Gentlemen if you’ve seen my posts you know it’s been a long journey. I’m more tired today than I’ve ever been. I’m pretty sure she’s bipolar and undiagnosed which makes everything scarier. I don’t want to set her off during these holidays I want her to be able to get out of the house quietly. She’s been manic and all over the place for 2 days now and it’s killing me.

I worked late last night and we were polite and ok all day. In the middle of a texting convo she had a swing and suddenly I’m this evil thing. She’s saying all sorts of awful things… I don’t take the bait all my responses are neutral and measured.

Come home at 1230am and the house is a wreck. Food on the counter (ramen which makes me think my 10 year old fed her and her sister dinner) there was a shop vac in the kitchen from where she had cleaned up hair from cutting my sons hair. Cars and toys all over the living room and basement. Clothes from the kids all over the floor and kitchen, the tv is on in the living room and basement. I come around to the couch to catch my breath and there is my seven year old asleep sitting on the couch.

How long did she just sit around alone on a school night? Why couldn’t she just put her in bed and read to her like I do?

I’m so tired