to keep her from using them. Any bills that don't include mortgage or utilities that are in her name get paid 100% by her.

How you split the rent and mortgage is negotiable. If you keep kids with you. she needs to pay child support during the separation.

Nickwco85 · 2022-06-02T01:19:43+00:00

My thoughts are that if she wants her own apartment, then she's leaning towards divorce. Basically any apartment requires a year or longer lease. If you're separated for a year, I can't imagine reconciling. If she just wanted a few months apart to work on yourselves, then she would stay at a friend or relatives place for a bit.

I'm wondering about the guys that say "let her go." She either wants to go or she doesn't. It's not like you can force her to stay. If she wants to move out, then she is. Don't beg or plead. You also never said what you want. Do you want to get divorced or do you want to try to reconcile? That's the most important part

pegleg_legal · 2022-06-02T03:41:32+00:00

If she's moving out, let her. If she's asking you to move out, be careful.

I'd go with the separation as she requests, play along. Don't stir up some massive conflict before she moves out. Once she's out, keep her happy in the separation. Get her accustomed to being on her own. Don't make her suffer. Then when you're ready, you can just file and move into divorce mode. It's a lot easier to convince someone to jump out of a plane if they believe they have a parachute.

funk205 · 2022-06-02T00:39:28+00:00

Hmmm… I would let her move out. Just make sure you document it. IANAL but moving out before a divorce can be devastating to her case. I would play it cool then go along with it for a while, then file once it’s established that she has been gone a while.

Edit: talk to a lawyer, also, she’s probably banging someone else already

Eve-3 · 2022-06-02T00:03:01+00:00

Ask her what she sees as the difference between divorce and separation and why she wants one but not the other.

akihonj · 2022-06-02T06:10:17+00:00

If she truly wanted the marriage to work she would be sticking to you like glue, not like a cheap Chinese suit.

No she wants to move out because given the choice it would not have been you, you know it and she knows it. The fact then is he chose his wife, she knows she was used but he probably thought it's a bit of fun for the two of them and that's as far as it will go.

She still chose him when it all blew up. Remember that, she didn't choose you.

You love her yes, she has mental issues yes, but her choice dictated the outcome, her mental illness is no longer your concern or duty, she chose another.

Her wanting to move out is for two reasons, first she wants to see if she will miss being with you, if she does then she must love you at least a little bit, second to get the separation from him, being around somebody she should love reminds her of him so she can't move on.

Also if expect that she has somebody else lined up, get over somebody by getting under somebody else.

Let her go and file, you have a plan so stick with that, let her issues become her issues not yours.

stent00 · 2022-06-02T13:04:34+00:00

Women are never truly single. Always has men's in her orbit ...

syro23 · 2022-06-02T07:58:22+00:00

Once a cheater always a cheater. Move on. If taking action now puts you in a better position act now.

Her affair partner choosing to stay with his wife is beyond typical. Men just want sex, not a whole other stress and headache in their life.

RepresentativeOk5968 · 2022-06-02T19:46:40+00:00

Heck no. She want to move out, already had an affair, marriage is already over. Stop giving her the opportunity to take more from you and start divorce now.

thefudmaster · 2022-06-02T04:20:45+00:00

Let her move out without the kids and stop supporting her. File immediately when she leaves.

TraditionalThing8279 · 2022-06-02T04:48:02+00:00

Tell her to move out.

Kwen_Oellogg · 2022-06-02T07:37:41+00:00

So let's rephrase what you just said. She wants to live the life of a single women, but at the same time she wants to keep you as her backup plan? Does that sum up what she wants?

File for divorce. You can always stop the process if you make it to reconciliation.

And you don't say how old the children are, but if they are over the age of 6 then they will be better off with you 100% of the time. And that has nothing to do with taking the children away from their mother. This is about protecting your children. If the women ever gets her head on straight then she can have visitation.

Good luck brother. You got this.

Skurvee · 2022-06-01T23:51:01+00:00

Yes let her move out, but support her in doing so. Obviously, something is wrong with the marriage. Find out what is broken and use this separation as a time to work on yourself. Both of you get therapy individually, marriage counseling, or both. Why move into divorce mode when she doesn't want a divorce?

Skurvee · 2022-06-02T00:46:31+00:00

So there's info you're not sharing or assuming? What are the options that she has?

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-06-02T17:39:43+00:00

She can move out but the kids stay with you.

> She’d barely have money to do anything if she only got child support and her wages.

Stop. She's a grown ass adult and can take care of herself. Her problems are not your problems to solve anymore. She already found herself a new white knight.

mrledia · 2022-06-02T19:43:08+00:00

Good luck with trying to understand emotions and not logic

trashy615 · 2022-06-04T09:56:21+00:00

A separation so she can live like she's single while you're still on the hook for her debt? Fuck that.

Title	Moving out
Author	FuckMatias
Upvotes	5
Comments	49
Date	June 1, 2022 11:38 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/v2uzo0/moving_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/moving-out.1117643 https://theredarchive.com/post/1117643

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